Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇶🇦 has copied:

You got a better chance getting chased by a dog than by me.

Someone from 🇸🇴 has shared:

I’m homeless. Minus the ‘m’.

Someone from 🇨🇷 has downloaded:

Normalize talking to people in the gym who have earbuds in, they love that.

Someone from 🇦🇩 has copied:

I’m not going to die because of an accident. Nor because of an illness. But from small talk. Someone will say one boring sentence too many and I’ll drop dead.

Someone from 🇸🇱 has copied:

Be the lemon you want the world to hand to others.

Someone from 🇰🇪 has bookmarked:

Excited for my husband to get back from his trip, so I can sit him down for a little presentation of all the internet videos I saved for him to watch.

Someone from 🇵🇰 has viewed:

Before social media, you could just completely forget that somebody existed. Good times.

Someone from 🇿🇦 has viewed:

A job interview is basically a conversation between two liars.

Someone from 🇧🇩 has copied:

The older I get, the more I understand why Grumpy Old Men exist.

Someone from 🇰🇿 has viewed:

I ordered one of those Tempura mattresses. Way too crunchy.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,292

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on TikTok:

“I’ve had cigarettes that were better than entire years of my life.”

Seen just now on Threads:

I’d rather throw everything I own in the trash than try to deal with people on Facebook Marketplace.

Trending via Slack:

I go to tattoo parlors and trick them into shaving my leg for me, and then leave.

Going viral on Instagram:

I’ve touched enough cacti to know they are sharp, but also not enough to stop touching cacti.

Making waves on Pinterest:

What you call “Brunch” I call “Breakfast for Alcoholics.”

Going bananas on WhatsApp:

Feels like the Chinese government turned up the power on the sleepy ray they use on me every morning.

Making waves on Slack:

It’s so cold, I’m using Chrome instead of Firefox to read the news on my phone, because I need the ads to warm up my phone and hands.

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

If I can’t wash dishes to your album, it ain’t that fire.

Shared recently on Threads:

I like listening to true crime podcasts while I clean my bathroom because I can pretend I’m destroying evidence.

Spotted on Twitch:

If there was an award for staying at home, I’d win and then send someone else to pick it up for me.

Funny made-up quotes

Funny made-up quotes are the perfect blend of wit and whimsy, guaranteed to brighten your day with a splash of unexpected humor 😂✨. Whether you need a clever icebreaker or just a quick chuckle, these quirky gems bring smiles and giggles in spades 😜💡. Ready to dive into a world where words play dress-up and laughter is the main event? Let’s get silly and spark some joy! 🎉🤪

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All funny made-up quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Funny Quotes Collections
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Social Media Stars ⭐

85 shares on Discord this month:

I put the ‘no’ in ‘I will let u know’.

97 shares on Telegram this month:

Did you guys know that you can actually do whatever you want all the time?

96 shares on Twitch this month:

I modeled my morning routine on the humble rooster. Wake up, scream, wander around.

85 shares on TikTok this month:

My dream is to buy a horse and race it. The horse will probably beat me but it’ll still be fun.

81 shares on Messenger this month:

Old enough to know better. Young enough to do it anyway.

18 shares on Facebook this month:

Socialism isn’t wrong because it has compassion. It’s wrong because it doesn’t work.

99 shares on YouTube this month:

Can someone please invent 8 hours between 9 p.m. and midnight?

71 shares on Instagram this month:

They say the human body is 60% water, but after extensive observation of my husband and son, I’d like to submit a revision to the data. Those two are at least 50% wind.

52 shares on TikTok this month:

Females be naked so much online, I be like, damn, I bet she look good in a sweater.

38 shares on Instagram this month:

What’s it called when you’re super insecure but, at the same time, you can walk into a room full of people and think you’re better than everyone else?

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

22 folks are currently checking 👀

How do I get my glasses prescription placed in my windshield?

22 folks are currently checking 👀

I hope this email finds you at relative peace with the paradox of existence.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

How great is it to do absolutely nothing and follow it up by taking a rest.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

If I let you into my life, I am either emotionally invested or you are a grilled cheese sandwich.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

We were never supposed to have this much access to stupid people’s thoughts, beliefs, and opinions.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

If Kanye got hacked, no one would even know.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

I enjoy driving because it combines my desire to sit with my talent for being angry.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

Stop telling people to grow up. Have you seen adults?

12 folks are currently checking 👀

Blocking someone isn’t enough, I want them to get lice.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

What’s a positive thought for beginners? I’ve been getting into optimism lately.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,669

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇨 has viewed:

A person becomes 10 times more attractive not by their looks but by photoshop.

Someone from 🇧🇳 has bookmarked:

Game night with the family is only fun until I lose.

Someone from 🇧🇼 has shared:

I think we should all try to spend more time online. It seems to be helping society.

Someone from 🇮🇸 has downloaded:

Waiting patiently for something good to happen, like that goat in Jurassic Park.

Someone from 🇨🇫 has copied:

Oh, to live in an apartment alone and do whatever I want.

Someone from 🇰🇬 has shared:

My husband doesn’t find it nearly as amusing as I do when I sing, “Someday My Prince Will Come,” while I’m cleaning.

Someone from 🇬🇧 has downloaded:

The tag on my jeans says “Relaxed” so it obviously doesn’t have children.

Someone from 🇻🇺 has shared:

The empty spot in your bed is for snacks, not liars.

Someone from 🇱🇹 has downloaded:

Roses are red. Let’s get some fresh air. Make love in the moonlight. Have a pregnancy scare.

Someone from 🇰🇮 has shared:

Blocking him isn’t enough. I need to watch his hairline recede.

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Instagram:

I finally figured out my lifelong dream of becoming a human blanket, but my friends still call it napping on their couch.

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

Wait, some of you are actually seeing for free? No glasses, no contacts? Wow!

Just shared via WeChat:

I was googling the best time to visit Italy. It is when you have money.

Shared recently on Discord:

Having a daughter is like having a little broke best friend who thinks you’re rich.

Freshly posted on Telegram:

You are born, you lie about how you are and then you die.

Seen just now on Telegram:

Hi, I’m online. Would you like to argue for an hour about whether a hotdog is a sandwich?

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

Sometimes I shower in the dark and pretend I’m in a rainforest on an alien planet.

Trending via Twitch:

Why did they call it an Amazon wishlist and not an ‘Oughttobuyography’.

Just shared via LinkedIn:

I hate it when someone gives me a valid solution to my problem and I have to find something new to complain about.

Spreading quickly via YouTube:

Why insult someone when you can say something nice in a very sarcastic tone?

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