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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇳🇿 has copied:

At my age I don’t sleep, I nap between pee breaks.

Someone from 🇰🇭 has shared:

One day you’ll meet that amazing person who just gets you, and they won’t text you back either.

Someone from 🇨🇭 has copied:

Nobody bools anymore. In high school, everyone was booling.

Someone from 🇲🇽 has bookmarked:

You get to choose which path you take. I see some of you have chosen the psychopath.

Someone from 🇸🇿 has shared:

Just washed my windows and not a single bloke came out and said ‘You can do mine next!’ This used to be a real country.

Someone from 🇩🇲 has viewed:

That awkward moment when a zombie looking for brains walks right past you.

Someone from 🇨🇭 has shared:

Do you ever wish you could just walk away mid-conversation when you’re bored?

Someone from 🇧🇩 has downloaded:

“Dress for the job you want, not for the job you have” is all well and good until you’re rocking a tutu.

Someone from 🇻🇳 has copied:

If you’re a mad scientist, put a note in your laboratory reminding you to sometimes be a happy scientist.

Someone from 🇳🇦 has viewed:

This year should be named “things I never thought could happen”.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,607

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Facebook:

To-do list: bite the hand that feeds me, put all my eggs in one basket, kill two birds with one stone, let the cat out of the bag, think inside the box, burn bridges, walk on thin ice, play with fire.

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

When I get bored on a Zoom meeting, I put a cursor under the speaker’s nose to make it look like they have a booger.

Going viral on Pinterest:

Chocolate doesn’t ask silly questions, chocolate understands.

Seen just now on Reddit:

It’s amazing to think that a Penguin wrote all of those classic books.

Making waves on Snapchat:

The kids in Mrs. Doubtfire were pretty dumb if they couldn’t figure out that their nanny was famous actor Robin Williams the whole time.

Making waves on Snapchat:

Dear people, who drive without music playing, what do you do with your brain?

Spotted on Facebook:

Only thing that can cure my depression is $500 million.

Trending via Pinterest:

I alway get the same thing every year for Christmas. Fat!

Spotted on Facebook:

You’re either snacking with me or snacking against me.

Spotted on Discord:

When I’m behind a slow car, I steer my car a little to the right so the people behind me can see that it isn’t my fault.

Funny Marxism quotes

New funny Marxism quotes 👇

“I asked ChatGPT.” “I asked Grok.” Yeah, well, I just analyzed it from a Marxist perspective, and it was pretty obvious.

4 weeks ago

AI, analysis, asked, humor, i, just, Marxism, obvious, parody, perspective, pretty, satire, technology, well

All funny Marxism quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Random Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

100 shares on Threads this month:

Ever since I was young, I wanted to check my email for a verification code.

20 shares on Threads this month:

We must all do our part for the planet. The other day I unplugged a row of electric cars nobody was using.

61 shares on TikTok this month:

We’re living in increasingly unfergalicious times.

10 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I can literally trace the moment my career died back to when my boss said he was in back-to-back meetings, and I said, “Isn’t face-to-face better?”

17 shares on Snapchat this month:

A relationship is like a shark, it looks better on TV.

67 shares on Telegram this month:

Just did a seductive hair flip and an onion ring flew out.

21 shares on Instagram this month:

This generation of men makes celibacy so easy for women.

42 shares on Snapchat this month:

I’m the only person breathing through my nose at this Walmart.

55 shares on WeChat this month:

Mario Kart turned out to be the best training for winter driving.

10 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I am at my Thanksgiving table observing personality disorders that have not been identified yet.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇰 has shared:

I hate it when my body decides to get sick. I gave you a vegetable last week, how dare you.

Someone from 🇮🇷 has copied:

$20k in my bank account. – The k is silent.

Someone from 🇲🇱 has viewed:

Oh, to be a rich, beautiful woman in her big car, driving to buy overpriced groceries to stock up her breathtaking kitchen in her gorgeous house.

Someone from 🇧🇯 has copied:

The internet is fun because you can post about mayonnaise and somehow end up in a fight.

Someone from 🇳🇵 has downloaded:

Sitting next to you on an empty train and clicking my stopwatch every time you turn a page in your book.

Someone from 🇹🇻 has bookmarked:

Deeply unfair of people to assume I have my life together just because I’m boring.

Someone from 🇹🇼 has downloaded:

All people make me happy. Some when they come, others when they leave.

Someone from 🇼🇸 has copied:

Saying “You’re tearing this family apart” whenever someone argues with me.

Someone from 🇨🇴 has downloaded:

Never miss a good chance to shut up.

Someone from 🇩🇲 has shared:

No one is shocked when a defibrillator doesn’t work.

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on X:

The ideal girlfriend breaks your heart, so you go on to do great things.

Just shared via Telegram:

Wanna go back to my place and meow at each other?

Making waves on YouTube:

RIP to everyone killed by the Gods for their hubris, but I’m different. And better. Maybe even better than the Gods.

Going bananas on YouTube:

Kissing while both wearing baseball caps is so hard. How do baseball players do it?

Going viral on WeChat:

Marriage is for life. But when that was first said, life was shorter.

Freshly posted on Messenger:

“Pre” means before, and “post” means after. Using both at the same time would be preposterous.

Spotted on Snapchat:

Becoming an adult was the worst thing I’ve ever done.

Spotted on Twitch:

There’s an epidemic of people just staring at their phones in their parked cars.

Just landed via Twitch:

Being in love will have you put your pride aside and go to places you never thought you would, like New Jersey.

Seen just now on TikTok:

Hey, sorry I acted weird the other day. I was trying so hard to act normal that it backfired.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Funny Marxism quotes

New funny Marxism quotes 👇

“I asked ChatGPT.” “I asked Grok.” Yeah, well, I just analyzed it from a Marxist perspective, and it was pretty obvious.

All funny Marxism quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨