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2 days ago
Share →: Sharpening pencils at the bin was the biggest link-up.

Commentary:
Ah, the art of bin-side diplomacy, where friendships were forged over #2 pencils and wood shavings! ✏️🗑️😄

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

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Someone from 🇶🇦 has copied:

Sorry I lied when I said “I can’t complain.”

Someone from 🇨🇻 has viewed:

Of course, being a child is terrible. They don’t give you any money, and then make you watch commercials the whole time.

Someone from 🇪🇬 has viewed:

Some of you need to clean your room before you take a selfie.

Someone from 🇩🇯 has viewed:

Imagine hating me and I’m just over here trying to remember how to spell “definitely”.

Someone from 🇸🇧 has shared:

There are rumors that someone came down the chimney last night. This is preposterous. I would have lost my mind.

Someone from 🇷🇴 has copied:

I can’t wait to hit my 80s & run for Congress.

Someone from 🇨🇾 has copied:

I am MTV, still played music videos, years old.

Someone from 🇹🇯 has copied:

There are two types of people: those who are clueless about their kids’ schedules and the other who plan it down to the minute. And they end up marrying each other.

Someone from 🇯🇵 has shared:

I’ve never been cut in half by a magician, but I have worn jeans on Thanksgiving. Same thing.

Someone from 🇲🇨 has shared:

Are you even a parent if you’ve never carried your child out of a store sideways like a surfboard?

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Threads:

If the Christians published the Kama Sutra, it would have been one page long.

Trending via Instagram:

If you accuse me of yelling, you will start to hear yelling so you can note the difference in the future.

Spotted on WeChat:

I don’t even know what the Transformers are fighting about, to be honest.

Going viral on Twitch:

Anyone else think it’s weird how cancer kills more people than any other astrological sign.

Just shared via X:

Potatoes make French fries, chips and vodka. It’s like the other vegetables aren’t even trying.

Just shared via Snapchat:

If an alien is 60 million light years away and is watching us through a telescope, it will see dinosaurs.

Going viral on Threads:

I’m not shy, I’m holding back my awesomeness so I don’t intimidate you.

Going viral on Slack:

My husband sure has a lot of opinions on which movie he’s gonna sleep through.

Shared recently on Facebook:

I don’t know who needs to hear this, but you don’t need anything from Amazon today.

Seen just now on Instagram:

In the morning: Tired! At lunchtime: Tired! In the evening: Tired! In bed: “Everybody dance now!”

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Funny link-up quotes

New funny link-up quotes 👇

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Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Everything will kill you so pick something fun.

Flex on your kids by asking “are we there yet?” before they do.

Don’t worry, I’m only dead inside from the waist up.

I love sleeping so much that it is the first thing I think about when I wake up.

I love how this generation broke the previous misconception that “people with tattoos can’t get good jobs” and now we all agree that “people with and without tattoos can’t get good jobs”.

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

If you’re the type of person who likes to be left alone, I’m with you. Better yet, I’m not with you.

A beaver is an otter that has studied architecture.

If I don’t duck my head when I drive into the parking garage, what’s gonna keep my car from hitting the ceiling?

When someone yells stop I don’t know whether it’s in the name of love, it’s Hammer time, or I should smell the flowers.

If you’re not in my circle of trust, you’re probably in my triangle of suspicion or rhombus of doubt.

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

I should’ve been an air conditioner because all I do is vent.

When I’m drafting a legal document, I’ll sprinkle the word “herein” all over that thing like it’s paprika.

My phone charger is lying in another room. HELP.

Odd—my boss told me to meet him at the abandoned quarry at midnight for my performance evaluation.

Maybe your soulmate’s just late, like, wildly behind schedule.

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

I’m only here while I wait for that Nigerian prince to follow through on his end of the bargain.

I don’t like being asked “are you at home?” Please expand further so I can know whether I’m at home or not.

I firmly believe that at this point my guardian angel is just eating popcorn and watching the drama.

Mission Impossible theme song plays in my head when I’m trying to remember a password.

Wooden pews are designed to maximize the shame of farting in church.

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