Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇴 has downloaded:

I regret to inform you that the secret to appearing well-read is to read.

Someone from 🇧🇦 has bookmarked:

The Titanic is a great lesson of why “just the tip” can get you into a whole lot of trouble.

Someone from 🇰🇲 has shared:

Whenever someone tells me how well behaved my kids are, I say it’s cause they’re not at home.

Someone from 🇧🇸 has downloaded:

I hate when I go to the kitchen looking for food, and all I find is ingredients.

Someone from 🇺🇦 has downloaded:

When planning dinner, remember that ice-cream has both calcium and protein.

Someone from 🇪🇹 has shared:

Ain’t no girls in my messages, just a bunch of verification codes.

Someone from 🇸🇳 has copied:

Alcohol: When you want to run away from your problems without moving.

Someone from 🇲🇲 has bookmarked:

My coworkers think I’m always busy, but I’m really just trying to remember my password.

Someone from 🇦🇪 has viewed:

Walking on egg shells? In this economy?

Someone from 🇳🇱 has viewed:

Some people’s laughs are funnier than the joke.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Updated

Jan 19, 2026

Users Online

3,445

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Reddit:

I accidentally said “large” instead of “venti” at Starbucks and now the cops are here.

Shared recently on WeChat:

What would boomers do without their paper shredder?

Live now on WeChat:

An introvert walked into a bar. Just kidding. The introvert stayed home.

Seen just now on Threads:

I’m so single right now, I can’t even spell relayshaunship.

Just shared via Snapchat:

It’s the perfect time of year to focus on my indoor hobbies, like lying down in a dark room and feeling insane.

Trending via TikTok:

Nobody knows what to do with me and I just think that’s beautiful.

Seen just now on Telegram:

They should invent a food that sounds good for dinner tonight.

Shared recently on WeChat:

Leggings: elegant for some, elephant for others.

Breaking via WhatsApp:

Yesterday my husband thought he saw a cockroach in the kitchen. He sprayed and cleaned everything thoroughly. Today I’m putting the cockroach in the bathroom.

Just landed via Messenger:

Leaving out milk and cookies for Santa is literally making an offering to a deity.

Funny eat right quotes

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All funny eat right quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Funny Quotes Collections
✨ New Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

69 shares on Instagram this month:

“Autism didn’t exist until recently!” Have you met old guys who work in hardware stores?

47 shares on Pinterest this month:

Goodnight to the men who know one woman is enough. The rest can get sleep paralysis.

79 shares on Messenger this month:

The best part about getting added to a group chat is leaving two weeks later.

20 shares on WeChat this month:

Scrolling should count as cardio.

87 shares on Discord this month:

Just found out it don’t matter how early I go to bed, I just don’t wanna go to work.

26 shares on Twitch this month:

I have an addiction to pattern recognition.

44 shares on Messenger this month:

I think we just need to accept that the 90’s was our peak as a species.

47 shares on Instagram this month:

Naps hit different when you’re using them to avoid being alive.

71 shares on Twitch this month:

The more you embrace your crazy side, the more fun life becomes.

59 shares on Reddit this month:

If we’ve got the technology to make heated car seats, then where the hell are the seats that automatically cool down in the summer? Make it happen, nerds.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

23 folks are currently checking 👀

Who’s up thinking about the crushing weight of existence?

21 folks are currently checking 👀

When the moon hits your eye like it’s 5:45, that’s November.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

You’re never too old to shout, “Mooooo,” when you drive past some cows.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

I wouldn’t describe myself as an “adult”, per se. More like a “long child”.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

Indiana Jones is a fantasy about being a professor with no admin duties.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

Are you even a parent if you’ve never carried your child out of a store sideways like a surfboard?

14 folks are currently checking 👀

Jewelry stores should just be like: Whether you’re trying to be nice or trying to get laid, we got you covered.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

There’s a reason we say cheese and not salad when we have to smile for a photo.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

I love how women can go from obsessed to not interested at all when a man makes that one wrong move.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

A real smart TV would increase the volume when you start eating chips.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Updated

Jan 19, 2026

Users Online

3,673

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇰🇮 has shared:

Y’all need to stop marrying people who look just like you do but with a wig on.

Someone from 🇧🇮 has copied:

As a retiree, I have two pairs of pajamas. Bedtime and daytime. Sometimes I get them confused.

Someone from 🇹🇻 has downloaded:

One thing that could really “level-up” the experience of being a pedestrian would be if cars had some kind of feature that could indicate whether or not they were going to turn in a particular direction.

Someone from 🇨🇦 has bookmarked:

It’s funny how drinking 8 cups of water a day seems impossible, but 7 beers and 5 shots in two hours go down like a fat kid on a seesaw.

Someone from 🇦🇸 has bookmarked:

I don’t know how to mop my kitchen floor without pretending l’m cleaning up a gruesome crime scene.

Someone from 🇯🇲 has copied:

Bands who can’t afford a smoke machine should hire my wife to cook at their concert.

Someone from 🇩🇿 has copied:

Great minds think alike, but so do stupid ones.

Someone from 🇸🇷 has shared:

Spotify Wrapped: February was your basketball watermelon loudspeaker phone call hip hop moment.

Someone from 🇧🇦 has shared:

I had a Russian Uber driver the other day. His name was Pikup Andropov.

Someone from 🇹🇹 has shared:

A couple of birds are outside fighting. Wait. They’ve quieted down. There’s a third bird. I think he may be their therapist.

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Telegram:

I asked my dad what his favorite joke was. He said, “I can’t pick a favorite. I love you and your sister equally!”

Going bananas on LinkedIn:

I need someone to wring out my brain like a dishrag.

Trending via Reddit:

Telling a child not to touch something only ensures that child is definitely now going to touch that something.

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

I childproofed my house but the kids still get in somehow.

Freshly posted on TikTok:

Some people are wise, some folks are otherwise.

Trending via TikTok:

Might mess around and reply, “That sounds like a you problem,” to every work email today.

Trending via TikTok:

If rich people aren’t upset after an election, then we have failed.

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

Everything is 10 times funnier when you are supposed to be quiet.

Going viral on Slack:

I bought a robot vacuum today. Named it “Dustbin Bieber”.

Just landed via Pinterest:

When I die, I want to come back as a speed bump so I can piss people off.

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