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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇫🇲 has shared:

Imagine if social media closed every day at 6pm like a shop.

Someone from 🇫🇲 has shared:

Trying to decide what to burn for dinner, so I can order pizza.

Someone from 🇨🇬 has shared:

I followed my heart. It led me to the fridge.

Someone from 🇧🇴 has copied:

I love how you get on Twitter, and all your thoughts are already in someone else’s tweet.

Someone from 🇧🇭 has copied:

That bourbon chicken from the mall only tastes good on that toothpick. You order it, and it’s not the same, I swear.

Someone from 🇶🇦 has copied:

“It’s Raining Men” and “Let the Bodies Hit the Floor” are the same song from different points of view.

Someone from 🇧🇪 has shared:

Adulting: unlocking life’s mysteries, one therapy session at a time.

Someone from 🇲🇰 has downloaded:

If you think about it, Santa really has the best job, he works one day a year and spends the rest of his time judging people.

Someone from 🇺🇿 has shared:

Having little kids is great because I love spending hundreds of dollars each week to feed my floor and my trash can.

Someone from 🇱🇧 has copied:

That awkward moment when someone keeps watching you while you are eating.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

241 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,510

Funny Quotes Topics

17,577

Funny Quotes Images

15,510

Updated

Jan 7, 2026

Users Online

3,614

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Telegram:

Coffee just tastes better when you are the only one awake in the morning.

Live now on Twitch:

Dear women, when you’re not around we load the dishwasher properly.

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

No, I am not refreshed from my long weekend. I was reminded that I am not meant to work, but I am trapped in The Machine.

Going bananas on Instagram:

Before you beef with me, just know I’m deeply malicious to my core once upset.

Going bananas on X:

Why do we call it tuna fish? Is there any other tuna out there that’s not a fish?

Just landed via Instagram:

He was clicking his pen 137 times a minute, Your Honor.

Freshly posted on Slack:

I need a button in Zoom meetings where it just freezes my screen and makes it look like I’m having network issues.

Going viral on Telegram:

All income is disposable if you’re brave enough.

Going bananas on LinkedIn:

Why is Saturday over in 7 minutes and Sunday in 4 minutes, but Monday is 84 months long?

Spotted on Threads:

Do we lazy people actually go to heaven? Or are we being picked up?

Funny first job quotes

New funny first job quotes 👇

Working my first office job. Is it normal to have nothing to do?

0

2 months ago

boredom, first job, humor, job, lack, lack of task, normal, nothing, office, office work, task, work, working, workplace, workplace humor

Someone from 🇹🇯 has recently copied this quote.

15 shares on Facebook this month.

All funny first job quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

92 shares on Messenger this month:

I tried to scream into the abyss today but got a busy signal.

95 shares on Telegram this month:

A relationship is like a shark, it looks better on TV.

11 shares on WhatsApp this month:

The feelings I have for Tom Cruise are the closest approximation I have to what patriotism must feel like.

12 shares on Discord this month:

My husband and I were doing yard work, but I started a fight so I could storm off into the air conditioning.

88 shares on Instagram this month:

One does not simply become a master of karate. First, you must accidentally walk into a spider web.

54 shares on YouTube this month:

Either the tables are going to turn, or I’m going to flip them.

30 shares on Telegram this month:

Rock bottom should give me free sandwich and coffee for how often I hit it.

50 shares on Pinterest this month:

I birthed my kid faster than she can put on shoes.

10 shares on WeChat this month:

I’m sorry if I seem weird, it’s because I am.

29 shares on Pinterest this month:

The ugliest version of me is the version that comes out when I play board games. I don’t know who she is, but she is a monster. She is not fit for human interaction.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇵🇾 has bookmarked:

The most disturbing thing about waking up at 4 a.m. is realizing some people do this on purpose so they can exercise.

Someone from 🇼🇸 has viewed:

I have poor night vision so I upgraded to LED headlights because it’s important to me to ensure nobody else can see either.

Someone from 🇦🇬 has shared:

I’ve left my past behind me, so if I owe you money, sorry, I’ve left it behind me.

Someone from 🇼🇸 has downloaded:

Commenting “AI slop” on a high school acquaintance’s Instagram post of their newborn baby.

Someone from 🇦🇷 has viewed:

If they cancel the Simpsons, we will no longer be able to see into the future.

Someone from 🇲🇺 has downloaded:

If I say goodnight and an hour later you see me online, it’s not that I lied; it’s just that I failed.

Someone from 🇲🇹 has downloaded:

If I had a tiny girlfriend, I would love to throw her across gaps so she can pull levers and open doors that get me to her part of the level.

Someone from 🇮🇳 has viewed:

Fasted for 72 hours and gained the ability to whisper to bats.

Someone from 🇶🇦 has copied:

The next time someone texts me “we need to talk,” I’ll reply, “Yes, we really need to talk,” so that I won’t be the only one stressing.

Someone from 🇲🇿 has viewed:

I’m so single, even my husband won’t match with me on Tinder.

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Snapchat:

True romantics have made peace with the possibility of lifelong solitude.

Shared recently on Discord:

Ctrl Alt delete my fat.

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

Bacon should be free for anyone having a bad day.

Shared recently on X:

Who called it a period tracker instead of a madvent calendar?

Freshly posted on Messenger:

Subtitles are for when you’re eating chips.

Seen just now on Twitch:

Mario Kart gave me unrealistic expectations of how banana peels affect traffic.

Trending via Messenger:

I drive regularly so that my brain doesn’t forget swear words.

Going viral on TikTok:

When phones were tied with wires, people were free. Now that phones are wireless, people are tied.

Spreading quickly via WeChat:

Free will: where you get to choose your own adventure … and regret it.

Spotted on Slack:

Sorry I’m late. It’s just because of who I am as a person.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Funny first job quotes

New funny first job quotes 👇

Working my first office job. Is it normal to have nothing to do?

All funny first job quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨