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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇳🇿 has viewed:

I have money, then I don’t have money, it all happens so fast!

Someone from 🇦🇷 has viewed:

A lot of people are afraid of heights. Not me, I’m afraid of widths.

Someone from 🇨🇾 has bookmarked:

I asked my dad what his favorite joke was. He said, “I can’t pick a favorite. I love you and your sister equally!”

Someone from 🇳🇬 has copied:

My boyfriend invited the neighbors over for dinner, “sometime,” so now we have to move.

Someone from 🇶🇦 has downloaded:

Be the reason why your local woods are haunted.

Someone from 🇧🇳 has shared:

You know you’re getting old when you get mad at some random car parked outside your house.

Someone from 🇱🇸 has shared:

They should invent a day where I don’t think.

Someone from 🇲🇨 has bookmarked:

Deleted old Tweets just in case I date a very famous woman with rabid fans.

Someone from 🇹🇬 has copied:

I’ve been in a bad mood since like 2010.

Someone from 🇺🇾 has viewed:

In England “booster shot” is spelled “borchestershire shot”.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2382 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,544

Funny Quotes Topics

15,227

Funny Quotes Images

12,544

Updated

11 hours ago

Users Online

3,454

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Reddit:

“I made this with AI.” Yeah, we can tell.

Breaking via Telegram:

No matter how bad your day seems, just remember that someone out there has line danced to Achy Breaky Heart.

Spotted on WhatsApp:

Taking action is my least favorite thing to take.

Freshly posted on WeChat:

Drive as I say, not as I drive.

Live now on Instagram:

If you don’t want to be in love with me that’s fine. You’re entitled to your wrong and very stupid opinions.

Going viral on Slack:

Don’t talk to me unless you are a ham sandwich.

Just landed via WhatsApp:

Tolerate the lactose already, you heathen.

Spotted on Threads:

Careful, “friend”. One more word about Shakira and you might find out just how fast I can draw this blade.

Seen just now on Reddit:

My toxic trait is destroying my room every time I get dressed.

Going viral on X:

Posing for photos has to be the most basic thing I’m actually terrible at.

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

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Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2382 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,544

Funny Quotes Topics

15,227

Funny Quotes Images

12,544

Updated

11 hours ago

Users Online

3,453

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇴 has downloaded:

Cats have 32 muscles in each ear, to help them ignore you.

Someone from 🇧🇫 has viewed:

After a month away and enough pasta to scare an Italian grandma, I can confirm: too much Parmesan? Never heard of her.

Someone from 🇵🇬 has bookmarked:

My main takeaway from ‘The Walking Dead’ is that you can still eat the expired canned goods in your pantry.

Someone from 🇲🇭 has viewed:

What if all the ancient Greek sculptures are actually victims of Medusa?

Someone from 🇳🇪 has viewed:

If you don’t fall in love with me, I’ll write poetry about you and then you’ll regret it.

Someone from 🇧🇯 has shared:

I can’t even think straight knowing a package got delivered while I’m not home.

Someone from 🇮🇹 has downloaded:

It’s really sad that April Fools is the only day people are appropriately skeptical of stuff they read on the internet.

Someone from 🇻🇨 has downloaded:

Don’t ask me for work advice, I’m just going to tell you to quit your job.

Someone from 🇲🇬 has viewed:

They say dress for the job you want, so I walk around dressed like Darth Vader.

Someone from 🇳🇵 has copied:

Get married and have kids so that you can Google things like “How to teach your kid to not bite”.

Social Media Log 💫

Broadcasted on Snapchat:

Work for a living? In this economy?

Freshly posted on Slack:

One of my biggest fears during a zombie apocalypse is having to sleep without a fan.

Making waves on WeChat:

You’re a ghost driving a meat-coated skeleton made from stardust, riding a rock, hurtling through space. Fear nothing.

Spreading quickly via WhatsApp:

Think like a crazy person, and then you’ll understand.

Trending via Slack:

With great power comes a great electricity bill.

Spotted on WhatsApp:

The ability to adjust your vocabulary based on who you’re speaking to is a valuable life skill that many people lack.

Broadcasted on YouTube:

Let’s hope those bridges you burn keep you warm at night.

Just landed via Slack:

If I was a weather man, I’d leak the weather early to pretty women.

Making waves on LinkedIn:

Every morning, the cat watches me make coffee and asks if we can go sit out on the balcony to watch the birds, and every morning I say, yes, of course, let’s.

Just landed via Instagram:

I get all the cardio I need by running out of patience.

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