Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇩 has copied:

There is always enough for the needy, there is never enough for the greedy.

Someone from 🇦🇸 has viewed:

Everyone is a genius until they try to use someone else’s microwave.

Someone from 🇵🇦 has downloaded:

A lot of people think you need a lot of money to buy clothes. And they’re right.

Someone from 🇮🇹 has downloaded:

AI could never replace me, you can’t put this much self-loathing into a machine.

Someone from 🇨🇫 has shared:

I can’t work under these festive conditions.

Someone from 🇴🇲 has downloaded:

If life has taught me one thing, it’s that I need more money.

Someone from 🇸🇬 has downloaded:

Girl math is avoiding shipping costs by buying more.

Someone from 🇸🇿 has viewed:

Life always has it’s ups and downs. I like to up the music, down the drinks, and then relax and enjoy.

Someone from 🇨🇻 has bookmarked:

Maybe if I spend another day alone in my room then something life-changing will suddenly happen to me!?

Someone from 🇱🇧 has viewed:

Sometimes, before bedtime, I fall asleep on the couch. It’s my little sleep appetizer… my nappetizer.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,606

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Slack:

Imagine buying a new car, and some superhero throws it at an alien.

Just landed via Twitch:

I’m not lazy, I’m waiting for inspiration to hit me… should be here any time now.

Breaking via TikTok:

If I’m ever mad at you, just talk to me in a sweeter and softer tone, and watch how quickly that anger disappears.

Making waves on TikTok:

There should be a Jaws sequel where the shark finally gets arrested for his crimes and goes to jail.

Spreading quickly via WeChat:

My favorite part of parenting is when the kids are bored enough to entertain themselves, but getting to that point is excruciating.

Live now on Telegram:

I’m not drunk enough for this Teams meeting.

Going bananas on Pinterest:

I don’t run from my problems. I sit on my couch, play on my phone, and ignore them like all other adults.

Breaking via Messenger:

What would boomers do without their paper shredder?

Spotted on TikTok:

Real lovers are currently single, by the way.

Live now on Reddit:

Graduation advice: Stay cool. Don’t be a fool. Avoid being a tool.

Funny intimidation quotes

Funny intimidation quotes bring a hilarious twist to the art of scaring someone off 😈😂. Perfect for adding a sprinkle of humor to those moments when you want to look fierce without taking things too seriously 💥😜. Whether you’re aiming to lighten the mood or just have a laugh, these witty lines pack a punch with a smile 😏🔥. Get ready to intimidate with style and a side of giggles! 🎉👊

New funny intimidation quotes 👇

All funny intimidation quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes
🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

61 shares on Discord this month:

People don’t catch bullets with their teeth anymore, get out there and practice.

71 shares on Twitch this month:

Not gonna lie, to this day, I don’t know the difference between gray and grey, I just wing it.

82 shares on Threads this month:

I’m a freak in the spreadsheets.

40 shares on WeChat this month:

She said she liked animals but apparently all the fruit flies around my apartment was a “turn off”

37 shares on Messenger this month:

“Bluetooth or Insane?” is a fun game we all play when we see a lone person speaking out loud in public.

71 shares on Slack this month:

Water is a drink whose flavor is its temperature.

77 shares on Messenger this month:

If you think one of my posts is about you, it isn’t. Except this one.

64 shares on Instagram this month:

I wasn’t feeling well so I googled my symptoms. I either have allergies or I died two days ago.

74 shares on Twitch this month:

Happy new fear!

40 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Wife asked if I could stop singing Wonderwall. I said maybe…

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

9 folks are currently checking 👀

None of the Instagram story fonts represent me.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

I think I’m closer to retirement than to a relationship.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

‘Tis the season to wrap objects in colorful paper with the fine motor skills of a T-Rex.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

Don’t hate me because I can fall asleep within seconds; hate me because I can sleep through the night without having to get up to go to the bathroom.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

I was at the cemetery when a little kid walked up to me and said she was afraid. I took her hand and told her that I used to be afraid too… when I was alive.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

If you’re having a good day today, don’t play Wordle.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

You don’t have to write every day to be a writer! You just have to feel guilty every day that you don’t.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

Panda bears are proof that it’s okay to be kind of an idiot as long as you’re super adorable.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

According to my calculations, we’re all screwed.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

Delightful if true: booby trap.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,594

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇺 has shared:

Not everyone realizes this, but if you clean the pile of receipts out of a purse and stack them together, it makes a teeny tiny book about why you’re broke.

Someone from 🇱🇧 has bookmarked:

I love when kids tell me what they want to be when they grow up, because I’m still looking for ideas.

Someone from 🇩🇪 has bookmarked:

Never feel bad when people roll their eyes while you talk to them. They’re just looking for their brain.

Someone from 🇲🇹 has downloaded:

“I made this with AI.” Yeah, we can tell.

Someone from 🇵🇪 has downloaded:

Sometimes all you need is a Saturday to sleep, eat, and do absolutely nothing else all day.

Someone from 🇧🇭 has copied:

You’re in his DMs, so am I, but I am way funnier.

Someone from 🇦🇿 has bookmarked:

It’s obvious now that democracy is a busted flush and that in future politicians should be selected via several rigorous rounds of Taskmaster.

Someone from 🇵🇪 has bookmarked:

I don’t know what kind of sex makes y’all want a joint bank account, but I ain’t had it yet.

Someone from 🇸🇱 has bookmarked:

Responding to all selfies with “this should work.”

Someone from 🇪🇨 has downloaded:

What’s your favorite song about a white boy playing funky music?

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Snapchat:

Shutting up is gluten-free. Maybe add that to your diet, princess.

Spotted on WhatsApp:

I caught your husband cheating on you at an Alanis concert, and thought you, you, you oughta know.

Just shared via Twitch:

I literally never want to be the bigger person again. We can both go to hell.

Breaking via Instagram:

My burning question is who thought a two day weekend would suffice the human body.

Shared recently on Reddit:

Balloons are so weird. “Happy birthday, here’s a plastic sack of my breath.”

Just shared via WeChat:

Bison may look friend-shaped, but they already have all the friends they want. Keep your distance and don’t make it awkward.

Seen just now on WeChat:

Your coworkers are your friends; stop working and hang out.

Freshly posted on Messenger:

It’s almost time to put away my black summer clothes and bring out my black fall clothes.

Just shared via LinkedIn:

I love being an adult and sitting absolutely still and suddenly I’ve hurt my neck somehow.

Going viral on Discord:

When the gun shoots your brain, that’s amore.

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