Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇿 has copied:

If you’re a squatter, every day is leg day.

Someone from 🇸🇪 has viewed:

I had bad luck with women twice. The first left me, the second stayed.

Someone from 🇲🇷 has viewed:

During childbirth, women are in so much pain that it is almost possible for them to feel what men have to endure when they have a cold.

Someone from 🇦🇪 has viewed:

Third wheeling with two girls who are best friends is so much worse than third wheeling a couple.

Someone from 🇪🇬 has copied:

When kids try to guess your age it will either be completely flattering or utterly devastating, but never correct.

Someone from 🇬🇳 has copied:

I love how all the movies about teenagers have to be set in the 90s or earlier otherwise we’d just be watching kids on their phones for two hours.

Someone from 🇱🇺 has copied:

Sorry, can’t. I’m too busy growing new neural pathways to make space for a stranger’s opinion. Evolution takes bandwidth, man.

Someone from 🇰🇼 has viewed:

Any place is a walkable city if you’re broke enough.

Someone from 🇨🇷 has copied:

You should be able to mute someone in real life. Annoying coworker? Silence them for 24 hours by booping them on the nose!

Someone from 🇵🇦 has viewed:

I am on my second week of biweekly pay so today I will be showing you how to make a quesadilla out of paper towels.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,431

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Discord:

Don’t let the British accent fool you. I’m not saying anything smart.

Trending via WhatsApp:

Hi there, I very much look forward to letting you down.

Broadcasted on Reddit:

I often message people with the weird idea that they’ll message me back.

Going viral on X:

It’s a shame that the know-it-alls know everything better but don’t do anything better.

Breaking via Threads:

Let the kids believe in Santa. I believed the Undertaker and Kane were brothers.

Seen just now on X:

My longest relationship has been with my Hotmail account.

Making waves on Pinterest:

I’ve been called a lot of things in my life, but nothing worse than being called on the phone.

Going bananas on LinkedIn:

Olympic gymnast: does the most amazing thing I have ever seen in my entire life. Announcer: Oh dear, that will be a point deduction.

Going viral on WeChat:

My brain is on airplane mode today.

Going bananas on Slack:

Relationship tip: Make sure you’re the crazy one.

Funny noodle quotes

Funny noodle quotes 🍜✨ are a slurpy celebration of all things pasta-tively hilarious! Whether you’re twirling spaghetti or slurping ramen, these witty words add a sprinkle of joy to every bite 😄🍥. Perfect for sharing with fellow noodle lovers, they turn mealtime into a laugh-out-loud moment. Get ready to giggle and noodle your way through some seriously saucy humor! 😋🎉

New funny noodle quotes 👇

All funny noodle quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes
🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

70 shares on Discord this month:

Your password must contain a character… with a tragic backstory.

69 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Why can’t I cry money instead of tears?

12 shares on Reddit this month:

Dogs come when they’re called; cats take a message and get back to you later.

83 shares on Pinterest this month:

‘You’re going to die alone!’ Okay, when did dying become a group project?

31 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Thunder is fake. It doesn’t even sync up properly with lightning. There’s some guy who waits till he sees lightning and then he presses the thunder button.

18 shares on X this month:

Acting jealous while secretly cheating is a pure talent of witchcraft.

70 shares on WeChat this month:

Why did Star Wars Episodes 4, 5 & 6 come out before 1,2 & 3? Because in charge of directing, Yoda was.

58 shares on WeChat this month:

No matter how old you are, when the kitchen roll is empty, you have a telescope.

62 shares on Reddit this month:

Reoccurring dreams be like: ‘I dunno, here’s a rerun’

84 shares on Snapchat this month:

If it’s a ghost ship, why does it have to be on water?

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

10 folks are currently checking 👀

How do they know an animal is extinct? Like, have you really looked everywhere?

16 folks are currently checking 👀

Bears and worms have almost nothing in common. But gummy bears and gummy worms? Very similar.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

My name is Bob but my friends don’t call me.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

“I’m asking Santa to bring some of you a sense of humor for Christmas.”

13 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m always sad when my sandwich is over.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

I was going to go for a run, then realized I could just run my mouth on here.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

Due to financial reasons, I will now be performing photosynthesis.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

Days without shaking my head disapprovingly at myself: 0.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m trying to shower you with affection. It doesn’t matter how I got into your bathroom.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

I thought my friends in their 60s were making love in the other room but they were just putting on their socks.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,393

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇮🇪 has copied:

Females be cheating in healthy relationships, but are faithful in toxic ones.

Someone from 🇲🇱 has bookmarked:

Is Craigslist still around, or did everyone over there get murdered?

Someone from 🇿🇼 has viewed:

Dating apps aren’t working. I’ll see ya at Home Depot, gentlemen.

Someone from 🇰🇳 has copied:

This meeting could have been a cave painting.

Someone from 🇬🇶 has bookmarked:

Since I’ve stayed away from most people, I get on much better with people.

Someone from 🇳🇬 has bookmarked:

“Unavailable” is my favorite state to be in.

Someone from 🇮🇳 has bookmarked:

We should be able to go to the bar and drink to watch Love Island, like men do with sports.

Someone from 🇿🇦 has downloaded:

If you say something while exhaling smoke, it is 10 times more profound.

Someone from 🇬🇲 has bookmarked:

Just when you’ve built some confidence that you’re a smarter than average human, universe sends you captcha.

Someone from 🇪🇬 has copied:

I just sneezed my wife awake from a nap so any discussion about renewing vows is on hold for a bit.

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Facebook:

My dating checklist is down to “not the Unabomber”.

Seen just now on Telegram:

You don’t have to be crazy to hang out with me. I’ll train you.

Seen just now on WeChat:

The rule should be: if you can smell the cookout, you’re invited to the cookout.

Going viral on X:

I just refuse to take a single bite of my food until I find something good to watch.

Just shared via Threads:

If biscuits were slimming and contained every nutrient the human body needs, I’d be in terrific shape.

Making waves on TikTok:

I’m not lazy, I just really enjoy doing nothing.

Seen just now on Slack:

I ghost family members too, so believe me, bro — it’s not personal.

Just shared via Reddit:

Which is it, brain? Does nothing matter or do I need to be anxious about everything?

Seen just now on Telegram:

I will never sell out my integrity unless I am offered something for it.

Freshly posted on Messenger:

Every time I blink, it’s Monday again. I can’t live like this.

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