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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇾 has viewed:

Life is what happens in between trips to the fridge.

Someone from 🇱🇺 has shared:

Enjoy the time between diapers!

Someone from 🇦🇪 has viewed:

I want a restraining order on everyone who doesn’t wear deodorant.

Someone from 🇩🇯 has shared:

I’m scared to go to an art museum, because what if they decide to keep me?

Someone from 🇸🇩 has downloaded:

All I’m dealing with is broken people. Lord, if I’m a mechanic, please tell me.

Someone from 🇩🇴 has shared:

The first Humans saw the sun go up and then back down, and so they decided to call it a day.

Someone from 🇹🇩 has bookmarked:

I’ve got nothing against kids, I just don’t understand why you’d want indoor kids.

Someone from 🇬🇹 has copied:

Another beautiful day, ruined by responsibility.

Someone from 🇪🇸 has viewed:

I just wanna be rich enough to not have to run onstage after concerts to get my bra back.

Someone from 🇹🇱 has downloaded:

Horse girls and cat ladies get all the attention, but what about crow women?

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

791 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,953

Funny Quotes Topics

13,925

Funny Quotes Images

10,953

Updated

26 minutes ago

Users Online

3,424

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Slack:

Notice how ghosts never wear fitted sheets?

Freshly posted on Slack:

I bought all this healthy food at the grocery store today and now I’m trying to decide if I want Chinese food or pizza delivered for dinner tonight.

Making waves on YouTube:

Dates are weird, like, okay I guess I’ll dress up for my romantic interview.

Live now on X:

My favorite part about going camping is the part where I stay at home, and I don’t go camping.

Seen just now on YouTube:

I’m a bit of a traditionalist, so on my birthday, I smear my body with embryonic fluid.

Just landed via Threads:

I successfully avoided the red-eye flight and got the much milder pink eye flight.

Going viral on Messenger:

Socks try to be monogamous but most end up either single or having multiple different partners.

Making waves on Messenger:

My superpower is to make anyone I wanna make comfortable feel uncomfortable.

Freshly posted on Slack:

Silicon Valley has taken over the world. Remember when nerds had the good manners to be ashamed of themselves?

Just shared via Discord:

If you scroll Twitter long enough, you too can burn calories by shaking your head.

Home » Funny Housekeeper Quotes

Funny housekeeper quotes

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All funny housekeeper quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes
Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media need people procrastination relationship sarcasm social someone technology time want work

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

791 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,953

Funny Quotes Topics

13,925

Funny Quotes Images

10,953

Updated

26 minutes ago

Users Online

3,431

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇴 has shared:

Sometimes, after I’ve completed a task that wasn’t on my to-do list, I’ll add it and then cross it off for the free dopamine boost.

Someone from 🇲🇰 has shared:

Due to inflation, alien abduction no longer comes with free probes. Humans are required to bring their own probes or may purchase a probe on board the spacecraft for a moderate fee.

Someone from 🇧🇳 has downloaded:

I would rather walk directly into the ocean than tell people a fun fact about myself.

Someone from 🇼🇸 has downloaded:

Do you know how much trauma it took to be this funny?

Someone from 🇱🇷 has viewed:

Whoever named the meatball absolutely nailed it.

Someone from 🇨🇺 has shared:

Don’t worry, better days are coming. They are called Friday, Saturday and Sunday.

Someone from 🇰🇿 has copied:

I see why history can repeat itself. People are really stupid.

Someone from 🇮🇩 has copied:

Never understood when the movie rating says “May contain nudity.” Are there people on the ratings board who aren’t sure if they just saw someone naked?

Someone from 🇮🇹 has copied:

Twitter is great because you can get good life advice from other emotionally unstable adults.

Someone from 🇻🇳 has downloaded:

I am not someone you have to host if you invite me, because I will have canceled.

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Pinterest:

How to write complaints: “Dear customer service, first of all, you should know that I am typing this with my middle finger.”

Broadcasted on YouTube:

Let the good times roll. Let the bad times crawl. Let the acceptable times do the hopscotch.

Spotted on Twitch:

The perfect job for me would be the person staining things for detergent commercials.

Just shared via Slack:

If a zombie and vampire bite each other, who turns who?

Spreading quickly via LinkedIn:

I’m a people pleaser, unless you don’t like that. Then I’m not.

Live now on Facebook:

It’s so foggy outside. Y’all gotta stop vaping.

Making waves on Slack:

I just come here for the free life advice and inspirational quotes from people who’s lives are complete train wrecks.

Just landed via YouTube:

The adult version of “head, shoulders, knees and toes” is “wallet, glasses, keys and phone.”

Making waves on Slack:

I’ve reached the age where my train of thought often leaves the station without me.

Trending via Pinterest:

I don’t always listen to Metallica, but when I do, so do my neighbors.

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