Wordgag ツ

6 months ago
Share →: Shout-out to the lifeguard who recommended moving the potato to the front of my Speedo.

Commentary:
"Big thanks to the lifeguard for ensuring I have my priorities straight – from saving lives to saving potatoes in my Speedo! 🥔🩳 Who knew tubers could be trendy swimwear accessories?"
6 months ago
Share →: It’s awesome when people honk at you for not moving when you’re letting people cross. You’re right, bro, I should just annihilate this family of four.

Commentary:
"When pedestrians are crossing, why not show some love and drop a beat instead of honking? 🚶‍♂️🚶‍♀️💃 Let's keep the peace on the streets, folks! 🚗✌️ #CalmDownAndDriveOn"
6 months ago
Share →: I’ve broken all my New Year’s Resolutions so now I’m moving on to laws of nature.

Commentary:
Looks like someone prefers bending the laws of nature over following their resolutions 😉🌿🔮 Embrace that wild and unstoppable energy! 🌀💫 #RuleBreaker
6 months ago
Share →: I appreciate the sun for always moving in the sky in a predictable way but I also respect the moon for just kind of doing whatever.

Commentary:
"Ah, the sun, the responsible celestial body sticking to its schedule like clockwork ⏰☀️. And then there's the moon, living its best chaotic neutral life 🌙🤷‍♂️. Balance in the universe, right?"
6 months ago
Share →: Trying to carry a pet to bed is like moving a dense liquid that’s annoyed by you.

Commentary:
Attempting to transport a pet to bed is akin to persuading a grumpy, stubborn blob of molasses to cooperate 🐱💤 It's a literal struggle of fluff and frustration!
6 months ago
Share →: Only after moving in together do you realize your girlfriend’s little quirks. Mine, for example, stores vegetables in the beer compartment.

Commentary:
Oh, the joys of cohabitation! 🏠👫 Sounds like she's really taking the concept of a "veggie ale" to a whole new level! 🍺🥦 Who knew the beer compartment could have such a versatile use? 😄 #RelationshipQuirks
6 months ago
Share →: Alcohol: When you want to run away from your problems without moving.

Commentary:
"Alcohol: Your one-way ticket to avoiding responsibilities while staying in one spot! 🍻🏃‍♂️ #ProcrastinationStation"
6 months ago
Share →: Love is like a bird. Sometimes flying around me but then moving on.

Commentary:
"Love is indeed a free-spirited bird 🦅, fluttering into our lives with a flapping of wings and a chirp of joy. But just as we start to build a cozy nest, it spreads its wings and says, 'Caw ya later!' 🕊️💔 Fly on, love bird, fly on… Who needs a nest anyway when you can soar through the skies of singledom! 🌦️✨"
6 months ago
Share →: Sorry I can’t help you move, my hands are in permanent air quotes.

Commentary:
"Sorry, I'd lend a hand but they're too busy expressing skepticism 😂🤷‍♂️ Who knew air quotes could be so demanding?!"