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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇹 has shared:

I haven’t had sex in so long, I forgot how to moan, what if I mess up and bark?

Someone from 🇲🇾 has shared:

You just can’t live a full life on an empty stomach.

Someone from 🇱🇮 has viewed:

As soon as the sun comes back out, I want a beer. It’s science.

Someone from 🇲🇼 has viewed:

My husband saw a rabbit in our yard eating grass and said “That would be like sitting in a field of french fries.”

Someone from 🇲🇩 has copied:

What’s my net worth? Buddy, I don’t own a net.

Someone from 🇸🇳 has viewed:

Is this simulation from Temu?

Someone from 🇲🇼 has viewed:

Do you ever cycle through the same 4 apps on your phone over and over again, and feel like a tiger pacing its cage at the zoo?

Someone from 🇭🇳 has viewed:

I’ve learned two important things in life, I can’t remember the first one, but the second one is to write everything down.

Someone from 🇧🇳 has downloaded:

Bon Jovi must be at least 3/4 of the way there by now.

Someone from 🇧🇸 has viewed:

Instead of saying “Good morning,” my wife and I go straight into explanations of how badly we each slept.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,402

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Slack:

Being gracefully unhinged is the only way to get through the everyday bullshit.

Shared recently on Snapchat:

Tweeting with no audience feels like screaming jokes into a cornfield.

Freshly posted on TikTok:

My girlfriend confided in me she loves when I blow air on her when she’s hot, but honestly, I’m not a fan.

Broadcasted on Pinterest:

Stop blaming everyone for all of your problems. Pick the one person you really hate and blame them for everything.

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

I get you, bowel syndrome. I’m irritable, too.

Shared recently on Slack:

Not to brag, but I just stood up without making a sound. Don’t be jealous.

Seen just now on Messenger:

“Still gangsta” I whisper to myself as I drink my chamomile tea with a heating pad on my back.

Making waves on Pinterest:

The problem with salad is, it’s salad.

Spreading quickly via Snapchat:

Uh oh, said somethin’ weird. Better fix it by saying something even weirder.

Just shared via LinkedIn:

It got weird when I thought both arm rests at the movie theatre were mine.

Funny Jersey quotes

Funny Jersey quotes bring the perfect mix of humor and hometown pride to your wardrobe 🤩🏀 Whether you’re hitting the game or just showing off that Garden State swag, these witty lines will have everyone laughing and nodding in agreement 😂🔥 Get ready to sport some seriously clever vibes that scream Jersey attitude with a side of fun! 🌟💬

New funny Jersey quotes 👇

All funny Jersey quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes
🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

38 shares on Twitch this month:

When life gives you lemons, squirt someone in the eye.

97 shares on WeChat this month:

To cut the long story short, I have spent all my money.

30 shares on Telegram this month:

No LinkedIn, I am not “open to work,” I am required to work.

15 shares on Threads this month:

I’m either freezing, peeing, or starving.

21 shares on Instagram this month:

I could tell by the way she was pouring gasoline on a pile of my clothes that the relationship had hit some turbulence.

54 shares on Reddit this month:

Our phones fall, we panic. Our friends fall, we laugh.

38 shares on TikTok this month:

Oxygen was discovered in 1773. How did our ancestors breathe before then?

57 shares on TikTok this month:

Actually, men should take the pill. It makes more sense to unload the gun than to shoot at a bulletproof vest.

66 shares on Reddit this month:

That awkward moment when someone keeps watching you while you are eating.

48 shares on YouTube this month:

I used to be cool, but now I just can’t wait to get on the couch by 7 p.m., in my pajamas, with a quilted blanket.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

18 folks are currently checking 👀

Sometimes, I wonder what my life would be like if I had a good haircut.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

That uncle or aunt who kept their distance from the rest of the family will start making more sense as you get older.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

I don’t understand why my husband has to pay for a UFC fight when he could just throw one piece of candy on the floor in front of our kids.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

Twitter is evidence that insane people can be extremely entertaining from a safe distance.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

Autocorrect is like a tiny person inside your phone that sometimes gets drunk and says the dumbest things.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

The sexual tension between me and the person I’m not supposed to have any sexual tension with.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

I wish that reading books in the park were my job, and I got paid six figures for it.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

Sometimes, before bedtime, I fall asleep on the couch. It’s my little sleep appetizer… my nappetizer.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

It sucks when you have to stand on an escalator for 30 minutes because of a power cut.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

Apparently there is a bird fight club who holds their meetings outside my window at about 5am.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,421

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇬 has viewed:

My sister: snowboards. My brother: skateboards. Me: charcuterie boards.

Someone from 🇱🇺 has bookmarked:

Yes, money alone does not make you happy. It has to be yours too.

Someone from 🇧🇬 has viewed:

I love replying to people within seconds. Hello. I am here. Always.

Someone from 🇸🇲 has shared:

No one is more stressed than someone who has seen their potential and knows they aren’t living up to it.

Someone from 🇧🇳 has viewed:

I’m begging for a day to be added in between Saturday and Sunday.

Someone from 🇧🇧 has viewed:

I’m so single. When they ask me for an emergency contact, I put the neighbor’s dog.

Someone from 🇰🇿 has bookmarked:

On Twitter, you will always find someone who is tweeting your thoughts but with better grammar.

Someone from 🇮🇱 has copied:

I told myself I’d behave today. Then I saw my reflection and thought, maybe tomorrow.

Someone from 🇲🇰 has copied:

My sleeping pattern isn’t even a pattern anymore. It’s a lifestyle.

Someone from 🇩🇪 has downloaded:

Don’t think of it as losing followers, think of it as frustrating bots to the point they go away.

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Facebook:

Oh good. Another day.

Seen just now on Telegram:

Tailgating me while I’m going 90 in a 45 is crazy. And those red and blue lights on top of your car look stupid, btw, lol.

Spreading quickly via Messenger:

Putting away the Christmas tree. Sad day for cats.

Trending via LinkedIn:

The good old days, when you didn’t have to charge your watch and it didn’t constantly remind you how fat you were.

Spotted on Twitch:

I see stand-up comedy as a stepping stone to television. A few more paid gigs and I’ll be able to afford a television.

Shared recently on WeChat:

Any room can be a panic room if you just give me a second.

Just landed via WeChat:

Can’t stand when I’m determined to see something in a negative light, and somebody offers a different, healthier perspective. I already made up my mind to be upset. Don’t be rude.

Shared recently on WeChat:

If you ever find yourself mad at me, put a cape on so you can be super mad.

Seen just now on TikTok:

If they treat you like an option, leave them like a choice, and make your exit as dramatic as a Netflix season finale.

Just landed via Snapchat:

I hate when I finish a show and don’t know what to do with my life.

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