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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇧 has bookmarked:

And for my next trick, I’ll set your soul on fire.

Someone from 🇹🇿 has shared:

I went for an interview at IKEA. The manager greeted me by saying “come in, make a seat”.

Someone from 🇲🇼 has copied:

It’s weird how the UFO’s always seem to crash in places that only the government and military have access to.

Someone from 🇲🇰 has shared:

Since I tolerate gluten and lactose well, I can afford a few intolerances in the interpersonal area.

Someone from 🇨🇷 has shared:

I’m looking forward to tomorrow. It’ll be much like today, but different enough to confuse me.

Someone from 🇵🇪 has viewed:

My housemates are convinced our house is haunted. I’ve lived here for 274 years and not noticed anything strange.

Someone from 🇨🇳 has viewed:

We should all start texting each other like old time explorers. ‘Dearest friend, I have survived another week. The horrors persist.’

Someone from 🇦🇫 has viewed:

Welcome to adulthood: you’re not exhausted, you’re just awake. Have a nice day.

Someone from 🇬🇩 has viewed:

Can anyone recommend some good behaviors for someone who just started behaving?

Someone from 🇦🇲 has viewed:

Why’s it always “NYC smells like pee” and never “my pee smells like the greatest city in the world”?

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

1833 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

11,995

Funny Quotes Topics

14,796

Funny Quotes Images

11,995

Updated

4 minutes ago

Users Online

3,451

Social Media Log 💫

Spreading quickly via Reddit:

I successfully avoided the red-eye flight and got the much milder pink eye flight.

Live now on Slack:

Standing like a flamingo at my kitchen counter eating watermelon is such a vibe.

Breaking via Discord:

Wanted to report a YouTube video, but there is no option for “Cringe”, so I just picked “Terrorism”.

Shared recently on Reddit:

I hope Instagram is still active during the apocalypse, so the zombies can post pics of whose brains they’re currently eating.

Spotted on Discord:

I don’t understand the desire to rock climb. We have stairs for that now. Problem solved.

Seen just now on Twitch:

In honor of the last eclipse, I will also get in the way of someone brighter than me.

Just landed via Telegram:

How is rent for 28 days the same amount as for 31 days? Where is my change?

Going viral on Discord:

After all these years, Jude Law has finally noticed me and responded to my love letters. Something about staying 500 feet away. I’m getting it framed.

Reported on Pinterest:

I would like to thank my arms for always being by my side. My legs for always supporting me. And my fingers because I can always count on them.

Making waves on YouTube:

I would like you to meet my significant other. Her name is Cheese.

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Funny human history quotes

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

1833 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

11,995

Funny Quotes Topics

14,796

Funny Quotes Images

11,995

Updated

4 minutes ago

Users Online

3,452

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇿 has bookmarked:

I look so pretty today. I should go for a walk and let the people enjoy this.

Someone from 🇰🇳 has viewed:

You have one week to ask me to be your Valentine. Requests must be in the form of poetic verse written in your blood.

Someone from 🇺🇦 has shared:

Do clouds ever look down on us and say, “This one is shaped like an idiot”?

Someone from 🇵🇰 has downloaded:

Ever since I was a little girl, I knew I wanted to cancel plans.

Someone from 🇿🇲 has copied:

My wife is refusing to bring me a beer. That’s it, gonna text her and say “I cannot believe how lazy you are”.

Someone from 🇯🇲 has copied:

Rise and grind your teeth gently while ruminating over every past mistake.

Someone from 🇰🇳 has shared:

If I was ever told to “dress to impress”, my first thought would be to get the Batman suit out.

Someone from 🇻🇺 has viewed:

Why do birds love going apeshit first thing in the morning?

Someone from 🇨🇫 has viewed:

My account is fake, I’m actually your probation officer.

Someone from 🇧🇬 has viewed:

Problematic bed time gap relationship.

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Pinterest:

Some people avoid bacon for the sake of religion. I avoid religion for the sake of bacon.

Spreading quickly via WeChat:

Any fool can criticize, condemn and complain, and most do.

Going viral on Slack:

Oh, lord. I brought my mouth with me to work today and it’s all sass. Prayers, please.

Going viral on Messenger:

That pile of clothes on my bed, seems to have strange powers and gets higher on its own.

Freshly posted on TikTok:

The only talent I have is spending more than I bring in.

Broadcasted on Reddit:

The Bible is 100% accurate when thrown at close range.

Just landed via Telegram:

Therapy isn’t enough. I need to be electrocuted and get my memory erased.

Spotted on TikTok:

Can I come over and crawl around on you like a bug?

Breaking via Telegram:

Finally figured out why I look so bad in pictures – it’s my face.

Spreading quickly via YouTube:

I smoke weed for my mental health and your personal safety.

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