Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇷 has shared:

The reward for doing really good work is more work.

Someone from 🇰🇪 has bookmarked:

Socialism isn’t wrong because it has compassion. It’s wrong because it doesn’t work.

Someone from 🇺🇸 has downloaded:

Asked my therapist who their therapist was and went to see them. Asked them the same thing until I got to the final boss therapist and defeated them with my trainwreck of a life.

Someone from 🇸🇰 has downloaded:

Trying to spend less time on my phone so I can get back to something I’ve loved since childhood: watching TV.

Someone from 🇹🇻 has viewed:

I knew the date was going well when we shared a glass of gravy with two straws.

Someone from 🇲🇿 has copied:

If we all club together we could raise enough money to buy Monday and have it destroyed.

Someone from 🇳🇮 has copied:

Stop asking me if I’m tired. Can’t I just be ugly?

Someone from 🇶🇦 has shared:

Why is everyone so chill about parrots being able to talk? That’s a whole animal. Talking.

Someone from 🇧🇩 has shared:

Co-worker: You look so unapproachable. Me: Yet, here you are.

Someone from 🇧🇮 has shared:

I used to love going out with people. Now I weigh the pros and cons of human interaction, like it’s a business decision.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,689

Social Media Log 💫

Spreading quickly via Telegram:

My son loves Monty Python. My work here is done.

Breaking via Twitch:

Age is just a number that you keep off of Facebook after 35.

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

That moment when rappers mispronounce a word just to make it rhyme.

Freshly posted on TikTok:

Another fine day ruined by responsibilities.

Freshly posted on WeChat:

Nothing tops a plain pizza.

Just landed via WhatsApp:

Women pretending not to see men staring at them is an essential survival skill.

Live now on Messenger:

I’ve realized there’s more to life than social media, so I guess this is goodbye for the next 12 minutes.

Spotted on TikTok:

It’s like ten thousand spoons when all you need is a Like.

Trending via Twitch:

My toxic trait is thinking every inconvenience is the universe personally attacking me.

Just landed via TikTok:

The bank just called and gave me the biggest compliment, said my balance is outstanding. I really needed that today.

Funny Mr. Miyagi quotes

New funny Mr. Miyagi quotes 👇

All funny Mr. Miyagi quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Funny Quotes Collections
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Social Media Stars ⭐

85 shares on Telegram this month:

This too shall pass. And then some other bullshit will come and take its place. It never fucking ends.

45 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Even on the coldest of days, there’s such peace found in the warm embrace of a hot pizza.

14 shares on Reddit this month:

Spotify Wrapped has a special talent for pulling up an artist I’ve literally never heard of and telling me I actually listen to them 2,000 times per day.

46 shares on YouTube this month:

Please don’t buy my book on reverse psychology.

60 shares on X this month:

Startup idea: Instagram, but it only shows you posts from people you follow, and they’re in chronological order.

75 shares on X this month:

Don’t be alarmed at my semicolon usage; I’m a professional.

46 shares on Instagram this month:

I love men with a provider fetish.

29 shares on WeChat this month:

I’m shocked it offended you, I was certain someone was gonna need to explain it to you.

94 shares on Slack this month:

She got me to fall for her, like a boomer seeing an AI image on Facebook.

15 shares on Twitch this month:

I hate when I offer someone food and they accept it.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

20 folks are currently checking 👀

All the fruit flies are well-behaved near the garbage, only one is constantly nagging somewhere else because it thinks it has to discover new lands.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

Men used to go to war. Now they say, “Hey, Grok.”

5 folks are currently checking 👀

Some folks go to college to delay being a bum.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

I always have a cheap bottle of wine in the house in case any family visit.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

I leave the blue tick on WhatsApp so that people can see exactly when I wasn’t interested.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

If I ever look at my phone in the middle of a conversation with you, I’m not reading a text; I’m just looking up the definition of a word I just used a bit too confidently.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

I believe in Bigfoot because Bigfoot believes in me.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

Crazy that caffeine has no short or long-term negative side effects. Just a super drug from God.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

When I was a kid I thought shrimp cocktails had alcohol in them and I thought it was such a weird way to get drunk.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

Welcome to your 50s, your joints are now meteorologists.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,589

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇲 has copied:

Seeing a grown man stumble when the train moves is disgusting. How will you provide for anyone?

Someone from 🇬🇹 has viewed:

Why put off until tomorrow what you can have an intern do today?

Someone from 🇰🇪 has bookmarked:

Stop blaming everyone for all of your problems. Pick the one person you really hate and blame them for everything.

Someone from 🇲🇩 has bookmarked:

I believe that emails are trying to tell us something.

Someone from 🇨🇳 has shared:

“I’m gonna decide everyone’s pronouns and sexuality tonight. And, yes, there will be some big surprises.”

Someone from 🇸🇰 has viewed:

Toothpaste sure knows how to ruin whatever you’re drinking.

Someone from 🇧🇦 has shared:

I caught your husband cheating on you at an Alanis concert, and thought you, you, you oughta know.

Someone from 🇲🇼 has viewed:

If I say goodnight and an hour later you see me online, it’s not that I lied; it’s just that I failed.

Someone from 🇦🇱 has shared:

After having a week off, my boss returns to work today. Please respect my privacy during this difficult time.

Someone from 🇦🇫 has shared:

If I was lying down and someone came up and gave me tons of kisses and smooshed my face, I’d love it. I don’t know what my cat’s problem is.

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on TikTok:

(pausing the TV and turning to my kids) Now I want to talk to you guys for a second about what Bart just told that man to do.

Just landed via X:

Lowkey wanna fall in love, but Monday to Friday is work, Saturday is laundry, Sunday is mental prep for Monday. The butterflies in my stomach are actually decomposing.

Freshly posted on Discord:

So tomorrow is Monday again? I can’t keep living like this.

Making waves on Pinterest:

Can’t believe we used to throw eggs at houses, and now we can afford neither eggs nor houses.

Shared recently on Threads:

Twitter is great because you can tweet “hi” and someone will tell you you’re wrong.

Seen just now on Pinterest:

Fun fact: sexual tension is more fun than the sex itself.

Just landed via Pinterest:

Getting older is sexy. You moan more.

Going viral on Instagram:

Nice tots you got there. Be a shame if someone tatered em.

Spotted on Discord:

I’d pretend to care about football for you.

Spotted on Discord:

Remember those days when you missed school and you’d check the time and think, “They’re eating right now.”

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