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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇼 has bookmarked:

Boyfriends come and go… reply guys stay forever. Against your will, even.

Someone from 🇦🇪 has viewed:

Going to have a hobbit boi summer (throw a huge birthday party for myself, then mysteriously vanish right after insulting everyone).

Someone from 🇧🇷 has downloaded:

I might not be able to speak another language but I can speak English slower!

Someone from 🇧🇮 has viewed:

I’m not saying Lois Lane is a bad investigative journalist, but my friend Greg didn’t wear glasses to work yesterday and I recognized him by lunch time.

Someone from 🇪🇹 has viewed:

Don’t go chasing waterfalls? The place where many video games hide easter eggs and other rare items?

Someone from 🇿🇲 has viewed:

Went out of town, came back and the roomba changed all the locks.

Someone from 🇮🇸 has shared:

My life advice is always the same. Wait for karma, but take up kickboxing, just in case.

Someone from 🇧🇳 has viewed:

It’s hard to sleep knowing that cake is in the fridge.

Someone from 🇸🇩 has viewed:

I would like to have the peace of mind of a cow. I already have the body.

Someone from 🇧🇳 has shared:

It’s obvious now that democracy is a busted flush and that in future politicians should be selected via several rigorous rounds of Taskmaster.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,694

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via TikTok:

Tolerate the lactose already, you heathen.

Shared recently on X:

If the apple really doesn’t fall far from the tree, my kids are screwed.

Trending via TikTok:

What is the name of the course in medical school where you learn not to take your patients seriously?

Spreading quickly via WhatsApp:

Please go out, have fun, have friends, make connections. That mysterious lifestyle won’t save you.

Trending via Messenger:

I hate when I gain 10 pounds for a role and then realize I’m not an actor.

Just shared via Messenger:

This morning, like every morning, he practiced his quick draw of his finger guns in the bathroom mirror, because you just never know.

Live now on Pinterest:

I would love to have children one day. Two days maximum.

Spotted on Instagram:

Roses are pink. I need a drink.

Making waves on TikTok:

We’re all in the billionaire submarine now.

Just landed via Telegram:

Look at you with tape over your camera, while Amazon, Facebook, and Google have your whole life on file.

Funny elections quotes

Funny elections quotes bring a hilarious twist to the serious world of politics 🗳️😂 From witty comebacks to clever observations, they turn campaigns into comedy shows 🎭✨ Whether you’re a voter or just love political humor, these gems will make you smile and maybe even rethink the ballot box 🤔🎉 Get ready to laugh through election season like never before!

New funny elections quotes 👇

All funny elections quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes
🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

78 shares on Threads this month:

Having a peanut allergy has to be so wild. Like, imagine you’re at a baseball game and there are people chucking bags of rattlesnakes past your head.

86 shares on Telegram this month:

If God had known what mankind would turn into, he would have sterilized Adam.

21 shares on Slack this month:

God, I was so happy when I was 18. I wasn’t at the time, but in retrospect I was.

70 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Why would I date a nonchalant man? I like my men how I like my thong.

26 shares on Snapchat this month:

Saw someone from high school. She said she hadn’t seen me in years. That’s likely because I’d always seen her first.

95 shares on WhatsApp this month:

I’m not your dream woman. I am the sudden shouting of ravens that you hear when you enter a part of the forest you shouldn’t have.

23 shares on YouTube this month:

Mashed potatoes are just German guacamole.

62 shares on Threads this month:

Who you are when you’re stuck behind a slow driver is the real you.

71 shares on WeChat this month:

We can put a man on the moon but we can’t find a good way to drink wine from a lying down position.

81 shares on Telegram this month:

Grateful for independence mostly because British food is gross.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

7 folks are currently checking 👀

Today, I want to talk about underperforming continents. Antarctica, explain yourself.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

Hey bro, please stop using all the good skipping rocks at the river.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

Scrolling… good take… bad take… nothing take… cyberbullying… beautiful woman.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

They’re making me get out of bed.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

Choosing to ignore my strangely symbolic dream because I have a lot going on right now already.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

Text her when the moon looks pretty.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

Got electrocuted while fixing the doorbell, and now I can hear my girlfriend’s thoughts. She’s thinking she should have called an electrician.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

I googled my symptoms and it turns out I just need this election to be over.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

I thought I liked seeing movies, but it turns out I like eating candy in a dark room where it’s illegal to talk to me.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

When I put on weight, it’s around my stomach. When I lose weight, it’s around my legs. I’m not a structural engineer, but that can’t be good.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,346

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇶🇦 has bookmarked:

Your pronouns should be get/help.

Someone from 🇯🇴 has copied:

I love staying in a hotel. I’m eating room service in bed while I watch the worst TV show of all time on cable television. I’m working out in the gym and swimming in the pool. I’m using the amenities. To hell with Airbnb.

Someone from 🇲🇬 has bookmarked:

Are cassette tapes considered classical music yet?

Someone from 🇦🇲 has downloaded:

Let’s see how long my Monday slump lasts this time. Last week it was until Friday.

Someone from 🇹🇿 has viewed:

The Cranberries. Great band name. You pick a fruit and you get to work.

Someone from 🇬🇶 has downloaded:

I once had a psychic girlfriend, she left me before we met.

Someone from 🇨🇲 has copied:

Luckily, I realized that all this love I want to pour into someone else was actually meant for me.

Someone from 🇱🇰 has viewed:

I’m no doctor but I’m pretty sure this Santa-shaped chocolate oughta settle my stomach.

Someone from 🇱🇸 has bookmarked:

Why are these idiots only giving robots two arms?

Someone from 🇫🇷 has bookmarked:

Letting her be the passenger princess cause I care about my safety.

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via X:

If I’m gonna jingle your bells, I’m definitely gonna jingle them all the way.

Freshly posted on Slack:

Having teens is fun because they demand their independence but then turn right around and ask you for $20.

Shared recently on X:

I have many talents, all equally un-monetizable.

Broadcasted on Telegram:

Actually, men should take the pill. It makes more sense to unload the gun than to shoot at a bulletproof vest.

Shared recently on X:

Rare earth, this rare earth, that. There’s nothing more rare on this earth than affordable housing in a walkable neighborhood.

Making waves on Snapchat:

A two-step guide to warning someone not to hit their head: 1. Wait until they’ve hit their head. 2. Say “Ooh, mind your head!”

Going viral on Pinterest:

I don’t have any patience because it takes too long.

Freshly posted on YouTube:

My kids had to work extra hard this morning but they were able to get the clean house back to it’s normal messy state just in time for the guests to arrive.

Just shared via Discord:

As I’m cleaning my room, this is a friendly reminder that you actually don’t need that free t-shirt or tote bag from that event.

Shared recently on Pinterest:

Female dragonflies will fake their own deaths to avoid mating with unwanted males. They are like, “Ugh, here comes Carl again. Play dead, girl!“

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