Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇰🇼 has viewed:

Made my last mortgage payment. Yay! I still owe a lot, I’m just not paying anymore.

Someone from 🇹🇻 has shared:

My favorite machine at the gym is the one where you put change in, and snacks come out.

Someone from 🇬🇪 has shared:

Sometimes uncontrollable laughter is all you need to get the millions of thoughts out of your head.

Someone from 🇳🇿 has copied:

People who have apartment windows that face the street and put their Christmas trees in them, thank you for your service.

Someone from 🇹🇹 has copied:

Why steal office supplies from work when you could take an extra-long bathroom break and steal company time instead?

Someone from 🇪🇨 has downloaded:

Any time I have ever uttered the phrase “no worries” I have been lying. There are many worries.

Someone from 🇮🇪 has bookmarked:

There should be a website where you post your wishes, and rich people who don’t know what to do with their money give you an anonymous gift.

Someone from 🇯🇴 has viewed:

I am never hungrier than when I leave the dentist and told I can’t eat right away.

Someone from 🇳🇵 has shared:

Does anyone know the password to my work computer? Or how to do my job?

Someone from 🇬🇳 has bookmarked:

Unfortunately, I’m gonna have to cancel my appointment at a sperm bank. I will just call them and say I can’t come.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,615

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on TikTok:

Is it cool if I come into your life and just never leave, like a stray cat?

Just landed via Reddit:

I stopped understanding math when the alphabet decided to get involved.

Going viral on WhatsApp:

I’m looking for a moisturizer to hide the fact that I’ve been tired since 2010.

Just landed via WeChat:

Parallel parking: where true relationships are tested!

Trending via LinkedIn:

You will be having the worst morning of your life and then someone will start mowing their lawn.

Going viral on TikTok:

Sign at the zoo says “don’t stick your hand in the alligator cage”. Thanks, but I’ll do my own research.

Shared recently on Pinterest:

My CV is so good, companies are still reading it for 9 months.

Just landed via Messenger:

Theo Von’s entire life is like a raccoon that visits New York City.

Shared recently on Instagram:

There are approximately 1,010,300 words in the English language, but I could never string enough words together to properly express how much I want to hit you with a chair.

Just landed via Pinterest:

The only sunscreen that’s 100% effective is abstinence.

Funny nightclub quotes

Funny nightclub quotes bring the wild vibes and hilarious moments of dance floors to life 🎉💃 Whether you’re dodging awkward moves or celebrating epic nights out, these witty lines capture the party spirit perfectly 🍸🕺 Get ready to laugh, relate, and maybe even share your own clubbing tales—because nothing beats a night filled with good beats and great jokes! 🎤✨

New funny nightclub quotes 👇

All funny nightclub quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes
🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

57 shares on TikTok this month:

Who knew that the hardest part of being an adult is figuring out what to cook for dinner every single night for the rest of your life.

33 shares on Discord this month:

A clever man fills his wife’s closet with so many clothes that no other man can fit in.

19 shares on Threads this month:

Sorry for acting weird, I am weird, and it will happen again.

18 shares on Messenger this month:

Once I find a dragon, y’all are toast.

43 shares on Threads this month:

What kind of psychopath wants to be the life of the party?

37 shares on Messenger this month:

It’s our first time on Earth, so why are you a life coach?

79 shares on Telegram this month:

People don’t realize how hard you ride for them until you park.

10 shares on Messenger this month:

People my age are on baby #2, and I’m on drink #5.

55 shares on X this month:

Some days you’re the quick brown fox and other days you’re the lazy dog.

83 shares on Reddit this month:

Friends come and go, like the waves of the ocean, but the true ones stay like an octopus on your face.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

8 folks are currently checking 👀

“I’m a very sleepy person, just at all the wrong times.”

18 folks are currently checking 👀

Sorry I’m late — I was standing in the shower, thinking about stuff.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

Fog. When nature is too lazy to load the complete environment.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

You never realize how long a minute is until you’re doing cardio.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

I used to sell furniture for a living. The trouble was, it was my own.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

You can never really “own” earbuds. You just have to appreciate the time you had together.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

I hate lying to my parents but it’s for their own good.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

Aren’t you a little old to be a bully?

24 folks are currently checking 👀

We should start referring to age as “levels.” So when you’re level 80, it sounds a lot cooler than just being an older person.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

You’re either snacking with me or snacking against me.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,683

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇴 has viewed:

Not now, honey. I’m talking to strangers on the internet.

Someone from 🇨🇩 has shared:

You can fake a smile, but you can’t fake jazz hands.

Someone from 🇪🇹 has shared:

The way Christmas shopping expects me to have money right now is, honestly, disrespectful.

Someone from 🇱🇸 has shared:

I love diss tracks because it’s basically two dudes going, “grr, we hate each other so much we’re going to take turns writing increasingly personalized poetry!”

Someone from 🇳🇮 has viewed:

I can’t tell if I need coffee, a hug, or to just go live in the woods forever.

Someone from 🇱🇹 has shared:

I was going to warn my kids about the repercussions of drugs and alcohol until I realized that they in fact were the repercussions of drugs and alcohol.

Someone from 🇵🇰 has downloaded:

What if babies had two umbilical cords and if you cut the wrong one, it exploded?

Someone from 🇷🇺 has shared:

My kidnappers sent me back early with a full apology, some money, and several of their fingers.

Someone from 🇦🇷 has viewed:

An apple a day keeps the doctor away, but if the doctor is cute, forget the fruit.

Someone from 🇵🇰 has bookmarked:

Ever since I learned about the concept of networking, I knew I was going to have to do everything alone and do it the hard way.

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Telegram:

Roses are red, I’m staying in bed. I’ve made no plans, besides pretending I’m dead.

Spotted on Snapchat:

It’s completely absurd that Silicon Valley is pushing AI on us before they figured out how to keep fries fresh for longer.

Breaking via WhatsApp:

Sorry, I can’t go out this weekend. I went out last weekend, and I’m still recovering from that.

Spreading quickly via Facebook:

Good luck sending me mixed signals. Most the time I can’t even understand the direct ones.

Freshly posted on Reddit:

So much anger in this small little body. I feel like a chihuahua.

Making waves on Instagram:

I just want a man to look at me the way Doc from ‘Back to the Future’ looks when something exciting happens.

Seen just now on Reddit:

Don’t ever let a recipe tell you how much cheese you need to add, everyone knows cheese is measured with the heart.

Freshly posted on Telegram:

I would love to have children one day. Two days maximum.

Shared recently on Snapchat:

Adulthood is just waking up tired one day, and then being tired forever after that.

Broadcasted on TikTok:

That urge to nap between 3pm – 5pm is no joke.

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