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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇳🇱 has downloaded:

That bourbon chicken from the mall only tastes good on that toothpick. You order it, and it’s not the same, I swear.

Someone from 🇸🇿 has downloaded:

This too shall pass… It may pass like a kidney stone, but it will pass.

Someone from 🇴🇲 has shared:

Listen up. If he hooks his sunglasses in the front collar of his shirt, he’s got something important to say.

Someone from 🇴🇲 has downloaded:

Ever since I was little, I always knew I wanted to retire.

Someone from 🇭🇺 has copied:

What no one tells you about having kids is that within a few years you’re in possession of a lot of teeth that you have no idea what to do with.

Someone from 🇸🇾 has shared:

Weirdos gonna weird.

Someone from 🇭🇷 has downloaded:

I love when my cat sighs at me, like what’s got you stressed out my little freeloading homicidal maniac!?

Someone from 🇻🇳 has shared:

Having little kids is great because I love spending hundreds of dollars each week to feed my floor and my trash can.

Someone from 🇧🇪 has bookmarked:

It’s so unfair that saying “xd” is still socially acceptable, but only if you’re speaking Spanish.

Someone from 🇲🇼 has shared:

I can’t wait to go to bed, get terrible sleep, and wake up exhausted with a sore back.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

240 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,509

Funny Quotes Topics

17,577

Funny Quotes Images

15,509

Updated

Jan 7, 2026

Users Online

3,342

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Reddit:

As a child, all I wanted was as to be a time traveller, like my grandson and his grandson before him.

Seen just now on TikTok:

Starting an OnlyFans, but it’s just videos of me trying to use chopsticks.

Spotted on Discord:

I’m sorry to break it to you, but you need a soul to have a soulmate.

Shared recently on WeChat:

There’s nothing like the first two months with a man when he’s still pretending to be a good person.

Breaking via Messenger:

You’ve agreed to go out with me, so that’s going to immediately count against you.

Making waves on WeChat:

I have never in my life learned from another person’s mistakes, I would literally let a giant wooden horse into my house right this second.

Freshly posted on Reddit:

Anything can be a dating app if you aren’t a coward.

Spreading quickly via Slack:

I’m naturally funny cause my whole life is a joke.

Shared recently on TikTok:

I appreciate all clouds. Fluffy, non-fluffy… it’s how Bob Ross would’ve wanted it.

Live now on WeChat:

Why can’t opportunity just come back later?

Funny dwell quotes

New funny dwell quotes 👇

First rule for the new year is to not dwell on what went wrong this year.

0

2 months ago

dwell, new, new year, positivity, reflection, rule, self-improvement, wrong, year

Someone from 🇭🇷 has recently bookmarked this quote.

16 shares on Slack this month.
I am very depressed and in a really bad mood. Perhaps it will get better if I sit inside on a beautiful day and dwell compulsively.

0

5 months ago

am, bad, bad mood, beautiful, beautiful day, behavior, better, compulsive, compulsive behavior, day, depressed, depression, dwell, dwelling, humor, i, inside, irony, mood, sarcasm, sit, sitting, sitting inside

Someone from 🇭🇹 has recently bookmarked this quote.

70 shares on Discord this month.

All funny dwell quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

94 shares on Snapchat this month:

Don’t buy roses for her, buy chicken nuggets. Show her you really care.

75 shares on X this month:

Another beautiful day, ruined by responsibility.

67 shares on X this month:

The word synergy sounds like a mix of the words sin and energy. Like, to be debauched but to do it with flair and zest.

75 shares on WeChat this month:

Men become instantly more attractive when they wear aviators; it’s science.

32 shares on Facebook this month:

Guys will say, “I know a spot,” and then take you on a downward spiral.

49 shares on TikTok this month:

Losing a white tee to a stain is a different kind of grief.

66 shares on Slack this month:

It’s been my experience that people seem a lot nicer before we get married.

96 shares on LinkedIn this month:

My therapist is fluffy and walks on four paws.

95 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I am convinced that some of you are failed experiments that gained sentience and escaped from a lab.

35 shares on YouTube this month:

You know those lines you see painted on parking lots? I know this will come as a shock to some of you, but you’re supposed to park between them.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇻 has downloaded:

Can’t think of a single time the MGM lion advanced the plot of the movie in any way. Just needless jump scare.

Someone from 🇬🇾 has copied:

I don’t like this new trend of old people wearing shirts of bands I listened to when I was a kid.

Someone from 🇲🇲 has bookmarked:

The feminine urge to start a coven.

Someone from 🇫🇮 has downloaded:

Seeing my kids getting along, laughing, and peacefully playing together is the best minute of my day.

Someone from 🇧🇼 has bookmarked:

Babe, are you OK? It’s already Q4, and you’ve barely touched your “2025 roadmap.”

Someone from 🇯🇴 has copied:

Authenticity is whispered, but bullshit is broadcasted.

Someone from 🇧🇪 has viewed:

The universe clearly isn’t working as it should so someone should turn it off and back on again.

Someone from 🇹🇭 has shared:

I never though I’d be the kind of person who wakes up early to exercise. I was right.

Someone from 🇬🇾 has downloaded:

Long sandwiches should have suitcase handles.

Someone from 🇳🇬 has bookmarked:

Saying “Hmmmm” when my boss walks in so he knows I’m thinking about stuff.

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Facebook:

I think we just need to accept that the 90’s was our peak as a species.

Trending via Discord:

All the stops on the bus are pointless, except the one I’m getting off at.

Going viral on Messenger:

I’m only grumpy when I’m awake.

Spotted on WhatsApp:

I’m an adult in the same way that Katy Perry is an astronaut.

Just landed via Reddit:

All my favorite activities involve a mattress.

Seen just now on Telegram:

I am not in a good place, geographically.

Trending via Slack:

Every time I buy vegetables it’s a triumph of hope over experience.

Seen just now on Twitch:

The guy that said laughter is the best medicine obviously wasn’t suffering from diarrhea.

Live now on X:

Egg nog was invented in Germany back in 1816 when Baron von Heldebrandt reportedly said “Hey guys, let’s get this custard drunk!”

Spreading quickly via Pinterest:

Christmas bonus so small you have to call your bank and ask “is it in yet?”

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Funny dwell quotes

New funny dwell quotes 👇

First rule for the new year is to not dwell on what went wrong this year.

I am very depressed and in a really bad mood. Perhaps it will get better if I sit inside on a beautiful day and dwell compulsively.

All funny dwell quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨