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Updated: Mar 13, 2026

 

 

 

 

Funny James Bond quotes

Funny James Bond quotes will have you shaking, not stirred, with laughter! πŸŽ‰ From suave one-liners to cheeky comebacks, 007’s wit is just as sharp as his spy skills πŸ•΅οΈβ€β™‚οΈπŸ’₯ Ready to add some secret agent humor to your day? Get ready to smile like Bond on a mission – because even spies need a good laugh! 😎🍸 #BondHumor #ShakenNotStirred

James Bond really accurately predicted that the biggest threat to life on Earth is super-rich businessmen, whose money didn’t make them happy, and now their hobby is destroying the world.

Posted onFeb 3, 2026

Daniel Craig leaving Bond to become Benoit Blanc is one of the best things to ever happen.

Posted onJan 31, 2026

I think the world is ready for a fat James Bond.

Posted onJan 31, 2026

The most incredible thing about James Bond is the way he can walk into any hotel room and immediately know how to use the shower.

Posted onJan 28, 2026

The next James Bond should be weird. Like he wears a train conductor’s hat and is afraid of balloons.

Posted onJan 22, 2026

I appreciate the interest, but I’m officially removing myself from the running to be the next James Bond. Thank you for your understanding.

Posted onJan 19, 2026

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