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10,000+ funny quotes

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Someone from 🇻🇺 has downloaded:

Every time I get the urge to clean, I watch Hoarders and I decide my house isn’t that dirty after all.

Someone from 🇦🇸 has shared:

When people give me directions and they’re like “you can’t miss it,” I’m like, “Oh, you do not know what I’m capable of.”

Someone from 🇲🇲 has downloaded:

My cat’s in a bad mood, despite eating and sleeping all day.

Someone from 🇹🇴 has copied:

If I was lying down and someone came up and gave me tons of kisses and smooshed my face, I’d love it. I don’t know what my cat’s problem is.

Someone from 🇳🇱 has viewed:

I deserve an Oscar for telling my dentist I don’t eat candy.

Someone from 🇰🇲 has downloaded:

Yoda, seeing himself in 4K: HDMI

Someone from 🇧🇬 has bookmarked:

I won $6 on a scratch-off last night. Out of my way, peasants!

Someone from 🇵🇾 has viewed:

“You let your cat on the bed?” I would put her on my life insurance.

Someone from 🇸🇮 has bookmarked:

I didn’t buy that thing I wanted but didn’t need, so I celebrated by buying a different thing I wanted but didn’t need.

Someone from 🇱🇸 has bookmarked:

Next month is May. May all the money come to me.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

241 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,510

Funny Quotes Topics

17,577

Funny Quotes Images

15,510

Updated

Jan 7, 2026

Users Online

3,705

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Instagram:

Starting all my work emails today with, “to whom it’s about to concern”.

Spreading quickly via Facebook:

The angel and devil on my shoulders are both completely fed up with me.

Trending via Reddit:

If you’re curious what the priciest item in a store is just bring a kid along because they’ll definitely find then break it.

Shared recently on Facebook:

You can make friends in a doctor’s waiting room as long as you have something broken and not something coughing.

Just shared via Slack:

I don’t even want a new year this year. I’ll take a lightly used 2006, if it’s available.

Freshly posted on Reddit:

Everyone’s a gangster until it’s time to pronounce Worcestershire Sauce.

Going bananas on YouTube:

I’m only drinking a lot of beer tonight because I need the room in the fridge.

Making waves on Messenger:

Being friends with introverts is hard sometimes. Did they die? Are they just recharging? Are they Batman now? The suspense is killing me.

Spotted on Facebook:

I had a healthy appendix removed, just to show the other organs that I will not tolerate any bullshit.

Trending via Discord:

I have 206 bones, 650 muscles and 50 billion cells in my body. It takes time to wake up all of them up in the morning.

Funny office work quotes

New funny office work quotes 👇

Working my first office job. Is it normal to have nothing to do?

0

2 months ago

boredom, first job, humor, job, lack, lack of task, normal, nothing, office, office work, task, work, working, workplace, workplace humor

Someone from 🇧🇾 has recently bookmarked this quote.

32 shares on LinkedIn this month.

All funny office work quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

45 shares on Snapchat this month:

The rumors of my will to live have been greatly exaggerated.

83 shares on LinkedIn this month:

An adult is a person who makes noise when they stand up.

30 shares on Slack this month:

In contrast to the ship, the movie Titanic was quite well received in America.

44 shares on Messenger this month:

It’s romantic to fall in love during the collapse of society.

18 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Gonna toot my own horn here because I made it through another day without turning any of my feelings into felonies.

96 shares on X this month:

How many exercise videos do you have to buy before you get some results?

70 shares on Discord this month:

If your drinking story doesn’t involve law enforcement, I’m not listening.

11 shares on Threads this month:

I’m always in a rush to go home, and do absolutely nothing.

30 shares on Slack this month:

Apparently it’s inappropriate to yell out “Shots, shots, shots, shots” while your child’s getting immunizations at the pediatrician’s office.

67 shares on TikTok this month:

I don’t know why we traded horses for cars. Your car won’t stop in front of a river and be like, “no way dumbass, we aren’t going to make that.”

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇼 has viewed:

Somewhere there’s a girl ignoring 15 guys for a guy who gives her no attention.

Someone from 🇵🇦 has downloaded:

One downside of marrying a doctor is you have to give up eating apples.

Someone from 🇹🇿 has copied:

Might start a YouTube channel “will it hurt if I drop it on my foot”.

Someone from 🇪🇨 has viewed:

“OMG I love your personality,” thanks, it’s a disorder.

Someone from 🇸🇾 has viewed:

I passed my genetic engineering exam with flying koalas.

Someone from 🇧🇭 has copied:

Welcome to adulthood: your chin looks lonely, here’s another one.

Someone from 🇲🇾 has downloaded:

Unfortunately, I’m gonna have to cancel my appointment at a sperm bank. I will just call them and say I can’t come.

Someone from 🇲🇰 has shared:

I read somewhere on the internet that 87% of what you read on the internet isn’t true, and I believe it.

Someone from 🇫🇮 has shared:

Careful, “friend”. One more word about Shakira and you might find out just how fast I can draw this blade.

Someone from 🇧🇸 has bookmarked:

Your annoying online persona has captured my heart.

Social Media Log 💫

Going bananas on Telegram:

No one knows what I’m up to, not even me.

Just shared via Facebook:

I hate starting new relationships. I gotta act like I ain’t crazy for two months.

Spotted on Snapchat:

This going into the office stuff blows. Like, I seriously have to wear clothes now.

Just shared via Telegram:

Sorry for zoning out, bro. It’s just, I’ve been having a bad day for several years.

Making waves on Twitch:

Does anyone know if there’s a career in being a piece of shit?

Spotted on WeChat:

You didn’t let me know you got home safely so you better at least be injured or I’m gonna be pissed.

Spreading quickly via Instagram:

I don’t want to alarm anyone, but my doctor says I have an irreversible terminal condition called aging.

Trending via Pinterest:

Bought an eggplant, imma grow my own eggs.

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

One of the top features of squirrels, for me, has got to be that squirreliness.

Spreading quickly via LinkedIn:

The older I get, the more I understand why roosters just scream to start their day.

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Activity Log ✨

Funny office work quotes

New funny office work quotes 👇

Working my first office job. Is it normal to have nothing to do?

All funny office work quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

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