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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇴 has shared:

Oh great, you brought your ancient ancestors with you.

Someone from 🇳🇿 has viewed:

Girls will be like, “This is my comfort song,” and it’s the howling of a wolf inside a dark forest.

Someone from 🇰🇬 has copied:

I talk a lot of shit for someone who is startled by my own toast popping up while I’m watching it. Every. Single. Time.

Someone from 🇮🇳 has copied:

The hottest thing a man can be is boring in his 30s.

Someone from 🇹🇯 has viewed:

For my final act of love, I will never contact you again, but think of you always.

Someone from 🇭🇹 has shared:

I wish berries were the size of apples. Just imagine for a second.

Someone from 🇸🇿 has viewed:

Me every time I wake up: Oh no, not again!

Someone from 🇾🇪 has copied:

You can’t change your past but you can change your pasta.

Someone from 🇬🇾 has downloaded:

I love how one day my body just decided “You know what you really need is some ear hair.”

Someone from 🇸🇳 has downloaded:

It’s so funny that people directly compare Dune and Furiosa when all that they have in common is that there’s sand.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,665

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on WeChat:

Is stir-fry the only dish where the instructions are in the name?

Spotted on Slack:

When you want to key his car, but he doesn’t have one, so you bend his bus pass.

Just landed via Threads:

Establish dominance at work by telling your coworkers they look tired before they get a chance to say it to you.

Just landed via LinkedIn:

My first rodeo and my last rodeo were the same rodeo.

Seen just now on YouTube:

If kids these days had a perfume, it would be called Audacity.

Seen just now on Snapchat:

My dental hygienist is probably thinking, I bet i could braid this guys nose hair.

Broadcasted on X:

If the universe is continuing to expand then why does my rent keep going up?

Shared recently on X:

My neighbor is having some kind of party and didn’t invite me. I guess I have to call the cops again.

Shared recently on Threads:

I got a raise! On my meds dosage. But still.

Spotted on Reddit:

I refuse to learn the color coding for heart emojis. Your heart means what I want it to, and vice versa.

Funny doubtfire quotes

Funny Doubtfire quotes bring a burst of laughter and nostalgia to any day! 😂✨ Whether you’re a fan of Robin Williams’ unforgettable performance or just love clever one-liners, these gems never fail to brighten moods and spark joy. Ready to dive into some hilarious moments that prove laughter truly is the best medicine? Let’s celebrate the wit and warmth of this classic with quotes that keep the fun alive! 🎭💬🎉

New funny doubtfire quotes 👇

All funny doubtfire quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Funny Quotes Collections
✨ New Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

99 shares on Reddit this month:

Microsoft: Before you sign in, we need to send you a code. Also, Microsoft: OMG, was that you that requested a code? Also, Microsoft: OMG, someone just signed in to your account.

77 shares on X this month:

I smile at all animals, just not the human ones.

84 shares on Slack this month:

Can we all agree that Mini Cooper drivers need to put an extended flag on the back of their cars so the stalls where they’re parked stop looking empty?

15 shares on X this month:

Somethіng wrong іn your lіfe? There’s a nap for that.

70 shares on Discord this month:

My plumber asked me for a Google review. I said I thought it was a really good search engine and I’d give it 8/10.

30 shares on Discord this month:

That awkward moment you can’t understand what somebody is saying after they have repeated it about five times.

64 shares on TikTok this month:

Homeless man just called me a “loser,” and I showed him my house keys.

44 shares on X this month:

We should be able to call in healthy: “I feel amazing today, and I’m not wasting it at work.”

54 shares on Twitch this month:

I read that Miley Cyrus will be starring in a remake of Silence of the Lambs. She’ll be playing Hannibal Montannibal.

19 shares on Discord this month:

I have almost 100,000 miles on my office chair. So I got that going for me.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

16 folks are currently checking 👀

I was going to learn to play the violin, but it was too much of a commitment. I wanted something with no strings attached.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

If I had 50¢ for every math test I’ve failed, I’d have $7.20.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

Welcome to your 50’s; you can have a really good laugh at everyone moaning about their aches and pains in their 30’s.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

Intro to salsa class was weird, I starved myself all day, there was no chips or dips and then these weirdos were all grabby and dancing around.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

Nobody rots in bed like I do.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

No one suddenly needs anything more than a kid whose mom has just sat down and gotten comfortable.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

Seems like paleontologists always have a bone to pick.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

There’s a great new book on minimalism but I only read the blurb because I believe that’s what the author would want.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

Can we skip to the rich part?

15 folks are currently checking 👀

All these galaxies and planets, and we ended up on the one with 40 hour work weeks.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,269

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇪🇷 has bookmarked:

50 shades of single.

Someone from 🇰🇭 has copied:

How did the person who invented the spelling of “banana” decide when to stop?

Someone from 🇬🇹 has downloaded:

God: “You can’t just say ‘Goddammit!’ and expect Me to damn it. There’s a procedure. File the paperwork.”

Someone from 🇪🇬 has downloaded:

Your Honor, that doesn’t sound like me.

Someone from 🇭🇺 has viewed:

Deja poo is when you feel like you’ve heard the same shit before.

Someone from 🇸🇻 has shared:

I don’t like talking to people with an IQ lower than the room temperature.

Someone from 🇧🇭 has shared:

“I’m basically the human version of finding $20 in old jeans.”

Someone from 🇸🇾 has downloaded:

I’m an adult in the same way that Katy Perry is an astronaut.

Someone from 🇬🇧 has viewed:

Quitting a job is not enough. I need them to go out of business when I leave.

Someone from 🇹🇻 has bookmarked:

Instagram is just Twitter for people who go outside.

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Snapchat:

Imagine playing Truth or Dare and they dare you to go home.

Making waves on X:

I get it, laundry, no one is doing me either.

Live now on WhatsApp:

Life would be so much simpler if you could just smack the stupid out of people instead having to reason with them.

Spreading quickly via X:

If I ever had to fight a bear, I hope it’s a gummy bear.

Spreading quickly via WhatsApp:

My boss wants me to train some other employees so it’s pretty obvious he has no idea I am completely incompetent.

Just shared via LinkedIn:

After all these years, Jude Law has finally noticed me and responded to my love letters. Something about staying 500 feet away. I’m getting it framed.

Shared recently on WeChat:

Girlfriend says because we got Chinese yesterday, we can’t get it again today. I don’t think that makes sense. They do it in China all the time.

Just shared via Pinterest:

The breathing exercises from the birth preparation course are only needed once the child has reached puberty.

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

A little mystery is the sweetest seduction.

Broadcasted on Instagram:

My favorite thing to do is nothing.

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