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16 hours ago
Share →: I am AOL Instant Messenger years old.

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When you've spent more time explaining dial-up sounds to Gen Z than actually using the internet 🌐📞😂

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

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Someone from 🇲🇿 has viewed:

Nobody says “boom shakalaka” like they used to.

Someone from 🇬🇩 has downloaded:

Never say never. Unless someone asks you when you want to go camping. Then the right answer is always “Never.”

Someone from 🇸🇳 has shared:

You wish you had this many chins.

Someone from 🇯🇲 has viewed:

If you bring an acoustic guitar to a bonfire, I’m going to assume it’s for fuel.

Someone from 🇬🇧 has shared:

I don’t know who needs to hear this right now, but it’s time to fold the laundry that’s been lying around since last Sunday.

Someone from 🇹🇱 has downloaded:

Social media is proof that even mental hospitals have WiFi.

Someone from 🇲🇦 has copied:

In hell, you wait for a ‘verify your email address’ email that never arrives.

Someone from 🇹🇳 has downloaded:

Not to brag, but I skipped my mid-life crisis and went straight to cranky old man.

Someone from 🇷🇴 has bookmarked:

Normalize talking to people in the gym who have earbuds in, they love that.

Someone from 🇸🇰 has shared:

Hey cell phone companies who play smooth jazz hold music hoping I’ll lose interest and give up: yeah, it’s kinda working.

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Slack:

I relate to a rooster because I also want start off my day by screaming.

Going viral on Facebook:

My mouth moves faster than my survival instincts.

Going viral on WeChat:

Sorry for having no idea what the hell I am doing. It will happen again.

Just shared via Messenger:

Dentists get rich by staring into your mouth for 30 seconds, playing sinking ships with their assistant, and then telling you to brush better.

Just shared via Messenger:

Should be able to shazam the inner yearnings of my heart.

Reported on Reddit:

My recliner and I go way back.

Breaking via X:

Eating nothing but beer for a month and calling that Oktoberfast.

Spotted on Reddit:

If you want to impress me with your car, it should be an ice cream van.

Trending via Reddit:

Only time I believe a man is when he tells me that I’m pretty.

Trending via Instagram:

Flour company: What if we sell it in a paper bag that’s not fully sealed at the bottom?

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Funny messenger quotes

New funny messenger quotes 👇

For even more funny messenger quotes, check out the next page, if available 👇

All funny messenger quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Not me out here checking the growth progress of my potted flowers only a couple hours after I planted the seeds in the first place.

Sometimes I’m out in public and I have to look down real quick to make sure I remembered to put on pants.

I laugh at my own jokes because I am my target audience. Y’all just happen to be there.

This time last night, there was a spider so big in my bathroom it put me under a glass on a postcard and carried me out.

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Introducing two cats is tedium. Not interested in your dumb politics just lick each other and be normal already.

If you want your teen to finish her homework, tell her to fold the laundry.

I dropped and broke my phone today. Hurt more than childbirth!

Tidying up usually ends up with you sitting somewhere and playing around with things you found while tidying up.

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Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

The incontinent optimist sees the bladder as half empty.

Pirate: walks the plank. Someone’s dad: Is this teak?

I’m proud of myself because, despite having so many expenses, I still manage to add more.

I could be a masseuse, or I could just be pulling your leg.

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Good news: I set an all time high today! Bad news: It’s my cholesterol.

Rappers be making you feel guilty for no reason at all: “You was in the house eating dinner while I was in the streets hungry”. Like my fault, bro.

Speaker phone in public should be illegal.

I think I’ll just sit here and waste oxygen all day.

Wealthy person who has no problems and also meditates sometimes: Meditation is my secret weapon.

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