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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇹 has downloaded:

I don’t know about you guys, but when I have to make a decision I analyze the situation, evaluate the risk, take measures to limit the consequences and then I completely screw up.

Someone from 🇳🇮 has viewed:

I’m “I can’t sit like that for too long” years old.

Someone from 🇦🇷 has copied:

I just want someone who will treat me like a lady and hold the refrigerator door open for me.

Someone from 🇻🇪 has copied:

Men are very good at being women lately.

Someone from 🇮🇪 has bookmarked:

Nothing brings neighbors together like a few cops cars in front of another neighbor’s house that no one likes.

Someone from 🇦🇷 has viewed:

Memes are the most information-dense form of communication.

Someone from 🇦🇿 has bookmarked:

When I take a shower I’m: 5% cleaning myself, 10% singing, 85% making life changing decisions.

Someone from 🇸🇷 has downloaded:

I have no desire to work now. I had five days off in a row where I dined at a feast and was entertained at a cinema. I have flown too high to return to a laptop.

Someone from 🇸🇴 has viewed:

Packed all my meds into one bottle for a trip and accidentally invented the best trail mix.

Someone from 🇨🇺 has viewed:

Taylor Swift should write a song about when your sleeves keep rolling down every time you wash the dishes.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,273

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Pinterest:

I shaved my legs today and it was the fastest 3lbs I’ve ever lost in my life.

Seen just now on Snapchat:

Twitter is Iike the smoking area for social media.

Shared recently on Slack:

Bird flu? Yeah, they’re known to do that.

Just shared via Messenger:

Job hunting has legitimately been the most demoralizing experience of my life. Nothing else will make you realize how little you can actually do.

Shared recently on Facebook:

Enjoying the consequences of my actions.

Going bananas on Telegram:

I am calling on public libraries to ban the books that I borrowed and lost. We don’t need that kind of crap in the libraries.

Spreading quickly via YouTube:

As you get older, nothing loses its sting more than an authority figure saying they are disappointed in you. Like, I don’t know what to tell you, dude, we can’t both live in the prison of your expectations.

Seen just now on Twitch:

Nowadays you don’t even have to go to the zoo. A trip to the mall is enough.

Seen just now on Slack:

All cars should have a rubber bumper all the way around so we can hit each other.

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

Technically, all restaurants are drive-thru, it just depends how committed to the task you are.

Funny follow up quotes

Funny follow up quotes are the perfect way to keep the conversation alive without sounding pushy 😄✨ Whether you’re chasing that email reply or just checking in with a friend, a clever and witty line can make all the difference 🕵️‍♂️💬 Ready to turn awkward silences into laughter and get those responses rolling? Let’s dive into some playful gems that keep things light and fun! 🎉📬

New funny follow up quotes 👇

All funny follow up quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes
🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

50 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Scooby Doo was a woke-ass show. Every villain was just a landlord trying to scare people off their property so they could sell it.

97 shares on Twitch this month:

Do you ever wish you could just walk away mid-conversation when you’re bored?

69 shares on Instagram this month:

A big shout-out to all the beekeepers. Our unstung heroes.

41 shares on Instagram this month:

For Halloween I will go to the beach dressed as a french fry and let the seagulls destroy me.

21 shares on Discord this month:

My child has entered the “Why?” stage of linguistic development, and I’ve realized I know absolutely nothing.

19 shares on Discord this month:

I set up a Nativity scene, but since baby Jesus hasn’t arrived yet, all the Wise Men are just looking down at their phones.

53 shares on Pinterest this month:

The more I use social media, the more I see why children shouldn’t.

25 shares on Slack this month:

Offering people sitting on the bus my standing room. Like it’s better.

63 shares on WeChat this month:

Every citizen over 18 should be eligible to be drafted into the Postal Service.

79 shares on Instagram this month:

Smile like a monkey with a new banana.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

21 folks are currently checking 👀

Took my car to the mechanic because it was making a terrible noise. He removed the Mariah Carey Christmas CD, and now it’s fine.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

I love icebreakers. They really give me time to anxiously reflect on what the most fun fact about me is, while I don’t listen to anyone else at all.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

Got a job rejection, saw the company post the same job again, so I applied again. I decide when we’re done.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

If you don’t know how many x-rays it takes before a person develops super powers, should you really be in a medical profession?

5 folks are currently checking 👀

My husband said I use a lot of makeup, so I showed him some makeup tutorials on TikTok and I don’t think he’ll be making that mistake again.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

Do the people who make chairs know what humans look like, or nah?

7 folks are currently checking 👀

In my 20’s: I want to find true love. In my 40’s: I just want a toaster that gets me.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

McDonald’s only giving me 9 Chicken Nuggets instead of 10 is how my villain origin story began.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

It’s like my therapist always says, that’ll be $175.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

They said I can never go back to that Vietnamese spot. They banh mi pho life.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,424

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇷🇴 has shared:

I love traveling because I love to check if I have my passport every 3-4 minutes.

Someone from 🇹🇹 has shared:

Honestly, will never top the year I told everyone I was going to be Amelia Earhart for Halloween, and then didn’t show up to the party.

Someone from 🇧🇦 has copied:

Parenting a teenager is surreal because you’ll be sitting there, and some dude who is much taller than you will walk around the corner and ask you how to open a popcorn bag.

Someone from 🇿🇲 has copied:

If history repeats itself, I’m getting a pet dinosaur.

Someone from 🇧🇯 has bookmarked:

Thanksgiving ain’t been the same ever since my uncle pulled that gun out on everybody.

Someone from 🇱🇸 has downloaded:

My wife had a dream that I have a secret second wife named Linda. Now, when she’s mad at me, I just say, “Linda wouldn’t get mad about that.”

Someone from 🇨🇦 has viewed:

Life is short. Make sure you spend as much time as possible on the web arguing with strangers.

Someone from 🇰🇬 has shared:

I am not leaving this house until my hoodie strings are even.

Someone from 🇦🇷 has shared:

Having no one to talk would get you a good sleeping schedule.

Someone from 🇭🇷 has viewed:

Pizza rolls are comfort food because they look like little pillows.

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Twitch:

I thought I had more straws. Sorry, turns out that was the last one.

Trending via YouTube:

The longer I stay home, the more homeless I look.

Just landed via Instagram:

I think they’ve made more Kung-Fu Panda movies in the last 20 years than they’ve made actual pandas.

Trending via Messenger:

Just so you know, what you now call an energy bar is what my father gave the canary.

Making waves on TikTok:

I’ve reached the age where I would rather go to a hardware store than a club.

Trending via Twitch:

I skip questions on exams like I’m gonna be a different person when I come back to them.

Going viral on Snapchat:

I didn’t lose an hour of sleep. The hour of sleep lost me.

Trending via Threads:

I’m pretty sure I fall under the percentage of people who’ve eaten the sticker on the apple.

Seen just now on Slack:

If you see my account doing wild or out-of-character things, no worries. It’s not me, I routinely rent it out as an Airbnb.

Making waves on YouTube:

Got electrocuted while fixing the doorbell, and now I can hear my girlfriend’s thoughts. She’s thinking she should have called an electrician.

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