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10,000+ funny quotes

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Someone from 🇮🇪 has shared:

One thing nobody gives pigeons enough credit for is their ability to get out of the way on the sidewalk. A lot of you could learn a thing or two from them.

Someone from 🇲🇽 has copied:

I hate it when I take a picture of myself and see 20 years of bad eating habits and no exercise.

Someone from 🇬🇷 has viewed:

I don’t want to “act young”. I just can’t be as “grown up” as others my age.

Someone from 🇲🇺 has shared:

I’m not really a “glass half full” kind of person. I’m more of a “Where’d I put my glass?” kind of person.

Someone from 🇲🇺 has viewed:

I’m not shy, I’m holding back my awesomeness so I don’t intimidate you.

Someone from 🇸🇪 has downloaded:

You are what you eat! (If anyone needed more encouragement to eat the rich.)

Someone from 🇸🇾 has shared:

If you’re partying with your cousin and you’re asked if you’re related, “Our parents are siblings” will cause a lot of confusion.

Someone from 🇰🇿 has copied:

Being late to work should never be that serious. At least I came?

Someone from 🇸🇰 has downloaded:

When people give me directions and they’re like “you can’t miss it,” I’m like, “Oh, you do not know what I’m capable of.”

Someone from 🇧🇩 has bookmarked:

The real reason for global warming is that today’s young people are nowhere near as cool as we were back then.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

96 this month

Funny Quotes Total

14,690

Funny Quotes Topics

16,895

Funny Quotes Images

14,690

Updated

Dec 1, 2025

Users Online

3,577

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on YouTube:

An email so annoying, you wanna return the computer to the store.

Just shared via Telegram:

When the executioner asks me what my final words are, I’m just going to start filibustering.

Live now on YouTube:

Never argue with an idiot. They will drag you down to their level and beat you with experience.

Trending via Threads:

My my husband’s favorite thing is when I blame him for losing something that’s actually in my hand.

Going viral on Reddit:

I hate when people ask me: “Why are you so quiet?” Because I am. That’s how I function. I don’t ask others, “Why do you talk so much?” It’s rude.

Just shared via Facebook:

Due to financial reasons, I will now be performing photosynthesis.

Broadcasted on Snapchat:

I only sleep so my phone can get the night off.

Seen just now on YouTube:

My mom: sure use any towel. Also my mom: not that one.

Broadcasted on Twitch:

Sometimes the best thing about my job is that my chair turns.

Going bananas on Reddit:

My goal in life is to not have to commit seppuku.

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

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Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

96 this month

Funny Quotes Total

14,690

Funny Quotes Topics

16,895

Funny Quotes Images

14,690

Updated

Dec 1, 2025

Users Online

3,652

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇮🇱 has shared:

Grammar is the difference between knowing your shit and knowing you’re shit.

Someone from 🇱🇮 has viewed:

Online shopping gives me a reason to live for another 3-5 business days.

Someone from 🇨🇿 has viewed:

Can’t. Calling out some bullshitters on some bullshit.

Someone from 🇮🇹 has viewed:

There are a 100 billions nerves in the human body, and there are people who have the ability to irritate all of them.

Someone from 🇳🇮 has viewed:

Vegan zombies be like: GRAINS!

Someone from 🇧🇭 has viewed:

The only difference between hungry and horny is where you insert the cucumber.

Someone from 🇹🇹 has viewed:

Noam Chomsky is a crazy name, like you sound hungry as f***.

Someone from 🇬🇾 has viewed:

Drinking a beer alone with terrible posture.

Someone from 🇸🇿 has viewed:

And to my great-grandchildren, I leave 48,567 screenshots.

Someone from 🇺🇾 has viewed:

Anyone else smile at old people just to show that you’re one of the good ones.

Social Media Log 💫

Live now on Twitch:

McDonald’s needs a 3rd window so you can trade in all the wrong stuff they gave you.

Breaking via WhatsApp:

I wish berries were the size of apples. Just imagine for a second.

Going bananas on Slack:

I was googling the best time to visit Italy. It is when you have money.

Shared recently on Instagram:

Nothing prepares you for the day you wake up and realize you have a favorite cardigan.

Going viral on WeChat:

I don’t know who needs to hear this, but your dog can stay home for the hour you’re at the grocery store or restaurant.

Seen just now on Pinterest:

I don’t know what’s more fun—grocery shopping or making the old men blush by asking if these melons look ripe.

Freshly posted on Discord:

Having a girlfriend is insane because you can literally text them, and they will respond.

Spreading quickly via Slack:

If people continue to behave so badly, I will donate my organs to an animal shelter.

Seen just now on Threads:

I’ve convinced myself bumblebees don’t sting because they’re too fluffy and cute.

Making waves on WeChat:

I would do absolutely anything for my friends, except answer their text messages.

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