Commentary:
Looks like the web developer is keen on expanding their search query optimization skills everywhere they go! Meanwhile, the SEO expert is probably already eyeing up the bar's meta tags and keyword density for a potential improvement project.
Cheers to a night of optimizing and imbibing in equal measure!
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Eating nothing but beer for a month and calling that Oktoberfast.
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When I get to work, I always hide first, because a good worker is always hard to find.
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I don’t want flying cars, I want the ability to start again from my last save point.
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A dating app that matches people by the conspiracy theories they are interested in.
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Welcome to your 40s, you now don’t understand a single word anyone under 25 is saying.
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When people say something is cray-cray it makes me wanna vom-vom.
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A funny thing about the Heimlich Maneuver is that it’s impossible to pronounce if you’re choking.
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I’m ready for a new relationship. My past is buried in the backyard, to fertilize the tomatoes.
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The key to a healthy relationship is taking turns being the sad one.
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Who called it a missed phone call from your parents and not a boomer rang?
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I had an irrational fear of bees until I saw My Girl and it became rational.
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I wish every day had 30,000 hours, and that I had unlimited Adderall and was unemployed.
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Feeling like Floyd in this May weather (illiterate and violent).
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I wonder if that football guy will be at the Taylor Swift game again today.
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I want a small, tasteful wedding. No family. No friends. No groom. Just me eating a big cake.
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Everyone gives pleasure in some way, one when they enter a room, the other when they leave it.
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In my opinion, those who go jogging on a Sunday morning certainly don’t have a comfortable sofa.
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If you’re happy and you know it, keep it to yourself. No one likes a braggart.
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