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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇺 has copied:

Money can’t buy happiness, until you’re on vacation and then you realize it definitely can.

Someone from 🇹🇼 has viewed:

When Hulk wrecks shit he’s “incredible.” When I do it I’m “causing a scene” and “need to leave this place immediately.”

Someone from 🇲🇿 has downloaded:

Can someone please invent 8 hours between 9 p.m. and midnight?

Someone from 🇳🇱 has copied:

One day you’re young and carefree and the next you sneeze too hard and hurt your neck.

Someone from 🇵🇼 has shared:

Nonchalant men are not for me. I want mine to have a panic attack if we’re not talking.

Someone from 🇸🇳 has bookmarked:

A bathrobe is being naked with plausible deniability and pockets.

Someone from 🇦🇪 has viewed:

I wouldn’t trust a single one of you with a flying car.

Someone from 🇲🇦 has shared:

Hungry me has no respect for bathroom scale me.

Someone from 🇸🇹 has viewed:

Sorry, I just saw your text from last night. Are you guys still at the restaurant?

Someone from 🇵🇹 has viewed:

Pouring rain, football on TV, empty house; the stuff dreams are made of.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,780

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Threads:

I’d pretend to care about football for you.

Breaking via LinkedIn:

When pregnant women are around, watch what you say. Nowadays, anything will be used as a name.

Spotted on X:

I was born tired, and I will die tired. If I ever tell you I’m not tired, I’m probably lying.

Just landed via Slack:

My boss wants me to train some other employees so it’s pretty obvious he has no idea I am completely incompetent.

Just shared via Instagram:

If you respond to my sarcasm with better sarcasm, then I might just catch feelings.

Shared recently on Pinterest:

I put the mess in domestic.

Trending via Instagram:

Laptops become possessed with slowness when they see that you are in a hurry.

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

Jan 1st: Avocado on whole grain toast with a protein shake. Jan 20th: Syrup comes from a tree so technically it’s a vegetable.

Freshly posted on Facebook:

Sleep is a free trial of death but with ads.

Going viral on WhatsApp:

Victor Frankenstein being only 23 years old when he made the monster is crazy to me, he should have been at the club.

Funny joints quotes

Funny joints quotes are the perfect way to crack a smile and lighten up those stiff moments! 😂 Whether you’re dealing with creaky knees or just love a clever pun, these witty sayings will have you laughing out loud and feeling a little more flexible in spirit. 🤸‍♂️💬 Get ready to roll on the floor with humor that’s as smooth as a well-oiled joint! 🦵🔥

New funny joints quotes 👇

All funny joints quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Random Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

62 shares on WeChat this month:

Really hate when I’m watching a movie, and I can see that they are acting.

93 shares on Telegram this month:

The best piece of dating advice I’ve ever received is “If they like you, you’ll know. If they don’t, you’ll be confused.” Honestly, it’s all you need to know.

18 shares on WeChat this month:

Maximizing rent value by turning ‘homebody’ into an Olympic sport!

94 shares on Threads this month:

It’s only 9am and I’ve already ruined my son’s entire life by giving him the banana with the brown spot on it.

16 shares on YouTube this month:

Nicole Kidman being in a film called Babygirl is actually perfect cause it’s like another version of her last name.

59 shares on YouTube this month:

I enjoy long, romantic walks … to the departure gate.

90 shares on X this month:

If you are lonely, dim all lights and put on a horror movie. After a while it won’t feel like you are alone anymore.

47 shares on X this month:

Isn’t it odd that “read” is pronounced like “lead”, while “read” is pronounced like “lead”?

38 shares on Reddit this month:

This generation of men makes celibacy so easy for women.

78 shares on Instagram this month:

We have decided to sell the house. How long do you think it will take for our landlord to find out?

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

6 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m not always a couch potato. For instance, right now I’m a chair potato, and later I’ll be a bed potato.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

It’s Friday. Rules don’t apply.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

“What’s something you’d tell your younger self?” You can have ice cream for dinner, nobody will stop you.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

Notice how you don’t catch me in public, it’s because i’m not real.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

I respect perfume commercials being like we can’t show you a smell mind if we just go insane for 30 seconds.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

Your fingers have fingertips, but your toes don’t have toetips. Yet, you can tiptoe but not tipfinger.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

Women swear they be broke… Then, all of a sudden, here comes that Shein delivery.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

Delete a letter of his name from your contacts every time he makes you upset. When his name’s gone, he’s gone. Hangman that boy.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

Cars should come with a secondary smaller “sorry” horn for when you do something a lil silly by accident.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

I would do absolutely anything to get 8 hours of sleep, except for going to bed 8 hours before I need to wake up.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,523

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇵🇭 has downloaded:

I bet it feels so good for a cat to headbutt someone they adore.

Someone from 🇪🇬 has downloaded:

When someone giving me directions says, “You can’t miss it,” I would love to tell them just how wrong they were if I could find my way back to them.

Someone from 🇪🇸 has bookmarked:

Chill, folks, it’s just a simulation.

Someone from 🇯🇲 has copied:

Newborns cry because they’re being evicted.

Someone from 🇧🇳 has bookmarked:

I am thick and tired.

Someone from 🇱🇦 has downloaded:

A word to the wise ain’t necessary, it’s the stupid ones who need advice.

Someone from 🇳🇬 has viewed:

I believe it was Aristotle who once said “The fastest way to get your kids to stop screaming is to also start screaming.”

Someone from 🇮🇪 has copied:

I don’t have a new year resolution, you don’t need that when you’re perfect.

Someone from 🇲🇿 has viewed:

But are we sure that stomachs are meant to be flat?

Someone from 🇮🇳 has downloaded:

What you call “Brunch” I call “Breakfast for Alcoholics.”

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Reddit:

The only time anyone should watch the news is to study how psychological manipulation works on the general public.

Broadcasted on Telegram:

If my fingers don’t motion like scissors snipping when I ask for a haircut at the salon, how will they know what I mean?

Spotted on WhatsApp:

I’m not a fan of camping, if I wanted to sleep outside I wouldn’t pay my mortgage.

Just landed via Telegram:

Just learned in psychology that when a man goes to sleep first, it’s because he’s comfortable around you and wants you to go through his phone.

Just shared via Facebook:

My life is constantly oscillating between “must save money” and “you only live once”.

Breaking via Facebook:

Does anyone know how to lower the difficulty setting on my life?

Broadcasted on Slack:

If I like you I keep you close, if not I keep you at a distance so I can mime squishing your head between my thumb and forefinger.

Seen just now on YouTube:

How long do you actually have to wear a muscle shirt until you get muscles?

Making waves on Pinterest:

I love being outside, just not when it’s too cold or too hot or too wet or too windy or if there are bugs.

Making waves on Telegram:

Going through life with a signature I invented as a teenager.

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