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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇩🇰 has viewed:

There should be a three-day weekend: one day to do nothing, one day to do something, and one day to do laundry.

Someone from 🇵🇭 has viewed:

How many exercise videos do you have to buy before you get some results?

Someone from 🇰🇬 has viewed:

Everyone’s a gangster until their doorbell rings.

Someone from 🇮🇪 has downloaded:

Netflix be like “we know exactly what movie you talkin’ ’bout but we ain’t got it lol”.

Someone from 🇹🇿 has copied:

Not having to bring my backpack to the last day of elementary school was the last time I truly felt free.

Someone from 🇲🇳 has shared:

Slowly descending into madness. Anyone want anything?

Someone from 🇺🇿 has shared:

Texting is so boring. Just show up to my door with roses.

Someone from 🇳🇷 has shared:

My phone is like my lover, it’s the last thing I see at night, and the first thing I wake up to every morning.

Someone from 🇯🇲 has copied:

It’s important to listen to both sides of the debate because you need to hear both the reality of the situation and also the dumbest thing anyone’s ever said.

Someone from 🇨🇫 has viewed:

If I’m ever murdered, feel comfort in knowing I ran my mouth until the bitter end.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

55 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,324

Funny Quotes Topics

17,443

Funny Quotes Images

15,324

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,352

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Reddit:

Terrifying if taken literally—if these walls could talk.

Breaking via Telegram:

By accepting their pardons, the turkeys are admitting guilt.

Freshly posted on Slack:

Have to connect the printer to my new laptop, and my goal is to cry no more than three times.

Trending via Facebook:

Eating the sticker on an apple counts as 35% of your daily fiber intake.

Spreading quickly via Discord:

Unfortunately, I am not nonchalant, I will set myself on fire.

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

People really be like, “I would never do that to you,” and then do it with a remix.

Just landed via Facebook:

I am the human version of tangled headphones.

Trending via Discord:

Keep smiling, it makes people wonder what you’re up to.

Spotted on LinkedIn:

In a parallel universe, Mariah Carey is doing her shopping and is sick of hearing me on every store’s speaker system.

Live now on Threads:

I went from dancing with myself in the 80s to talking to myself now.

Funny emotional baggage quotes

Funny emotional baggage quotes ✈️💼 bring a hilarious twist to those heavy feelings we all carry around. Life’s too short to take our past too seriously, so why not laugh at the quirks and chaos of our emotional suitcases? 🎒😂 Whether you’re unpacking old drama or just need a mood lift, these witty gems will lighten your load and put a smile on your face! 😄✨

New funny emotional baggage quotes 👇

All funny emotional baggage quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes
🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

92 shares on Snapchat this month:

My day starts backwards, I wake up tired and I go to bed wide awake.

49 shares on TikTok this month:

Welcome to your 50s: You’re not attracted to anyone who likes you.

29 shares on Pinterest this month:

Boy, did The Shining nail what it’s like being an only child.

39 shares on Messenger this month:

At my age, a trail of clothes leading to the bedroom, means I dropped them on the way from the dryer.

62 shares on Threads this month:

Somewhere there’s a girl ignoring 15 guys for a guy who gives her no attention.

45 shares on TikTok this month:

If the shampoo and the conditioner finish at the same time, one of them faked it.

18 shares on Reddit this month:

My wife had a dream that I have a secret second wife named Linda. Now, when she’s mad at me, I just say, “Linda wouldn’t get mad about that.”

39 shares on Messenger this month:

You will watch an old classic movie that kind of sucks. Then, on the IMDb trivia, it says, this was the first time a film director ever pointed the camera at the sun.

41 shares on LinkedIn this month:

You don’t have to write every day to be a writer! You just have to feel guilty every day that you don’t.

76 shares on Facebook this month:

Please, if you ever offer me a snack and I say no, ask me again, I didn’t mean it the first time.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

20 folks are currently checking 👀

I will not stop replying with gifs. I am a Millennial, it’s my birthright.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

Can someone write me a note to get out of being a responsible adult?

24 folks are currently checking 👀

When you realize your punishments as a kid (stay home, take a nap, no junk food, go to bed early) are now your goals as an adult.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

Nothing more humiliating than sending a text message with a picture and the picture doesn’t send for ages and now you’ve said something sooo odd out of context.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

What is the morning wood equivalent for women, and why do I always have it?

16 folks are currently checking 👀

You look like you suck at Mario Kart.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

Home Depot should allow men over 40 to have birthday parties in their stores.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

Her idea of a romantic setting is one that has a diamond in it.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

You have one week to ask me to be your Valentine. Requests must be in the form of poetic verse written in your blood.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

If you get cremated after you die, you can be put into an hourglass and still participate in family game nights.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

55 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,324

Funny Quotes Topics

17,443

Funny Quotes Images

15,324

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,561

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇼 has bookmarked:

(pausing the TV and turning to my kids) Now I want to talk to you guys for a second about what Bart just told that man to do.

Someone from 🇱🇧 has downloaded:

Your honor, if it pleases the court, here’s Wonderwall.

Someone from 🇸🇩 has viewed:

My girlfriend treats me like a god. She ignores my existence and only talks to me when she needs something.

Someone from 🇱🇾 has shared:

Not my room, not my elephant.

Someone from 🇪🇹 has downloaded:

Salted, and I cannot stress this enough, butter.

Someone from 🇰🇳 has shared:

You aren’t from the Midwest unless you can spin out in the snow, regain control and keep driving like nothing happened.

Someone from 🇰🇳 has shared:

She calls me Anthony Bourdain because I eat her parts unknown, no reservations.

Someone from 🇧🇮 has viewed:

Bon Jovi must be at least 3/4 of the way there by now.

Someone from 🇧🇳 has downloaded:

I have this rare skin disease called perfect.

Someone from 🇵🇬 has shared:

You don’t scare me. You’re not those two minutes when I can’t find my wallet.

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on LinkedIn:

Welcome to social media. A person who does not understand humor will contact you shortly.

Just shared via X:

Women love deciding to never talk to you again, and actually do it.

Trending via LinkedIn:

My son is teaching himself Christmas songs on the trumpet, proving things can be both beautiful and annoying.

Spotted on Snapchat:

Sex is cool but have you ever had a king size bed all to yourself.

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

Not to sound like a potted plant, but sunlight and fresh air really make a difference.

Breaking via WhatsApp:

Apparently “ew no” is not an acceptable way to tell my boss I don’t want more responsibility at work.

Freshly posted on X:

Life is full of questions. Idiots are full of answers.

Spreading quickly via Threads:

I love being wrong, it’s just like being right except easier and I get to be stupid, which is my favorite thing.

Breaking via WhatsApp:

You want me to do Pilates? The thing that killed Jesus?

Spotted on Instagram:

There are people on TV who are not ruined by fame, but who ruin fame.

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