Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇨 has copied:

This post is invisible, and only those going to Hell can see it.

Someone from 🇹🇹 has bookmarked:

They’re releasing another “Jurassic” movie. Let me guess: The dinosaurs get loose.

Someone from 🇱🇦 has shared:

That’s just brainslop. You only came up with that by thinking.

Someone from 🇧🇦 has copied:

Sorry, I can’t hang out. I don’t know enough words.

Someone from 🇲🇦 has shared:

I have lots of hidden talents. The problem is, even I can’t find them.

Someone from 🇱🇾 has downloaded:

Being informed is the worst thing I’ve ever done for my mental health.

Someone from 🇪🇪 has viewed:

I am the human version of tangled headphones.

Someone from 🇹🇲 has downloaded:

Pinterest recipe so long that it’s now a limited series on Netflix.

Someone from 🇭🇺 has downloaded:

A fun thing to do on a first date is wear a wedding dress.

Someone from 🇺🇦 has copied:

Welcome to Twitter, where everyone is an expert on everything.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,539

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

I may not have lost all my marbles yet, but there’s a small hole in the bag somewhere.

Broadcasted on Pinterest:

I have a condition where if I don’t walk as fast as humanly possible wherever I go, I will die. I’m like the bus in Speed.

Trending via Snapchat:

Social media is proof that even mental hospitals have WiFi.

Spreading quickly via Messenger:

Being in a rich person’s house is so stressful. Like, why am I struggling to find the trash?

Live now on X:

I want to live in a world where TV sitcoms have catchy theme songs again.

Just landed via WeChat:

Went out of town, came back and the roomba changed all the locks.

Trending via YouTube:

They should invent a “stay signed in” checkbox that isn’t meaningless.

Seen just now on Reddit:

I missed out on drowning tragically young in a suburban swimming pool.

Trending via WeChat:

I have friends in high places (birds).

Seen just now on Discord:

When I die, I hope it’s early in the morning, so I don’t have to go to work that day for no reason.

Funny Nosferatu quotes

Funny Nosferatu quotes 🧛‍♂️😆 bring a spooky twist to your day with a dash of undead humor! Whether you’re a horror fan or just love quirky laughs, these witty lines from the iconic vampire will have you grinning like a bat in the night 🌙🦇. Get ready to fang-tastic chuckles and eerie giggles that bite back!

New funny Nosferatu quotes 👇

All funny Nosferatu quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Funny Quotes Collections
✨ New Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

43 shares on Twitch this month:

Desperately searching the dating app settings for an option to turn down the difficulty level.

53 shares on Pinterest this month:

Andrew Tate is what you’d get if Axe body spray gained consciousness.

88 shares on Telegram this month:

Have you tried complaining about it?

40 shares on X this month:

I don’t want to brag but I walked into a room and remembered why I walked in.

27 shares on Facebook this month:

I’m not “late”, I’m just very creative with my interpretation of “time”.

40 shares on YouTube this month:

Deja poo is when you feel like you’ve heard the same shit before.

39 shares on X this month:

The way some people hold their cell phone to make a call, I always think they’re trying to take a bite out of a sandwich.

44 shares on Discord this month:

No more bare minimum, I want the moon and the stars. Maybe even a planet at this point.

65 shares on TikTok this month:

The term “bisexual” is so confusing. Are you sexual twice a week or once every other week?

36 shares on YouTube this month:

Sex is cool but have you ever had your bed all to yourself.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

14 folks are currently checking 👀

Most people think that T-Rexes can’t clap because they have short arms, but really it’s because they’re dead.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

Every time I leave the house, I’m reminded why sweatpants exist.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

Body: time to fall asleep. Brain: hey, that’s an interesting thought, here’s six billion more.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

The night is dark and full of terrors. My day is long and full of meetings. Same thing.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

Clearly I’m not doing Dry January unless you mean sense of humor.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

Big city friend is complaining about a 10 minute wait for a subway while I sit here waiting for the rail replacement horse.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

I just realized boobytrap backwards spells partyboob.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

Me, as a therapist: “OMG, me too!”

11 folks are currently checking 👀

Everyone is a genius until they try to use someone else’s microwave.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

Looking forward to another year of crushing reality and unfulfilled dreams.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,509

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇮🇹 has shared:

If you give a man a fish, he’ll eat for a day. But if you teach a man to fish, you’ll get the house to yourself on Saturdays.

Someone from 🇲🇪 has bookmarked:

I want my house spotless, but kicking my kids out seems wrong.

Someone from 🇭🇷 has shared:

Outside letting mosquitoes get some of this.

Someone from 🇬🇹 has downloaded:

There is no ‘we’ in ‘food’.

Someone from 🇨🇱 has copied:

Based on the amount of laundry I wash each week, I’m starting to think there are people who live here that I haven’t met yet.

Someone from 🇮🇹 has bookmarked:

Venn diagrams. You either love ‘em or you hate ‘em. Or you’re somewhere in the middle.

Someone from 🇳🇮 has bookmarked:

The good news is that I’ve been finding new ways to waste my time.

Someone from 🇹🇼 has downloaded:

Humans were not meant to have this many passwords.

Someone from 🇨🇷 has copied:

Little kid on the plane to Boston says “do they speak English there?” and his mom says “kinda!”

Someone from 🇧🇹 has copied:

You befriend a guy and a few days later he’s like “I wanna talk to you about something”. Please, God, let it be about the economy.

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Pinterest:

People think I’m a minimalist, but I’m just broke.

Trending via Reddit:

Sorry for having no idea what the hell I am doing. It will happen again.

Just landed via WhatsApp:

Some people can eat anything they want and stay slim. I put on weight just by reading the recipe.

Seen just now on Threads:

Cancel culture has been canceled.

Just landed via Pinterest:

Cleaned the bathroom window. Wasn’t frosted glass at all.

Just landed via Messenger:

If I was in Jaws, instead of wishing for a bigger boat, I probably would have just asked for a smaller shark.

Going viral on WeChat:

Confucius says: “Those who drink a lot die earlier, but have seen twice as much in life.”

Shared recently on X:

After 30, an all-nighter is not getting up to pee.

Seen just now on Slack:

I deserve a treat when I have a bad week, but I also deserve a treat when I have a good week. I simply always deserve treats.

Just landed via Discord:

The concept of hot water showers feeling so good but not actually being good for your hair or skin is disgusting.

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