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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇧 has bookmarked:

“I thought it might be nice to go round the room and say a bit about ourselves.” Oh dear, you thought wrong.

Someone from 🇸🇮 has viewed:

Welcome to Twitter, some random, judgmental stranger will be along shortly to complain about your tweets.

Someone from 🇲🇨 has viewed:

The year number is getting too big, let’s do another Jesus soon.

Someone from 🇻🇳 has copied:

My apologies to the Goodreads reviewer who found my novel about vampires on a submarine, “unrealistic.”

Someone from 🇲🇻 has downloaded:

“Never let someone else destroy your stuff when you can destroy it yourself”, every kid I ever.

Someone from 🇲🇬 has viewed:

I will play my favorite song until the artist comes out of my phone to ask for water.

Someone from 🇲🇹 has downloaded:

No one is shocked when a defibrillator doesn’t work.

Someone from 🇸🇷 has bookmarked:

All this suffering on earth because someone ate an apple once.

Someone from 🇦🇱 has bookmarked:

I don’t always clear my calculator, but when I do, I hit both C and CE a bunch of times because I don’t know exactly what they do.

Someone from 🇱🇻 has shared:

I love to watch the enthusiasm of new coworkers, and then their inevitable slow descent into not giving a damn.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

241 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,510

Funny Quotes Topics

17,577

Funny Quotes Images

15,510

Updated

Jan 7, 2026

Users Online

3,435

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on X:

I haven’t given up on my fairy-tale ending. I still plan to be eaten by a wolf.

Seen just now on TikTok:

Be the reason your therapist reevaluates their entire career.

Shared recently on Telegram:

Most of being a woman is just removing exclamation points from emails before you send them.

Going viral on WhatsApp:

About to watch Tenet for the first time and I enjoyed it.

Live now on Pinterest:

Growing up means choosing cozy couch moments over crowded club scenes. Cheers to adulting!

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

Trying to bribe Monday with coffee to get it to act like a Friday.

Shared recently on WeChat:

You get your hands on a real serious pair of scissors and wonder what the hell they were doing with the regular ones.

Breaking via Pinterest:

Living alone is so dumb, you’ll be asking your pets if they’ve seen your phone, and those lazy bastards never know.

Freshly posted on Discord:

I was telling my sister that I’ve been going to the gym recently, and my nephew said, “You should go inside when you get there,” and I don’t think I’ll ever recover from that.

Shared recently on Instagram:

I am absolutely unstoppable, unless it’s a bit rainy.

Funny masquerade quotes

New funny masquerade quotes 👇

Films and television have led me to believe that masquerade balls have a higher mortality rate than most wars.

0

2 months ago

ball, balls, believe, entertainment, film, humor, led, masquerade, me, mortality, rate, television, war, wars

Someone from 🇩🇿 has recently shared this quote.

25 shares on Messenger this month.

All funny masquerade quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

56 shares on Telegram this month:

I have a mental illness that makes me think that people will change their minds if I present the correct arguments with the appropriate facts and data.

22 shares on YouTube this month:

I told my GPS I needed direction in life, and now it insists on recalculating every hour.

56 shares on X this month:

My favorite part of Spring is its rolls.

30 shares on Reddit this month:

Curly fries are my favorite as they’re salty and spiraling, like me.

91 shares on Reddit this month:

At 30+, I’m like an old phone battery. Even when you charge me overnight for 10 hours, by midday I’m at 60%.

98 shares on Messenger this month:

If I had The Force, I’d just use it to open pistachios.

91 shares on Discord this month:

They said, “Enjoy your money because life is short.” Now my money is finished, but I’m still alive.

84 shares on Twitch this month:

No one warned me that being an adult was mostly just hurrying up to get somewhere you don’t want to go in the first place.

66 shares on YouTube this month:

“Normalize this, normalize that.” How about y’all feel shame for once?

96 shares on Snapchat this month:

Coworker: Where are you going after work? Me: Away from you.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇳🇬 has copied:

Trust my gut? The thing that can’t even handle milk.

Someone from 🇨🇲 has downloaded:

Holding this fart in feels like I’m pregnant with a dinosaur.

Someone from 🇨🇩 has downloaded:

The best part about getting added to a group chat is leaving two weeks later.

Someone from 🇲🇬 has viewed:

Who called it a shopaholic and not a boughtanist?

Someone from 🇵🇭 has shared:

It’s finally actually Saturday after just thinking it was Saturday every day for the last five days.

Someone from 🇰🇷 has downloaded:

Some people post such depressing love shit that I start to miss their exes myself!

Someone from 🇺🇦 has bookmarked:

“New password cannot be your old password” makes me so mad.

Someone from 🇰🇮 has shared:

Not to brag but I don’t even need alcohol to make really bad decisions.

Someone from 🇲🇹 has viewed:

For this Halloween I’ve trained my eyebrows to leap off my face and destroy those who’ve angered me.

Someone from 🇹🇩 has downloaded:

Being an adult is like folding a fitted sheet.

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Slack:

Tupperware is a fun way to store your leftovers until you throw them away.

Spreading quickly via Pinterest:

Once you understand why pizza is made round, packed in square boxes, and eaten as a triangle, then you will understand women.

Going viral on Twitch:

I want to be rich enough where I’m not offended by the price of beef jerky.

Freshly posted on Facebook:

I need new friends. The old ones know too much.

Spotted on Pinterest:

Today I went for a walk with a girl, she noticed me, so we went for a run.

Seen just now on X:

I bet oiling and wrapping potatoes in aluminum foil feels so good for the potato.

Spreading quickly via Twitch:

Almonds are a scam. They are wood. You are eating wood.

Trending via Twitch:

Wanted to report a YouTube video, but there is no option for “Cringe”, so I just picked “Terrorism”.

Shared recently on TikTok:

First responders? You mean reply guys?

Spreading quickly via Pinterest:

I met the real Santa tonight, and he said you’re all in trouble.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Funny masquerade quotes

New funny masquerade quotes 👇

Films and television have led me to believe that masquerade balls have a higher mortality rate than most wars.

All funny masquerade quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨