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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇭 has shared:

My trauma is between me and this bartender. The rest of you, mind your business.

Someone from 🇬🇼 has shared:

If swimming is such good exercise, explain whales.

Someone from 🇪🇨 has shared:

Making art is making love to the world.

Someone from 🇼🇸 has copied:

Give it to me straight, doc, what can I do to be healthier besides changing my entire lifestyle?

Someone from 🇧🇼 has copied:

People be like, “I’m a work in progress” and never make any progress.

Someone from 🇸🇻 has bookmarked:

Netflix had enough cash to buy Warner Bros., but cried poor when we shared passwords with our mom.

Someone from 🇹🇳 has viewed:

Dude, we’re gonna be treating others how we want to be treated later if you wanna pull up.

Someone from 🇲🇬 has shared:

My dad thought Siri would be more helpful finding a lemon ricotta recipe if he used an Italian accent.

Someone from 🇲🇱 has viewed:

My favorite Christmas Eve tradition is the one where I tell my kids we have to get the house spotless, or Santa won’t come.

Someone from 🇱🇷 has bookmarked:

When you have bad handwriting, notes to yourself are just fun little mysteries you get to solve later on.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,569

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Pinterest:

You can get addicted to a certain kind of swagness.

Going viral on Slack:

Nightmares are so embarrassing. Why is my anxiety working the night shift?

Spotted on Threads:

My biggest fear about becoming a zombie is all the walking that I’d have to do.

Making waves on WeChat:

If you’re going through hell, keep going.

Breaking via Facebook:

My goal weight is getting a magician to saw me in half.

Going viral on Reddit:

Reverse cowgirl so he doesn’t see the double chin.

Going bananas on YouTube:

Combining breakfast and lunch: Brunch. Combining wine and dinner: Winner.

Going bananas on TikTok:

What does my tattoo mean? It means I couldn’t be trusted with $200 when I was 18.

Trending via WeChat:

I deserve a dragon after all I’ve been through.

Spotted on WeChat:

I don’t want kids, but I do want grandkids. Hoping science finds a way.

Funny hotel room quotes

New funny hotel room quotes 👇

All funny hotel room quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Random Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

71 shares on Telegram this month:

Dating after 40 is like trying to find the least damaged item at the thrift store that doesn’t smell.

57 shares on LinkedIn this month:

How does world hunger exist when we can fry air?

13 shares on Discord this month:

If you live in the same hemisphere as me, you’ve probably already heard me sneeze.

41 shares on Facebook this month:

Maybe there’s an alternate universe where onions cry when they chop up humans, you don’t know.

95 shares on Reddit this month:

Happiness is having a large, caring, close-knit family in another city.

16 shares on TikTok this month:

I caught two kids smoking pot outside my office. Fifteen minutes later, my boss caught me and two kids smoking pot outside my office.

20 shares on Twitch this month:

I’ve realized that some people don’t like me, but I’ve also realized that I don’t give a shit.

61 shares on Instagram this month:

The greatest allies fascism and genocide have are the people who say, “I don’t follow the news, it’s too depressing.”

99 shares on Discord this month:

Cats have 32 muscles in each ear, to help them ignore you.

27 shares on Messenger this month:

Yesterday I went to a fight and a baseball game broke out.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

15 folks are currently checking 👀

The question of whether an employer values its employees is sometimes answered by the toilet paper.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

Weekends now feel like short commercial breaks in a stressful movie.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

Funny that the Three Wise Men brought probably the three worst presents for a newborn baby.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

Unpopular opinion: Landlords should not be able to increase rent unless they’re upgrading the apartment.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

The older I get, the more I love my morning coffee and no one speaking to me.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

I just want to be treated like a hot little French fry.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

Did you get that psychic damage I sent you?

7 folks are currently checking 👀

If this meeting were any slower, it’d be a landscape painting.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

Not being able to fall asleep is so embarrassing. All I’m asking my brain to do is nothing and it can’t even do that?

20 folks are currently checking 👀

Lord of the Rings is a story about a brave little Hobbit on a mission to destroy a ring and save the world, and his annoying friend Frodo.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,569

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇳 has bookmarked:

They won’t teach you this in school, but life is all about going to weird little diners.

Someone from 🇲🇲 has bookmarked:

To bed then. To bed with you! Guards, take him to my bed!

Someone from 🇸🇲 has copied:

Feminism convinced women they could have it all. Now they’re 40, independent, and crying in a very nice but empty apartment.

Someone from 🇰🇷 has shared:

My mom asked me to hand out invitations for my brother’s surprise birthday party, and that’s when I realized he was the favorite twin.

Someone from 🇹🇬 has copied:

Can’t, trying to piece together today’s news from social media posts.

Someone from 🇪🇷 has bookmarked:

One of the hardest things to do as an adult is to go back to work after a long weekend.

Someone from 🇦🇪 has copied:

I hate math, but I love counting money.

Someone from 🇸🇾 has downloaded:

A McRib killed my tapeworm.

Someone from 🇰🇮 has bookmarked:

The future is buffering.

Someone from 🇦🇸 has downloaded:

Just paid rent. Now I have a place to starve in.

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Twitch:

The sound of rain outside when you’re in bed is elite.

Trending via Threads:

Just realised if I have a kid, they’re likely to see the year 2100… WTF?

Going viral on WeChat:

Babe, are you okay? You’ve barely responded to my telepathic messages.

Going bananas on Threads:

My superpower is giving you the middle finger using my eyes only.

Going bananas on Telegram:

God doesn’t do nearly enough smiting anymore.

Making waves on Twitch:

You ever notice how when you get home from food shopping, the kids turn into airport security?

Freshly posted on Telegram:

I hate it when what’s wrong asks me what’s wrong.

Trending via X:

Parenting is cheering on your kid’s winning softball team all weekend and then cheering on the Sunday rain for cancelling the rest of the games.

Going bananas on Instagram:

By the time I remember to text back, it be too disrespectful to even do it.

Spotted on LinkedIn:

Posing for photos has to be the most basic thing I’m actually terrible at.

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