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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇫🇯 has shared:

You sound unhinged. Let’s go get mugshots.

Someone from 🇸🇾 has bookmarked:

All my passwords are protected, by my poor memory.

Someone from 🇮🇶 has bookmarked:

I am “any text received after 9pm will be answered at 6am” years old.

Someone from 🇦🇪 has copied:

There’s nothing more satisfying than the little nap you have after hitting snooze on your alarm.

Someone from 🇧🇧 has shared:

I’m so desperate for a vacation that at this point I’d spend an all inclusive week at Jurassic Park.

Someone from 🇵🇦 has viewed:

The good old days, when you didn’t have to charge your watch and it didn’t constantly remind you how fat you were.

Someone from 🇶🇦 has shared:

Not to brag, but my best yoga pose is awkward facing dog.

Someone from 🇧🇦 has shared:

I never argue, I just explain why I’m right.

Someone from 🇨🇫 has bookmarked:

“It’s the most wonderful crime of the year!” I crooned running away with the pot of Santa’s donations.

Someone from 🇧🇿 has copied:

Men don’t eject their eyes from their sockets and yell awooga anymore.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

766 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,928

Funny Quotes Topics

13,901

Funny Quotes Images

10,928

Updated

2 hours ago

Users Online

3,422

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on WeChat:

If they played poker with potato chips, I’d have a gambling problem.

Just shared via Discord:

“You shouldn’t let your cat jump on the counter”, my cat could take out a loan in my name if he wanted to.

Seen just now on Threads:

Every triangle is a love triangle when you love triangles.

Just landed via Pinterest:

My toxic trait is destroying my room every time I get dressed.

Reported on Facebook:

It must be hard for a vampire to floss their fangs when they can’t see their reflection in a mirror.

Freshly posted on TikTok:

Taking a sip of beer and letting out a big “ahhhh” so the pregnant lady at the pool next to me knows what she’s missing.

Just landed via Telegram:

Things can feel really overwhelming. Sometimes days or even weeks can get really hectic. Don’t forget that life is all about getting as much phone time as possible. Never lose sight of that.

Spotted on Reddit:

Maybe women decided to convince men that beards were sexy because they were sick of cleaning the washbasin after he shaved.

Broadcasted on Slack:

My life coach traded me.

Breaking via Snapchat:

Daffodil totally sounds like an insult, you blooming daffodil.

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

766 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,928

Funny Quotes Topics

13,901

Funny Quotes Images

10,928

Updated

2 hours ago

Users Online

3,422

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇩🇲 has downloaded:

Do you ever want sleep but sleep doesn’t want you?

Someone from 🇧🇹 has viewed:

I wish tree puns were more poplar.

Someone from 🇵🇪 has downloaded:

“Sweet Dreams (Are Made of This)” is now 40 years old. If you have an earworm now, you also have back pain.

Someone from 🇹🇲 has viewed:

You have to be careful about sending your spouse things on social media. You send too many things, next thing you know chores are being redistributed because of “all the free time you clearly have”.

Someone from 🇧🇧 has shared:

My goal was to look good in a bikini this summer, but the call of the barbecue is stronger.

Someone from 🇳🇪 has shared:

I will always be hotter than everyone who hates me.

Someone from 🇱🇸 has downloaded:

My four moods: I’m too old for doing that. I’m too tired for doing that. I’m too sober for doing that. I don’t have time for doing that.

Someone from 🇬🇲 has viewed:

Life’s all about crossroads and intersections; unfortunately, I’m a bad driver.

Someone from 🇱🇦 has downloaded:

My step counter doesn’t judge. For him, steps to the fridge are just as valuable as a walk.

Someone from 🇼🇸 has downloaded:

I have found that there is usually a lot of day left at the end of my patience.

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Snapchat:

I love being outside, just not when it’s too cold or too hot or too wet or too windy or if there are bugs.

Seen just now on Reddit:

Mr. Beast is like if they made Dubai into a person.

Going viral on Threads:

I’m shocked it offended you, I was certain someone was gonna need to explain it to you.

Just shared via YouTube:

“Don’t take this the wrong way!” Translation: Prepare for insult.

Shared recently on TikTok:

Being on a diet isn’t so bad if you don’t follow it.

Just shared via Telegram:

As someone who was born in August, I find the word leotard extremely offensive.

Breaking via Facebook:

If craziness could fly, some people would have their own airport.

Spotted on Slack:

My life advice is always the same. Wait for karma, but take up kickboxing, just in case.

Seen just now on Slack:

I call my period Shark week. I want to eat everything, I’m snapping at people, I feel huge, people are scared of me, and there is blood everywhere.

Shared recently on Pinterest:

8 pm to 10 pm on a weeknight is the shortest that two hours can possibly be.

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