I don’t have a welcome mat at my front door because I’m not a liar.

I don’t have a welcome mat at my front door because I’m not a liar.

Commentary:
"Who needs a welcome mat when you have honesty as your doormat? 🚪🤥 Keeping it real from doorstep to living room! #NoLiesAtThisHouse"

I don't have a yoga mat, but I have a Twister mat, and it's the same thing.

I don’t have a yoga mat, but I have a Twister mat, and it’s the same thing.

Commentary:
"Who needs a yoga mat when you can strike a pose on a Twister mat? 🧘‍♂️ Just watch out for those 'right foot blue' positions! 🟦🦶 #TwisterYoga"

A Tinder type app, but it matches you with sandwiches.

A Tinder type app, but it matches you with sandwiches.

Commentary:
"Swipe right for sandwiches that fill the hole in your stomach and your heart! 🥪❤️ Who needs love when you have the perfect BLT waiting for you? #SandwichesAreBae"

What idiot called it Catfishing your Tinder Contacts and not Playing With Matches?

What idiot called it Catfishing your Tinder Contacts and not Playing With Matches?

Commentary:
"Why do we call it Catfishing when we could be Playing With Matches? 🐟🔥 It's like choosing between a purr-fect crime and a fiery disaster! 🔥😼 Let's match things up and see who will be left smoldering in the end! 🔥😜"