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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇳🇬 has downloaded:

I’m so glad when summer is over and I finally don’t have to see any feet on the internet anymore.

Someone from 🇹🇩 has shared:

I want a girlfriend so hot that people walking down the street know that I am funny.

Someone from 🇬🇦 has viewed:

Egg nog was invented in Germany back in 1816 when Baron von Heldebrandt reportedly said “Hey guys, let’s get this custard drunk!”

Someone from 🇩🇯 has bookmarked:

Too many toilets have automatically flushed underneath me for me not to have reservations about self-driving cars.

Someone from 🇧🇮 has downloaded:

If I ask “What’s your zodiac sign?” it’s either because we’re vibing or you’re getting on my nerves.

Someone from 🇧🇪 has shared:

Christmas is coming and you’re not.

Someone from 🇱🇹 has shared:

An apple a day keeps the doctor away, but if the doctor is cute, forget the fruit.

Someone from 🇴🇲 has copied:

Hey, are you an aurora borealis or why am I waiting in vain for you to appear?

Someone from 🇲🇳 has shared:

Oh good. Another day.

Someone from 🇾🇪 has copied:

Is there an app yet that converts voice messages into text messages?

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

765 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,927

Funny Quotes Topics

13,899

Funny Quotes Images

10,927

Updated

52 minutes ago

Users Online

3,444

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on WeChat:

Twitter is fun because you can tweet about hashbrowns and someone will say you are responsible for genocide.

Spotted on Slack:

My favorite dinner is the one made by someone else.

Just landed via Reddit:

Some people find it strange when you talk to your pet. I find conversations with some people much stranger.

Reported on YouTube:

Apple want $3,500 for their Vision Pro. No thanks. I can look like a dork for free.

Just shared via Twitch:

What’s the point of having sex dreams if you always wake up just when it’s getting down to business?

Just landed via Telegram:

Marriage is like a phone call at the night: First there’s the ring, and then you wake up.

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

“I’m just playing devil’s advocate here.” Ok, why are you helping the devil?

Shared recently on Reddit:

I’m not lazy, I’m waiting for inspiration to hit me… should be here any time now.

Shared recently on Threads:

Where do they get the seeds to plant seedless watermelons?

Freshly posted on TikTok:

Well, at least my cat is supportive of me doing less and laying around more.

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Funny Monday blues quotes

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media need people procrastination relationship sarcasm social someone technology time want work

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

765 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,927

Funny Quotes Topics

13,899

Funny Quotes Images

10,927

Updated

52 minutes ago

Users Online

3,428

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇮🇳 has viewed:

Why is Subway asking me for a tip? Bro, we made this sandwich together.

Someone from 🇵🇦 has shared:

My favorite voicemails are those where the person doesn’t leave one.

Someone from 🇹🇷 has copied:

Nothing more rude than taking a photo of yourself and it looking like how you actually look, and not how you look inside your head.

Someone from 🇧🇮 has copied:

Imagine being a giraffe and having to throw up.

Someone from 🇵🇪 has downloaded:

Taking action is my least favorite thing to take.

Someone from 🇱🇮 has viewed:

Today’s book recommendation: “The Art of Silence” by the famous Chinese philosopher Shut-Up.

Someone from 🇬🇷 has shared:

Oligarchy sounds like something you dip your breadstick in at the olive garden.

Someone from 🇧🇭 has shared:

Drive as I say, not as I drive.

Someone from 🇲🇪 has bookmarked:

I am awake. Please respect my privacy during this difficult time.

Someone from 🇧🇬 has downloaded:

I’m often mistaken for an adult because of my age.

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Facebook:

I grew up with six brothers. That’s how I learned to dance: waiting for the bathroom.

Just shared via Reddit:

Ancestors survived five mass extinctions on earth for me to be killed by a house cat I was trying to put a Christmas sweater on.

Seen just now on Reddit:

Ain’t nothing better than knowing you were right when everyone else thought you were crazy.

Breaking via Snapchat:

The concept of warding off vampires with crosses is so interesting to me. I wonder if it applies to any other religion or if they’re allergic to just Catholicism.

Seen just now on Discord:

The key to a healthy relationship is taking turns being the sad one.

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

Nosferatu implies the existence of a Yesferatu.

Just shared via WeChat:

I’ll never salute you, General Settings.

Breaking via WhatsApp:

Nothing more humiliating than sending a text message with a picture and the picture doesn’t send for ages and now you’ve said something sooo odd out of context.

Broadcasted on TikTok:

The problem with rich people is that I am not one.

Trending via Instagram:

I’m a comedian. My pronouns are ha/ha.

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