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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇻🇨 has bookmarked:

Why do my fully charged AirPods deplete at different rates? Do I listen harder out of one ear?

Someone from 🇰🇼 has viewed:

I’ve never met a problem I couldn’t make worse.

Someone from 🇸🇱 has shared:

When they dress up really nice, but all you can think about is the thrill of taking it off.

Someone from 🇧🇬 has shared:

Welcome to Netflix. We have every movie but the one you actually want to watch.

Someone from 🇦🇪 has viewed:

This salad tastes like I’d rather be fat.

Someone from 🇬🇲 has downloaded:

In the morning: Tired! At lunchtime: Tired! In the evening: Tired! In bed: “Everybody dance now!”

Someone from 🇸🇰 has downloaded:

If you’re too open-minded, your brains will fall out.

Someone from 🇰🇬 has viewed:

I really think my coworkers and I deserve an Oscar for acting like everything at work is fine.

Someone from 🇹🇯 has bookmarked:

Please remember, I am an inspiration for birth control.

Someone from 🇮🇶 has bookmarked:

When it gets past my bedtime, I get so scared.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,561

Social Media Log 💫

Spreading quickly via Pinterest:

Opening up to people is a scam. Don’t do it.

Spotted on WhatsApp:

My bed has a stronger influence on me than my ambitions.

Just landed via YouTube:

They should invent a type of situation that improves.

Broadcasted on Twitch:

People who scream sneeze need their own island.

Seen just now on WeChat:

Opera is when a guy gets stabbed in the back and, instead of bleeding, he sings.

Just shared via Pinterest:

Guy who thinks “generational trauma” means it’s like the goat of trauma.

Seen just now on YouTube:

Why waste words or gestures when a raised eyebrow is enough to make a statement?

Going viral on Reddit:

“Do you like the Microsoft Teams app?” Does Sisyphus like his boulder?

Broadcasted on Pinterest:

And so ends another week without me getting rich unexpectedly.

Going bananas on Facebook:

There should be a website where you post your wishes, and rich people who don’t know what to do with their money give you an anonymous gift.

Funny love relationship quotes

New funny love relationship quotes 👇

All funny love relationship quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Funny Quotes Collections
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Social Media Stars ⭐

97 shares on WhatsApp this month:

If you want to complain about my driving at least calm down and get off my hood first.

34 shares on Instagram this month:

A.I. should be forced to wait tables before it’s allowed to make art.

46 shares on TikTok this month:

All dogs are therapy dogs. The majority are just freelancing.

13 shares on X this month:

3 friends is enough. 1 for the movie theater, 1 for drinks and apps, 1 for texting concerning mental health information.

56 shares on Instagram this month:

It feels like a million o’clock right now.

16 shares on X this month:

I’m looking for insults so intelligent you don’t realize you’ve been roasted until three thoughts later.

70 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Welcome to Netflix. We have everything but what you want to watch.

35 shares on TikTok this month:

Imagine being hungry and some guy tries to teach you to fish.

41 shares on Slack this month:

To quote Hamlet Act III, Scene III, Line 92 “No.”

27 shares on Threads this month:

Remember: The first step to recovery is addiction.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

14 folks are currently checking 👀

It turns out when someone asks who your favorite child is, you’re supposed to choose from your own. I know that now.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

Sometimes the whole point of going out is to then really savor coming back home.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

(Talking to myself) I just don’t know what to tell you.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

I accidentally used my dog’s shampoo today, and now I’m feeling like such a good girl.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

I didn’t believe in karma until I was scheduled to work at 6am on a holiday.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

The incontinent optimist sees the bladder as half empty.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

Turns out, college is all about forming unspoken, powerful bonds with people you talk to twice.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

Don’t date coworkers. Being the hot coworker nobody at work has a chance with is always the best role to play.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

May life treat you exactly the same way you treat servers, store clerks, senior citizens, children, and animals.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

After my death, I’ll be very busy. The list of people to whom I want to appear as a ghost is getting longer every day.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,742

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇩 has downloaded:

Part of fatherhood is becoming an expert in some obscure topic and teaching it to your children who stopped listening 30 minutes ago.

Someone from 🇲🇽 has shared:

They should invent a rest for the wicked.

Someone from 🇵🇭 has bookmarked:

We are talking about how beautiful and cool you are behind your back.

Someone from 🇨🇿 has copied:

This too shall pass… It may pass like a kidney stone, but it will pass.

Someone from 🇳🇮 has shared:

It’s amazing, when it’s your birthday you really feel the love from family, friends, lovers, former dentists, yoga studios and various smootheries.

Someone from 🇨🇾 has viewed:

With certain people, you get nauseous just hearing their name.

Someone from 🇨🇬 has viewed:

Do you mind if I wear my black T-shirt covered in pet hair to your fine dining establishment?

Someone from 🇵🇹 has shared:

I be skipping everyone’s stories but watch mine like 20 times.

Someone from 🇦🇷 has downloaded:

Just once I’d like to hear a doctor say, “Your guess is as good as mine.”

Someone from 🇸🇲 has shared:

When I take a walk, I bring dog treats and people treats. I almost never mix them up.

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Threads:

Not having to bring my backpack to the last day of elementary school was the last time I truly felt free.

Spotted on Messenger:

Time travel is all well and good, but I feel so stupid right now. None of them have the mustache. No way to tell which baby is Hitler.

Just landed via Slack:

Once I shot a man with a paintball gun, just to watch him dye.

Going viral on Discord:

Technically mixed martial arts can include tickle fighting.

Freshly posted on Telegram:

I always work very hard and intensively to ensure that my wife can proudly say: “That idiot over there? Yes, that’s mine!”

Spotted on WeChat:

Staring sadly at the empty ice cream bowl that’s too small for licking.

Spotted on Instagram:

Dating is the process of meeting someone until you find out what’s wrong with them.

Live now on WhatsApp:

Hey girl, are you an extraterrestrial? ’Cause your husband’s out here acting like you don’t exist.

Spreading quickly via WhatsApp:

My daughter asked me what it’s like to be a parent, so I woke her up at 3 AM to let her know that I couldn’t sleep.

Broadcasted on Snapchat:

The older I get, the more I realize how much I love being at home, doing nothing.

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