Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇨 has shared:

Sorry I missed your call when I pressed decline.

Someone from 🇦🇲 has shared:

I absolutely hate being woken from a nap. There were other treadmills in the gym that dude could have used.

Someone from 🇸🇮 has bookmarked:

Therapy isn’t enough. I need to run my brain through the dishwasher.

Someone from 🇨🇾 has viewed:

A DM? Flirt on the timeline like a real man.

Someone from 🇳🇵 has copied:

Sometimes I think about Adam and Eve and how they couldn’t even get a babysitter.

Someone from 🇬🇭 has bookmarked:

All income is disposable if you’re brave enough.

Someone from 🇧🇦 has shared:

You can tell a lot about a person by breaking into their home and going through their belongings.

Someone from 🇪🇬 has downloaded:

Being too stressed isn’t good for the baby. I’m not pregnant though, it’s just that I’m the baby.

Someone from 🇧🇷 has copied:

Pluck a single eyebrow hair in 1994, and it never grows back. Pluck a single chin hair today, and it’s back with five friends by 6 p.m.

Someone from 🇲🇿 has shared:

The good news: once you get a PhD, friends and family will refer to you as doctor. The bad news: They will only do it when you’re wrong.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,403

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Slack:

I can’t wait for my mom to come to my new house so she can tell me how I organized the kitchen wrong.

Just landed via Telegram:

Professor, set the time machine for right now. I’m trying to be more present.

Making waves on X:

People on Facebook be like “can anyone tell me about a thing I can easily Google myself?”

Shared recently on WeChat:

All my small talk is done with a car horn.

Going bananas on Slack:

Not to sound like a potted plant, but sunlight and fresh air really make a difference.

Seen just now on Twitch:

The baddest women come into your life when you have 37 dollars left.

Making waves on Instagram:

Jewelry stores should just be like: Whether you’re trying to be nice or trying to get laid, we got you covered.

Going viral on Messenger:

My only addiction is coffee, which is just like crack but is legal and tastes good.

Freshly posted on TikTok:

The Bible is 100% accurate when thrown at close range.

Spreading quickly via X:

“Normalize this, normalize that.” How about y’all feel shame for once?

Funny existing quotes

Funny existing quotes bring a burst of laughter and wit to your day 😂✨ Whether you need a clever comeback or just a smile boost, these gems never fail to brighten moods and spark joy 🤩💬 Get ready to dive into a world where words tickle your funny bone and brighten even the dullest moments! 🎉📢

New funny existing quotes 👇

All funny existing quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Random Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

25 shares on Twitch this month:

I love you to the refrigerator and back.

24 shares on Snapchat this month:

You amuse me, Jester. You may enter my bed chambers.

57 shares on YouTube this month:

As a wife and mother my hobbies include rage cleaning, rage cooking, and rage folding.

81 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Even when I look up the slang of today’s kids, I still have no idea what it means.

31 shares on Telegram this month:

Men have nice skin because they stress out everyone but themselves.

20 shares on WeChat this month:

I get writer’s block responding to people.

75 shares on YouTube this month:

Nothing has improved the quality of my life more than living beyond my means.

74 shares on Instagram this month:

Last night the Internet stopped working so I spent a few hours with my family. They seem like good people.

48 shares on Snapchat this month:

Vote for me and I’ll remove all the calories from cheese.

77 shares on Discord this month:

I just need a day between everyday… to recover from the day before… just so I can prepare for the day coming.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

8 folks are currently checking 👀

“What doesn’t kill you makes you stronger!” Oh, it’s ok, you can just kill me next time.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

If you accept a knighthood, you should have to participate in at least one jousting tournament a year. The tournaments should be televised.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

I wonder if the scariest moment ever in history has happened yet.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

Your ex is ruining someone else’s life now. You are safe.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

Two sheep walk into a baaaaa.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

He who laughs last didn’t get it.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

If “live each day as if it’s your last” means being paralyzed with anxiety and a sense of impending doom, then I am absolutely nailing it.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

It is very hard to set aside the time to do your taxes when you are really busy doing other things like eating a snack or looking around the room.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

I wish I had a pair of skinny genes.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

Why is there so much day left at the end of my energy?

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,747

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇫🇷 has copied:

Actually, you’re having a conversation with yourself. I’m just here so you don’t appear totally insane.

Someone from 🇨🇳 has viewed:

I like to do a task by worrying about it for three weeks and then finally dedicating 10 solid minutes to completing it.

Someone from 🇲🇲 has copied:

Prime numbers are so cunty. Like okay, diva — only divisible by yourself?

Someone from 🇩🇯 has copied:

Cats must think we’re so weird for constantly harvesting their poop.

Someone from 🇲🇷 has copied:

Welcome to middle age. Everything you encounter is either blurry or too loud now.

Someone from 🇬🇼 has bookmarked:

Umbrellas are great if you only want to get wet sideways.

Someone from 🇮🇶 has viewed:

Every girl is defined by their one lost love. And by that I mean the one fast food item that was discontinued without warning, subsequently ruining their life.

Someone from 🇸🇴 has viewed:

Believing that pharmaceutical companies want to heal you is like believing a casino wants you to win.

Someone from 🇹🇬 has copied:

I don’t mind being the villain in your story because you’re a clown in mine.

Someone from 🇯🇲 has downloaded:

Do vape shops and nail salons actually make money, or is my town’s economy one big laundering scheme?

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Pinterest:

My youngest had a mandatory drugs and alcohol lecture today at school, and he still can’t mix a proper drink.

Live now on Messenger:

No one ever talks about the 6th love language (being annoying).

Going viral on Snapchat:

Marriage is just asking each other, “What do you want to do for dinner?” and then replying, “No, not that,” until death do us part.

Breaking via YouTube:

Humble enough to know I can be replaced, but wise enough to know ain’t nobody else like me.

Going viral on WhatsApp:

It took three employees to help me complete “self-checkout” yesterday.

Live now on Discord:

I do not like FaceTime unless we’re best friends or I’m in love with you.

Trending via Telegram:

My mom gave me a coffee mug that says “Be your own kind of beautiful” and I’m really trying not to read too much into that.

Shared recently on WeChat:

Planking is the only time we appreciate time.

Going viral on Pinterest:

No more learning experiences, please, God. I am smart enough.

Broadcasted on WhatsApp:

Thanks for your email! Unfortunately, I have filled my pockets with stones and am making my way to the sea.

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