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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇰🇪 has downloaded:

“We should get tickets” is as close to a rock concert as I get these days.

Someone from 🇩🇿 has downloaded:

It’s weird that Usher doesn’t have any songs about showing people to their seats.

Someone from 🇲🇿 has bookmarked:

Sorry I’m late. I was scraping the clearance tag off your Christmas present.

Someone from 🇸🇹 has downloaded:

Have you ever wanted to grab somebody by the shoulders, give them a good shake and whisper “Nobody cares!”

Someone from 🇨🇿 has shared:

If the zombie apocalypse happens we’re double screwed because there are millions on record as having no brain.

Someone from 🇹🇷 has viewed:

Went to an antique show and people started bidding on me.

Someone from 🇹🇱 has shared:

A drone, but for seeing which fast food drive-thrus have the shortest line.

Someone from 🇬🇶 has downloaded:

I haven’t even gone to bed yet and I already can’t wait to get home from work tomorrow.

Someone from 🇬🇹 has copied:

I’m getting targeted ads about chin fat and I’m offended by the relevance.

Someone from 🇹🇲 has bookmarked:

The Princess and the Pea, except it’s a rogue hair on the inside of my shirt driving me crazy all day.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

788 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,950

Funny Quotes Topics

13,923

Funny Quotes Images

10,950

Updated

50 minutes ago

Users Online

3,420

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on YouTube:

Men used to build castles for women they love, but now they think replying on time is too much effort.

Shared recently on TikTok:

I’ve asked so many people what LGBTQ stands for. So far no one has given me a straight answer.

Live now on Instagram:

My brain has too many tabs open.

Seen just now on Slack:

Politics top tip: Gain people’s trust by telling them that everyone is lying to them.

Just shared via Snapchat:

Ever since I learned the show is called Suits because of lawsuits and not because they wear suits, I have harbored a hot white rage within me beyond anything mankind has ever known.

Seen just now on Instagram:

I get so embarrassed for no reason after posting on social media. Like, why am I showing my life?

Breaking via LinkedIn:

My husband and I fell in love at first sight. Maybe I should have taken a second look.

Live now on Facebook:

“I made this with AI.” Yeah, we can tell.

Shared recently on Reddit:

They say money can’t buy happiness, but could someone just give me a lot of it and let me see for myself?

Making waves on TikTok:

How is rent for 28 days the same amount as for 31 days? Where is my change?

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

788 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,950

Funny Quotes Topics

13,923

Funny Quotes Images

10,950

Updated

50 minutes ago

Users Online

3,422

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇼🇸 has downloaded:

I am a person who wants to get a lot done, trapped in the body of a person who wants to sleep in and take naps at times.

Someone from 🇺🇸 has bookmarked:

I did the math and a second job would help me get out of debt as long as I start it twelve years ago.

Someone from 🇺🇿 has copied:

Spotify has got it all wrong, the hottest single of the year is me.

Someone from 🇨🇺 has copied:

I already want to take a nap tomorrow.

Someone from 🇱🇾 has viewed:

She asked to see where the magic happens, so I showed her my sandwich maker.

Someone from 🇺🇾 has downloaded:

Why isn’t there a mosquito that sucks fat?

Someone from 🇲🇨 has bookmarked:

The ideal girlfriend breaks your heart, so you go on to do great things.

Someone from 🇶🇦 has shared:

Sorry for what I said when I was drunk. I meant every word.

Someone from 🇰🇼 has copied:

It’s Friday. I ran out of small talk on Tuesday. Please leave me alone.

Someone from 🇵🇼 has viewed:

I could low-key really use a wish right now.

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Discord:

I miss when The Weeknd made haunted strip club music. Didn’t know how good I had it.

Just shared via WeChat:

Forget Spotify Wrapped. I’m more interested in seeing your Pornhub Wrapped.

Seen just now on Messenger:

Please no requests for a threesome. If I want to disappoint two people at the same time, I’ll visit my parents.

Breaking via Snapchat:

Whenever I get up my cat gets up too and then yells at me like it’s my fault she decided we have to do this together.

Breaking via X:

Hello bedtime my old friend, my brain is laughing once again.

Freshly posted on WeChat:

Partying hard on this Friday night, and by partying hard, I mean laying on my bed starfish-style.

Spotted on WeChat:

Dear brain, please stop thinking so much exactly when it’s time to fall asleep.

Shared recently on Threads:

I now feel I’ve watched enough reruns of The Shawshank Redemption on basic cable that I’ll be able to successfully make it in prison.

Just shared via WeChat:

Messed up and threw a surprise party for my minimalist friend. Now 25 of us are hiding behind the granite orb.

Spreading quickly via TikTok:

Training a cat is very easy. After a few days, you do what she wants.

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