Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇿 has downloaded:

I’m not calling anyone daddy unless I’m asking for money for the mall.

Someone from 🇿🇲 has downloaded:

Wait, making the right choices is an option?!

Someone from 🇱🇧 has downloaded:

Middle-aged math is going out drinking and feeling half your age then waking up the next morning feeling twice your age.

Someone from 🇫🇯 has viewed:

I wish laying in bed all day made me rich.

Someone from 🇲🇰 has bookmarked:

Until further notice the days of the week are now called thisday, thatday, otherday, someday, yesterday, today and nextday!

Someone from 🇳🇦 has bookmarked:

To all the people with grammatical issues, don’t worry, I also have problems with badly timed periods.

Someone from 🇲🇿 has shared:

I’m thinking of maybe killing off a few characters in the book I’m writing. That will really spice up my autobiography.

Someone from 🇹🇼 has copied:

It’s amazing to think that a Penguin wrote all of those classic books.

Someone from 🇸🇩 has copied:

Sure, you can invite more people to the plans we made 2 months ago. The more, the merrier. Also, I’m not going now.

Someone from 🇬🇲 has downloaded:

The house from Hansel and Gretel but made out of tacos.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,362

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Snapchat:

Having a low-quality camera will definitely force you to keep your life private.

Spotted on Telegram:

Me to HR: Okay, but you have to admit that was funny.

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

Wow, pretty rude for people to exist who are younger and hotter than me, but OK.

Making waves on Discord:

Halloween is cool, but nothing is spookier than my previous choices in men.

Trending via Threads:

Guy who thinks “generational trauma” means it’s like the goat of trauma.

Going viral on Facebook:

I sent you a message telepathically and you didn’t respond. Are you mad at me?

Breaking via Telegram:

Whoever named them fitting rooms has a lot of nerve.

Seen just now on Pinterest:

I want to be in Metallica, and they will not let me.

Live now on WeChat:

Butterflies all seem so nice but I’ll bet some of them are real bastards.

Making waves on Telegram:

According to the smoke alarm, the food is ready.

Funny new plan quotes

Funny new plan quotes are perfect for those moments when life throws curveballs 🎢 and your brilliant ideas need a little twist 🤪. Whether you’re starting fresh or just winging it, these witty sayings add a splash of humor to your next big move 💡✨. Ready to laugh at the chaos and embrace the unexpected? Let’s dive into some clever lines that make planning way more fun! 😂🔥

New funny new plan quotes 👇

All funny new plan quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Random Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

86 shares on Reddit this month:

Dollar Tree need to just go ahead and change the name to Tree of Unexpected Prices.

82 shares on Facebook this month:

All the fruit flies are well-behaved near the garbage, only one is constantly nagging somewhere else because it thinks it has to discover new lands.

58 shares on WeChat this month:

Everyone is all “love is patient” during the wedding, but when there’s a long line for the open bar, not so much.

73 shares on WhatsApp this month:

I’ve spent 80% of my adult life resetting my password.

34 shares on Facebook this month:

I just want someone who can see through all my bullshit and hate me for who I really am.

20 shares on Reddit this month:

My wife rearranged the kitchen cabinets, and now I’ll never eat again.

60 shares on Slack this month:

Welcome to Netflix. We have every movie but the one you actually want to watch.

18 shares on Twitch this month:

“You’re at the age where both 1990 and 2003 are flirting with you.”

66 shares on Snapchat this month:

Glory hole but for forehead kisses.

36 shares on YouTube this month:

“I’m getting tired of everything being 100 dollars and 100 degrees.”

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

12 folks are currently checking 👀

I touched grass today, and I’m still like this. Please advise.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

At the self-checkout, I make small talk with myself and I wish I would just shut up.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

Never underestimate my ability to effortlessly make something more difficult than it needs to be.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

It’s obvious now that democracy is a busted flush and that in future politicians should be selected via several rigorous rounds of Taskmaster.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

Refusing to make eye contact with anyone while I eat my banana.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

Does your life really flash before your eyes or is it just your brain closing all open tabs one last time.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

Girls actually do love nice guys. It’s just that you’re not as nice a guy as you think you are…

14 folks are currently checking 👀

It goes like this: You are born and then you basically do almost everything wrong. Then you die.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

Hell hath no fury like a sports bra being applied to a just showered but not 100% dry body.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

No ChatGPT for me, thanks. I will be asking Liam Gallagher on Twitter.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,597

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇪 has shared:

The collective noun for a group of reply guys is an audacity.

Someone from 🇹🇹 has downloaded:

Normalize having a threatening aura, but really just being a sweetheart.

Someone from 🇳🇱 has shared:

The Sims fulfills the millennial fantasy of being able to afford a house in a walkable neighborhood on the salary of a professional carrot peeler.

Someone from 🇦🇬 has viewed:

Coke Zero sounds like a government pledge to eliminate fizzy drinks by 2030.

Someone from 🇧🇸 has bookmarked:

There are two classes of travel: first class and with children.

Someone from 🇪🇪 has downloaded:

I came up with my passwords when I was 12, and never looked back.

Someone from 🇵🇦 has downloaded:

Tornados are just a bunch of ghosts fighting over a cow.

Someone from 🇲🇱 has shared:

Never underestimate the healing power of a grilled cheese sandwich.

Someone from 🇸🇧 has bookmarked:

“You’re in her DMs, my faint presence sits in her Spotify Wrapped through the music I introduced her to. We’re not the same.”

Someone from 🇳🇴 has viewed:

That sound when you close the cupboard and hear something fall inside, that’s the sound of somebody else’s problem.

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Telegram:

Have an early flight tomorrow, so naturally I’m going to stay up late tonight and be weird in my room.

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

Science has enough bodies, I’m donating mine to English lit just to spice things up a bit.

Live now on Facebook:

If a woman watches a TV show alone, who answers all of her questions?

Spotted on Discord:

If I ever went to jail for murder, it would be for murdering my printer.

Trending via YouTube:

The police said I was a ‘suspect’, but I prefer being called a ‘person of interest’.

Going bananas on Pinterest:

I stopped writing “Feel free to reach out if you need anything else” at the end of my emails because please don’t do that.

Just shared via Pinterest:

The more I parent the more convinced I am that the ears on toddlers are purely for decoration.

Going viral on TikTok:

If you ever get a chance to date a cute person for one day, where will you take me?

Going viral on Threads:

At my age, this “microsleep” can sometimes last hours.

Freshly posted on Twitch:

My son was praying for “everybody in the world.” If you suddenly start experiencing good fortune, you’re welcome.

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