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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇬 has shared:

Waiting for my wife to approve my new year’s resolution of making independent decisions.

Someone from 🇲🇼 has copied:

My love life feels like when you finally spot an open space in a full parking lot — and then boom, it’s a motorcycle.

Someone from 🇷🇸 has downloaded:

Technically, all restaurants are drive-thru, it just depends how committed to the task you are.

Someone from 🇹🇿 has shared:

Your ex is probably in a relationship, thinking about you.

Someone from 🇸🇲 has viewed:

If Halloween is over, then why am I still scared?

Someone from 🇮🇹 has shared:

You don’t have to write every day to be a writer! You just have to feel guilty every day that you don’t.

Someone from 🇱🇷 has downloaded:

Heelys don’t have brakes because my swag rides forever.

Someone from 🇩🇲 has bookmarked:

I’ve got a headache, and it’s affecting my entire future.

Someone from 🇵🇬 has copied:

It was a tough year, but at least I did not buy a Labubu.

Someone from 🇧🇸 has copied:

Normalize arguing with plants who refuse to stay alive.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,324

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on LinkedIn:

Them: You post a lot. What am I supposed to do here – fold laundry on the timeline?

Seen just now on Messenger:

Your honor, I was under the impression it was hammer time.

Going viral on Facebook:

I know Jesus was a carpenter, but I think he would’ve been a better plumber, you know, with the water thing.

Freshly posted on Reddit:

Name a better duo than sad and depressed.

Going viral on YouTube:

Telling men I have a boyfriend doesn’t chase them away anymore, so I’ve started telling them I have a child.

Trending via Messenger:

Prison pen pal doesn’t want us to write each other anymore. Finds my life too depressing.

Making waves on Messenger:

“You should exercise for at least 30 minutes every day”. Okay, and how much if you’re not trying to go to the Olympics?

Seen just now on TikTok:

I assume people who bookmark my posts are building a case against me.

Seen just now on Twitch:

I’m full of rage, but in a very chill and nonchalant way.

Broadcasted on Twitch:

I just lost all my tabs. Only now do I understand the tragedy that was the burning of the Library of Alexandria.

Funny funny event quotes

Funny funny event quotes are the secret sauce to turning any gathering into a laugh-out-loud fiesta! 🎉😂 Whether you’re hosting a party, wedding, or casual hangout, these witty lines bring joy, spark smiles, and keep the good vibes rolling. 😄✨ Get ready to sprinkle some humor and make memories that everyone will be talking about long after the event ends! 🎈🎤 #GoodTimes #LaughOutLoud

New funny funny event quotes 👇

All funny funny event quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes
🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

61 shares on X this month:

It’s a good thing that not everyone has a smartphone. We also need people who honk when the lights turn green.

38 shares on WeChat this month:

If kids these days had a perfume, it would be called Audacity.

50 shares on Twitch this month:

Would have started saving money in kindergarten if I knew my life was like this.

74 shares on Instagram this month:

Thank you for contacting the abyss. Your scream is very important to us.

72 shares on Reddit this month:

Anyone who says he can see through women is missing a lot.

50 shares on Pinterest this month:

Need to clean the fridge, so I’m going to do the responsible thing and drink wine instead.

25 shares on Facebook this month:

December turns me into someone who believes a fat man with a beard can fix everything.

58 shares on X this month:

There’s someone in our team who behaves horribly to me and whenever I have to type his name, I’ve taken to using a slightly smaller font size than for everyone else’s.

14 shares on Snapchat this month:

I’m going to write a book about all the things I should have done with my life. l’ll call it my oughtabiography.

39 shares on TikTok this month:

It was so windy today when I was walking to the gym that I got blown into the wine store.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

7 folks are currently checking 👀

How to have flat stomach: remove all of your organs.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

I don’t even know what I’d do if a sailor called me a landlubber. I’d probably lose my cool.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

If you tell me to make myself at home, I’m going to ask you to leave.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

Roman soldiers are all like “I’m going to fight you in this short yet tasteful leather skirt.”

14 folks are currently checking 👀

You didn’t get fired, your job “fumbled you”.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

These weekends are starting to feel as long as a lunch break.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

Technically mixed martial arts can include tickle fighting.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

You’re over 35. Better go pee before you leave, pee when you get there, pee while you’re there, and pee before you leave.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

Does the HDMI cord have the most dominant run of any cord ever?

15 folks are currently checking 👀

They hooked up tubes and sensors, but the doctor still can’t figure out why my kisses are so sweet. They want to hold me overnight and “never let go.”

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,456

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇯🇴 has downloaded:

Blood pressure too high to chase these hoes.

Someone from 🇦🇹 has downloaded:

Sorry I’m late. I was scraping the clearance tag off your Christmas present.

Someone from 🇧🇷 has copied:

I am on a diet where you just speak Italian: “Pasta,” “Pizza,” and “I’m leaving Rooma for dessert.”

Someone from 🇷🇴 has bookmarked:

My wife and I always eat dinner as fast as possible so we can have a popsicle.

Someone from 🇨🇩 has shared:

Weekends are getting shorter and shorter. You blink and it’s already Sunday 5pm.

Someone from 🇧🇷 has viewed:

Coolest part about starting a new job is the immunity to disease you get for 3 months till you get sick days.

Someone from 🇯🇲 has shared:

“Have AI summarize this email for you!” No thanks, I can read what the person actually said in the way they intended.

Someone from 🇨🇬 has shared:

The problem with rich people is that I am not one.

Someone from 🇻🇨 has bookmarked:

I’m not always a couch potato. For instance, right now I’m a chair potato, and later I’ll be a bed potato.

Someone from 🇰🇳 has viewed:

People say “I would never,” then here they come nevering like they never nevered before.

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Instagram:

A dinosaur as a pet would solve so many problems. Mainly, people problems.

Breaking via Snapchat:

Centaurs can’t wipe their asses.

Shared recently on Instagram:

On the whole, people are getting smarter. I remember when they had to put “The End” on the screen, so people would know the movie was over.

Just landed via Reddit:

Miso soup is such a silly name, like “Yes, you so soup.”

Going bananas on X:

Mom asked me what I was drinking the first time I got drunk and I said “breast milk” and now she’s not talking to me.

Going bananas on YouTube:

WW3: I can’t fire my weapon unless I first watch a 15-second unskippable ad for Raid Shadow Legends.

Live now on Twitch:

Self-esteem’s so bad my fantasies are hurting my feelings.

Just shared via Twitch:

Male birth control is free, and it’s called wearing Crocs with socks.

Freshly posted on Slack:

In a parallel universe, there’s a happy me.

Shared recently on Twitch:

I just cleaned the house top to bottom, so now I’m gonna need everybody to stop living here.

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