Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇮🇸 has downloaded:

Just had my biannual teeth cleaning like some barn animal.

Someone from 🇮🇳 has bookmarked:

The year I was born, getting a little far on that little scrolly thing.

Someone from 🇰🇬 has viewed:

I forgot my password, failed the captcha and have been accused of being a robot. I don’t even know how to fight these allegations.

Someone from 🇨🇳 has copied:

I heard you like bad boys. Well, I’m bad. At everything.

Someone from 🇸🇴 has shared:

I don’t understand the phrase “You can’t have your cake and eat it” because if I have cake, what the hell else am I supposed to do with it.

Someone from 🇰🇲 has shared:

“The engine light is on!” Yeah, that means it’s working.

Someone from 🇩🇴 has downloaded:

Unless I ask, I genuinely don’t care to hear other people’s opinions on my life. It’s almost a pet peeve, really.

Someone from 🇧🇭 has viewed:

Every day is a D-Day, if you’re a stutterer.

Someone from 🇧🇦 has downloaded:

It’s a paradox that your nose is running and your feet smell.

Someone from 🇷🇼 has bookmarked:

Swimming is so embarrassing, everyone can see you want to be alive.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

359 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,628

Funny Quotes Topics

17,675

Funny Quotes Images

15,628

Updated

Jan 12, 2026

Users Online

3,589

Social Media Log 💫

Broadcasted on Threads:

I don’t understand why “family-run” should be a sign of quality. North Korea, for example, is also family-run and doesn’t convince me at all.

Breaking via LinkedIn:

I threw a ball for my dog. May be a little extravagant, but he looks great in a tux.

Trending via TikTok:

Please be delicate with me, I’m built like a Nature Valley bar.

Just landed via WhatsApp:

My wife and I always eat dinner as fast as possible so we can have a popsicle.

Freshly posted on Messenger:

I liked the version of you from the other dimension better.

Just shared via WhatsApp:

I’ve learned a lot over the years, but the best advice I can ever give someone is never buy a used harmonica.

Trending via Slack:

I respect the moon because it controls three of our most precious entities: oceans, wolves & women.

Just landed via Pinterest:

I always thought orthopaedic shoes were overrated, but I stand corrected.

Freshly posted on Reddit:

People watching you so close, you’d think you were a Netflix series.

Going bananas on Snapchat:

Sometimes, when you go with the flow you end up drowning with everyone else.

Funny narrative quotes

New funny narrative quotes 👇

You ever wake up from your dreams impressed? Like, damn, that narrative structure was phenomenal.

2 weeks ago

analysis, dream, dream analysis, dreams, ever, humor, impressed, narrative, narrative structure, sleep, structure, wake, wake up
Forget about “long story short”… I’m gonna start saying “short story long,” and take you on a journey you didn’t ask for.

1 month ago

ask, conversation, forget, humor, joke, journey, long story, narrative, saying, short, short story, start, story, storytelling, take, unexpected
I love when someone is telling a story and you can tell even from their version that they’re the villain.

2 months ago

character, even, humor, i, irony, love, narrative, perspective, someone, story, tell, version, villain

All funny narrative quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

24 shares on Slack this month:

I don’t even know what I’d do if a sailor called me a landlubber. I’d probably lose my cool.

35 shares on X this month:

If I were to “picture everybody in the room naked,” I would be stunned and in awe of the beauty and diversity of the human form before me. But thanks for the advice.

10 shares on Discord this month:

Don’t even get into my car if you’re just gonna scream every time I hit something.

30 shares on Instagram this month:

I love when women have one daughter as their only child. It’s so incredibly chic.

12 shares on Snapchat this month:

Relationship goal: synchronizing our eye rolls.

29 shares on Messenger this month:

It’s called single sign-on because you have to do it every single time.

60 shares on Discord this month:

A two-year old is kind of like having a blender, but you don’t have a top for it.

49 shares on Threads this month:

Why is being alive so expensive? I’m not even having a good time.

13 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Who’s your favorite horror director? Mine’s God.

20 shares on WeChat this month:

Japanese cats answering the phone be like, “Meowshi meowshi.”

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇿🇲 has bookmarked:

When I’m dying, please rush me to the nearest haunted house. I don’t want to haunt a shitty apartment by myself.

Someone from 🇧🇿 has shared:

When I’m drafting a legal document, I’ll sprinkle the word “herein” all over that thing like it’s paprika.

Someone from 🇼🇸 has viewed:

Kinda sucks that the prize for washing your laundry is getting to fold your laundry.

Someone from 🇬🇾 has bookmarked:

That one person who has zero concept of what an indoor voice is.

Someone from 🇦🇸 has copied:

I’m sorry I mistook all our laughs, long nights, sweet texts, and inside jokes as you caring. I’ll think twice before wasting my time again.

Someone from 🇹🇯 has copied:

Imagine being hungry and some guy tries to teach you to fish.

Someone from 🇷🇴 has bookmarked:

The purpose of life is to go insane sooner or later.

Someone from 🇸🇪 has downloaded:

HR: “Please complete our anonymous survey.” My boss then later: “Don’t forget the survey, HR said you are the last one from our team.”

Someone from 🇱🇺 has bookmarked:

I lost my job at NASA Mission Control today. I misheard when they said, “It’s lunch time.”

Someone from 🇳🇷 has viewed:

Genies are a myth perpetuated by creepy lamps who just want to get rubbed more.

Social Media Log 💫

Spreading quickly via Messenger:

We keep a potato masher in a drawer because sometimes it’s fun to not be able to open that drawer.

Spreading quickly via X:

Most of Twitter could probably use a good bop on the nose with a rolled-up newspaper.

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

I wish my Fitbit could track all the steps I’ve taken trying to find where I put it.

Going bananas on Discord:

I told myself I’d behave today. Then I saw my reflection and thought, maybe tomorrow.

Going bananas on YouTube:

I don’t know which is worse, people stealing your jokes or people not stealing your jokes.

Going viral on LinkedIn:

Being strange is exhausting.

Spreading quickly via WhatsApp:

People without a sense of humor should not be allowed to decide what people with a sense of humor are allowed to laugh at.

Seen just now on Reddit:

I hate to brag, but I’ve been the biggest mistake of numerous people’s lives.

Spotted on WeChat:

Born to say “are you f*****g stupid”, forced to say “wow, I’ve never thought about it like that before”.

Trending via Threads:

The problem with “treat yourself” is that I don’t know how to stop. I had a bad day in March, and I’ve been treating myself ever since.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Funny narrative quotes

New funny narrative quotes 👇

You ever wake up from your dreams impressed? Like, damn, that narrative structure was phenomenal.

Forget about “long story short”… I’m gonna start saying “short story long,” and take you on a journey you didn’t ask for.

I love when someone is telling a story and you can tell even from their version that they’re the villain.

All funny narrative quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨