Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇾 has shared:

I wish companies would use pictures of models looking frazzled and exhausted on their websites, so I can get a real idea of what their clothes will look like on me.

Someone from 🇮🇹 has copied:

Some things are better left unsaid, which I certainly realize, right after I say them.

Someone from 🇧🇫 has copied:

Excuse me, but would you sign my petition to ban petitions?

Someone from 🇭🇺 has copied:

It amazes me how many battles in the first two years of the Civil War were decided by which side woke up the earliest.

Someone from 🇸🇻 has viewed:

Do you mind if I become the object of your desire? No worries if not.

Someone from 🇹🇭 has downloaded:

Her heart is an abandoned garden filled with ghosts and dying flowers.

Someone from 🇨🇱 has copied:

They can steal your recipe, but the sauce won’t taste the same.

Someone from 🇵🇱 has viewed:

Dear food, either stop being so delicious or stop making me fat.

Someone from 🇦🇲 has viewed:

Political ads be like: send us money so we can send you more ads.

Someone from 🇫🇷 has copied:

I’m not lazy. I just give my couch the love it deserves.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,675

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Instagram:

Eternal Sunshine of the Thotless Grind.

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

“It’s not that deep!” Well, I have a shovel and I enjoy digging for meaning.

Making waves on Telegram:

Netflix should’ve just maybe mailed us all this fight on DVD.

Trending via Instagram:

We really grew up in the best era to be a kid, and the worst era to be an adult.

Seen just now on Slack:

Don’t know how to explain this, but “hot honey” is the pickleball of condiments (derogatory).

Just shared via X:

Can’t. Calling out some bullshitters on some bullshit.

Going viral on Slack:

I’m not drinking 2% milk until we figure out what the other 98% is.

Freshly posted on WeChat:

No plans and no pants kind of day.

Live now on Twitch:

Whenever I see an athlete eating quark, I get sad, because the quark could have been turned into cheesecake.

Going bananas on Facebook:

Unless you fell off the treadmill, no one wants to hear about your workout.

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Funny Quotes Collections
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Social Media Stars ⭐

70 shares on Slack this month:

That strange moment when you are trying to be serious, but then you accidentally smile.

91 shares on Reddit this month:

“Machines will soon be as smart as people.” Ok, but which people?

13 shares on Instagram this month:

“Nah.” – everyone with an office job, from the Monday after Thanksgiving until January 2nd.

62 shares on TikTok this month:

You can tell me what you want, but alcohol and eye contact are a dangerous combination.

51 shares on Twitch this month:

Life is just a sequence of missed opportunities.

49 shares on Telegram this month:

Stupidity begins where irony is no longer understood.

77 shares on Reddit this month:

Gonna mess with my husband by texting “send nudes” when he’s in a work meeting.

75 shares on Telegram this month:

One does not simply become a master of karate. First, you must accidentally walk into a spider web.

58 shares on Slack this month:

If you’re looking for another bad decision, I’m here.

69 shares on Instagram this month:

I stay away from beef-flavored cat food. At no point could Sylvia realistically bring down a cow, and I don’t need that kind of ego in the house.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

7 folks are currently checking 👀

My doctor told me I should try anger management classes, and I’m still really pissed at him about it.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

Hired a financial advisor, and his first piece of advice was that I don’t make nearly enough money to justify paying a financial advisor.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

It’s been my experience that people seem a lot nicer before we get married.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

I can already feel that the day is going to seize me instead of the other way around.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

I like my bed more than I like most people.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

Maybe coffee is addicted to me?

22 folks are currently checking 👀

Being single for Valentine’s Day is way better than being in the wrong relationship.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

That awkward moment when someone is doing the dishes, and you slowly put your dish in the sink.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

My keys fell in the snow, and now they’re gone forever — time to start a new life under a new name in a warmer climate.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

Nobody is doing it like me because this is probably not the right way to do it.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,441

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇩🇰 has copied:

Duolingo should have an “I’m going on holiday to this place very soon” setting so it teaches you “can I have the bill” and so on instead of “the cow boils an egg”.

Someone from 🇹🇯 has bookmarked:

I love that cats slap the shit out of everything they can’t understand.

Someone from 🇵🇪 has shared:

I don’t know when people started calling hot dogs ‘glizzys,’ but I hate it, and you all need to stop immediately.

Someone from 🇰🇮 has viewed:

You ever spend the day with a skinny person and are like “ohhhh, that’s why you’re skinny”.

Someone from 🇺🇦 has downloaded:

I miss getting my misinformation from less places.

Someone from 🇸🇦 has shared:

We seriously need to bring back courting. What the hell is ‘wyd tonight?’ Arrive on a horse and bring flowers like a man.

Someone from 🇮🇹 has downloaded:

A perfect metaphor for my life would be “Someone trying to stand up in a hammock.”

Someone from 🇨🇫 has downloaded:

For Halloween I will go to the beach dressed as a french fry and let the seagulls destroy me.

Someone from 🇲🇬 has copied:

Shoutout to drug dealers for teaching the metric system to Americans.

Someone from 🇵🇭 has shared:

You wish you had this many chins.

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Threads:

A man’s home is his castle, but his garage is his sanctuary.

Trending via Slack:

In general, I like company, but not when I am with my pizza.

Shared recently on Snapchat:

Full-time employment will have you making lists of thoughts to think.

Just shared via Discord:

The gossip in my town is faster than the Wi-Fi.

Spotted on Facebook:

I’ve realized there’s more to life than social media, so I guess this is goodbye for the next 12 minutes.

Shared recently on Telegram:

We are gathered here today because our ancestors didn’t have condoms.

Shared recently on Twitch:

Here’s a question for all the mind readers out there.

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

I wanna marry someone funnier than me, but sadly, I am the funniest.

Just landed via WhatsApp:

Before I start seeing a psychiatrist, does anyone like me crazy?

Broadcasted on Instagram:

Dating is the process of meeting someone until you find out what’s wrong with them.

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