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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇷🇼 has copied:

I want to sleep but my brain won’t stop talking to itself.

Someone from 🇵🇬 has shared:

If the apple really doesn’t fall far from the tree, my kids are screwed.

Someone from 🇯🇵 has copied:

What doesn’t kill you makes you weird at intimacy.

Someone from 🇳🇬 has copied:

Hey, sorry I’m late, I didn’t want to come.

Someone from 🇪🇷 has shared:

Everytime I spend $20 I think this is fine because I won’t do it again. And then would you believe.

Someone from 🇲🇿 has downloaded:

People think I’m a minimalist, but I’m just broke.

Someone from 🇵🇪 has viewed:

The only thing you can count on with some people is that you can’t count on them.

Someone from 🇧🇳 has copied:

I accidentally used my dog’s shampoo today, and now I’m feeling like such a good girl.

Someone from 🇵🇬 has bookmarked:

I wonder how much this “Never mind, it’s only 10 bucks” has already cost me?

Someone from 🇧🇦 has bookmarked:

To the spirits in my walls: going to the store, be right back.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

769 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,931

Funny Quotes Topics

13,902

Funny Quotes Images

10,931

Updated

23 minutes ago

Users Online

3,432

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Instagram:

Moment of silence for those who received mugs that aren’t microwave- and dishwasher-safe.

Just landed via Facebook:

Shopping is the only exercise I need.

Breaking via Messenger:

Body by sandwich.

Trending via X:

Whoever is writing my Rom-Com, can you maybe, I don’t know, START IT?

Trending via WeChat:

Chores give kids a sense of responsibility while teaching relevant life skills such as procrastination.

Freshly posted on Slack:

if you think i’m rude, you should hear the lil voice in my head.

Just landed via Snapchat:

If I text you at 8:10, you’re supposed to reply at 8:09.

Freshly posted on Messenger:

I’ve deleted enough tweets to know that I should never get a tattoo.

Making waves on WeChat:

A gentleman always straightens out the vending machine after shaking it.

Making waves on Facebook:

I love routine. Until I’m bored, then I love excitement. Until I’m overwhelmed, then I love routine.

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media need people procrastination relationship sarcasm social someone technology time want work

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

769 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,931

Funny Quotes Topics

13,902

Funny Quotes Images

10,931

Updated

23 minutes ago

Users Online

3,435

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇰🇲 has bookmarked:

Bought a pair of night vision goggles so that I can easily find the fridge at night without waking my wife.

Someone from 🇧🇷 has downloaded:

And are the people who find you “hilarious” in the room with us now?

Someone from 🇩🇪 has copied:

Most people who have found themselves are amazed to discover that there is nothing there at all.

Someone from 🇪🇸 has viewed:

Every day, I’m gaslit into oblivion by beautiful women, and then I go to sleep.

Someone from 🇧🇼 has shared:

If you’re dating an alpha female, you need to know that they need to be babied at night, or else they will turn into a dragon.

Someone from 🇪🇸 has shared:

WhatsApp shouldn’t just display “seen”, but also “lies” and “also writes with other girls”!

Someone from 🇭🇷 has viewed:

“Why don’t you tell us anything anymore?” I’ve updated my privacy policy.

Someone from 🇾🇪 has bookmarked:

At my funeral, sit me up so I can see who’s talking to my man.

Someone from 🇲🇭 has copied:

My favorite game is guessing if my headache is due to dehydration, migraine, malnutrition, stress, lack of sleep, poor posture, or a brain tumor.

Someone from 🇮🇱 has bookmarked:

If a tree falls on your ex in the woods and no one’s around to hear it, you should probably still get rid of the chainsaw.

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Reddit:

Curious that talented athletes frequently credit God when they win, but we rarely see them blame God when they lose.

Shared recently on Discord:

Person: gives compliment. Me: let me give you a brief synopsis of why you are sorely mistaken.

Trending via YouTube:

I thought my friends in their 60s were making love in the other room but they were just putting on their socks.

Breaking via Threads:

Screen time so high, I should send another risky message and then ignore my cell phone for three days.

Just shared via YouTube:

Might quit my job to focus on actually putting away my laundry.

Spotted on WhatsApp:

The state of my house can best be described as “there seems to have been a struggle”.

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

I made up all these romantic scenarios in my brain and you’re not following the script.

Making waves on Threads:

Amazing how fast my addiction to my phone is cured the moment I get a phone call.

Shared recently on Discord:

Monday: The only day when you can wear the same outfit from the day before without anyone noticing.

Just shared via TikTok:

You can’t spell dyslexia without sexy.

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