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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇳 has bookmarked:

If you want to be sure that you never forget your wife’s birthday, just try forgetting it once.

Someone from 🇮🇳 has shared:

This wouldn’t happen to me if I were a huge dragon.

Someone from 🇦🇺 has copied:

Brains are funny. I can remember every word to a song I haven’t heard in 20 years, but I’ve got no clue what my email password is.

Someone from 🇸🇹 has shared:

Me, one week before the new year: Not to brag, but I have enough money to live comfortably for the rest of the year.

Someone from 🇸🇰 has shared:

Our parents used to drop us off at school with no water bottle, no phone and no snacks, yet somehow we survived.

Someone from 🇸🇨 has shared:

How is every author the #1 New York Times bestseller?

Someone from 🇼🇸 has copied:

The first pyramid scheme was when the Egyptians took credit for the pyramids that were clearly built by aliens.

Someone from 🇨🇴 has copied:

Anyone know which wine pairs well with societal collapse?

Someone from 🇨🇾 has viewed:

How are they running out of oxygen if they’re breathing it right back into the submarine?

Someone from 🇵🇱 has shared:

The problem is that you are in the dating pool when the other fish are in the ocean.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,246

Social Media Log 💫

Live now on Snapchat:

All of my fitness goals are within reach, but unfortunately, so are the crisps.

Just landed via YouTube:

Has anyone ever died from waiting for a group of people to decide what they want to eat.

Live now on Slack:

Jesus died for your sins. If you don’t sin then he died for nothing!

Going viral on LinkedIn:

Have you ever accidentally opened your front-facing camera, and it ruined your day a little?

Shared recently on Messenger:

Do we lazy people actually go to heaven? Or are we being picked up?

Making waves on Reddit:

Clothes too dirty for the closet, but too clean for laundry. Welcome to: the chair.

Making waves on Slack:

I miss when my biggest problem was whether my Happy Meal toy matched the one from the commercial.

Shared recently on Instagram:

There will be people in your life that say you have too many books. Those are not your people.

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

I am writing a book about reverse psychology. Please don’t buy it.

Going viral on Twitch:

Went to the gym two days in a row. This is a fitness account now.

Funny famous quotes

Funny famous quotes bring a splash of laughter to your day, turning wisdom into witty moments 😄✨ Whether from iconic celebrities or legendary thinkers, these gems make life’s lessons way more entertaining 🎉🤪 Ready to brighten your mood and share some chuckles? Dive into a world where humor meets fame, and every line is a mini comedy show! 😂🎤 #LaughOutLoud

New funny famous quotes 👇

All funny famous quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes
🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

83 shares on Messenger this month:

My son put his dish in the sink so I rushed him to urgent care.

24 shares on X this month:

Girls love a gay best friend until he turns 35 and asks to borrow your womb.

61 shares on Snapchat this month:

Stretching is not enough. I need to be rolled through a pasta machine.

61 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Cynics are – beneath it all – only idealists with awkwardly high standards.

93 shares on Telegram this month:

I really miss kissing. I hope next year favors my lips.

83 shares on Telegram this month:

As long as I’m alive, I can begin again and again and again, again and again and again, again and again and again.

94 shares on Snapchat this month:

Everything is a sign from God if you’re schizophrenic enough.

53 shares on Slack this month:

Santa doesn’t check the naughty list anymore, he just checks social media.

44 shares on Snapchat this month:

Before marriage, I would sit at a stoplight for hours because I had no one to tell me the light had changed to green.

10 shares on Snapchat this month:

You get to choose which path you take. I see some of you have chosen the psychopath.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

18 folks are currently checking 👀

Life is what happens in between trips to the fridge.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

Being a dinosaur sounds kinda nice. No bills, no work, just extinct.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

I could be a masseuse, or I could just be pulling your leg.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m not saying I’m old, but when I was in school, we made our parents ashtrays for Christmas.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

I like long walks, especially when they are taken by people who annoy me.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

If I’m ever on life support, unplug me, then plug me back in. See if that works.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

Ramen is just anime spaghetti.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

Egyptians did pretty well for a civilization that wrote entirely in emoji.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

Autocorrect has become our worst enema.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

Why is it spelled “camouflage” and not “ “?

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,261

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇩🇲 has downloaded:

I don’t hate you. I just don’t like that you exist.

Someone from 🇱🇨 has viewed:

Which one of you shrunk all of my jeans?

Someone from 🇫🇷 has viewed:

“Is there anything else I can assist you with today?” No, just that one thing you couldn’t assist me with, thanks.

Someone from 🇸🇴 has bookmarked:

Losing a white tee to a stain is a different kind of grief.

Someone from 🇦🇬 has viewed:

Welcome to adulthood: you’re not dying, it’s just Thursday.

Someone from 🇨🇿 has shared:

FaceTiming me is for platinum members only.

Someone from 🇰🇪 has shared:

Really wanted to be a therapist until I read some of your guys’ posts and problems, and I want nothing to do with that mess.

Someone from 🇳🇵 has shared:

I need to have a ginger ale about this.

Someone from 🇬🇶 has copied:

How you conduct yourself when using plastic wrap is the real you.

Someone from 🇲🇷 has copied:

Nothing says entitlement like a goose family crossing the road.

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Snapchat:

My phone and it’s charger are in a situationship and sometimes it works and sometimes it doesn’t.

Spotted on Facebook:

Happy new fear!

Making waves on Telegram:

The fake cough I use when calling in sick is now available on iTunes.

Going bananas on Twitch:

Would rather walk around a shop 500 times to find something than ask a member of staff who works there like a normal person.

Making waves on X:

I think every app should, by law, let you deactivate all of its short-form video content.

Making waves on YouTube:

I don’t miss calls, I stare at them.

Going viral on WeChat:

Everyone is gangster until they’re asked to reveal a “fun fact” about themself as part of a work event icebreaker.

Spreading quickly via Reddit:

I touched grass today, and I’m still like this. Please advise.

Freshly posted on Slack:

I feel like people just come to the airport to cough.

Freshly posted on Facebook:

I got Botox, and I asked the doctor, “How many years younger will this make me look?” and he was like, “Zero. You’ll just look like the other girls your age who have also gotten Botox.”

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