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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇰🇼 has shared:

I can’t decide if people who wear pajamas in public have given up on life or are living it to the fullest.

Someone from 🇺🇿 has shared:

Anyone know how to get an air guitar out of a vacuum?

Someone from 🇵🇾 has shared:

Imagine hating me and I’m just over here trying to remember how to spell “definitely”.

Someone from 🇮🇳 has downloaded:

Okay, that’s enough todaying for today.

Someone from 🇱🇦 has shared:

Forced to say “it’s okay” instead of throwing a chair at them.

Someone from 🇴🇲 has shared:

Tonight I will make history, by turning off incognito mode.

Someone from 🇨🇩 has copied:

Olympic gymnast: does the most amazing thing I have ever seen in my entire life. Announcer: Oh dear, that will be a point deduction.

Someone from 🇸🇮 has copied:

I should’ve been a crow. They get to fly around looking goth as hell and seeking retribution. Instead, I have to go to an office and work on my ‘people skills.’

Someone from 🇲🇨 has copied:

Some people peak in high school. I peaked when I realized I never had to see them again.

Someone from 🇰🇭 has copied:

Remember, if you start with, “It’s crazy to think…” you can say whatever you want.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

94 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,363

Funny Quotes Topics

17,479

Funny Quotes Images

15,363

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,354

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Messenger:

Ever since I was a little girl I knew I wanted to leave work early.

Making waves on X:

I am “any text received after 9pm will be answered at 6am” years old.

Live now on WeChat:

You look like you can go as yourself for Halloween.

Seen just now on WeChat:

I like work; it fascinates me. I can sit and look at it for hours.

Making waves on Messenger:

The next James Bond should be weird. Like he wears a train conductor’s hat and is afraid of balloons.

Just shared via Threads:

Scams used to be like “free money!” and now they’re like “hello, we have a job for you”, which seems to be a bad sign.

Spotted on Facebook:

Some days you’re the shit and some days you’re the fan.

Seen just now on Discord:

It’s Friday. Rules don’t apply.

Live now on X:

I lied, there’s no sex. Can you tell me a bedtime story?

Making waves on Twitch:

Not to brag but I am evidence of things unseen.

Funny online identity quotes

Funny online identity quotes 😂💻 capture the quirky, wild, and sometimes mysterious personas we craft in the digital world 🌐✨. Whether you’re a meme master, emoji enthusiast, or keyboard ninja, these witty lines highlight how we express ourselves behind screens 🤳🦄. Ready to laugh at the virtual masks we wear? Dive into the playful side of your online self and get inspired to share your own digital vibe! 🚀🔥

New funny online identity quotes 👇

All funny online identity quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes
🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

34 shares on WeChat this month:

I’ve never completed a marathon, but I’ve listened to my mom tell a story, so don’t talk to me about endurance.

58 shares on TikTok this month:

Telemarketer: “Hello, am I speaking to the head of the household?” Me, handing the phone to my cat: “It’s for you.”

92 shares on Instagram this month:

This pillow isn’t going to scream into itself.

58 shares on Reddit this month:

My teen is asking for noise-cancelling headphones like I’m going to give him the gift of ignoring me better.

31 shares on Facebook this month:

Hate when anxiety gives me stomach problems. Like, baby, you are supposed to be a mental disorder, please stay in your line.

54 shares on Messenger this month:

She’s the kind of beautiful that makes me do 40 push-ups in my room at 3am.

12 shares on Discord this month:

Waving at the end of every Zoom call like it’s the 1800s and a big steamship is leaving the harbor.

25 shares on Slack this month:

Just took a nap in jeans. No one will ever understand the darkness that lurks inside me.

91 shares on Pinterest this month:

Long-distance couples be like, “I can’t wait,” and then they wait.

22 shares on YouTube this month:

Ever since I was little, I always knew I wanted to retire.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

24 folks are currently checking 👀

When I retire, I’m going to run for office.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

I may not understand women, but cheeseburgers have never sent me mixed signals, and for that they’ll always have my heart.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

I left the house with wet hair and no makeup on, so I’m sure I’ll run into everyone I know.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

Rise and grind your teeth gently while ruminating over every past mistake.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

You ran a half marathon? That’s really cool, I’ve almost finished a bunch of things, too.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

I even procrastinate things I actually want to do.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

Back to work at last! I couldn’t sleep for sheer anticipation.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

Hike in groups. Bears like to have options.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

Trust my gut? The thing that tricks me into buying gas station sushi and roller dogs? No thanks.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

Introverts don’t recharge with sleep, we recharge by being left completely alone for 3–5 business days.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

94 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,363

Funny Quotes Topics

17,479

Funny Quotes Images

15,363

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,579

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇭 has viewed:

Every time I use self-checkout, the person in front of me has never used self-checkout, touchscreens, or money before.

Someone from 🇸🇪 has shared:

That urge to nap between 3pm – 5pm is no joke.

Someone from 🇸🇬 has bookmarked:

Thousands of years ago, cats were worshipped as gods. Cats have never forgotten this.

Someone from 🇧🇭 has copied:

Kids be like, I see you have a moment to yourself, and I must correct that immediately.

Someone from 🇬🇪 has copied:

I’ve decided that I’m going to underthink today.

Someone from 🇲🇽 has bookmarked:

I smoke weed for my mental health and your personal safety.

Someone from 🇦🇫 has copied:

Welcome to middle age. “I carried a watermelon” has gone from a movie quote to something you tell your orthopedist.

Someone from 🇸🇩 has downloaded:

There should be a withering shamrock emoji so that people can express misfortune or Irish grief.

Someone from 🇮🇪 has copied:

On average, my daily actions demonstrate I’m probably good at something else.

Someone from 🇳🇪 has downloaded:

Every time I see a dog with its head out a window, I know it’s having a better day than I am.

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Telegram:

Any time I have ever uttered the phrase “no worries” I have been lying. There are many worries.

Just landed via YouTube:

As an outsider, what’s your view on intelligence?

Spreading quickly via Telegram:

Signatures are so unserious, just “pinky promise” for adults. Write your name in a silly little way on this very important piece of paper so we that we can send you to jail if you do anything wrong.

Spreading quickly via Instagram:

Billionaires didn’t get rich by working harder. They got rich by making sure you work harder, get paid less, and spend more.

Spreading quickly via Threads:

I am “I can’t remember the last time I went out on New Year’s Eve” old.

Seen just now on Discord:

Love to come home after a long day’s work and relax with one thousand short-form videos.

Making waves on Discord:

I knew school was a scam when my business teacher didn’t own a business, and my PE teacher was fat.

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

Maybe the real American dream is the debt we collected along the way.

Trending via X:

What bootlickers fail to understand is that the boot eventually comes for them too.

Going viral on X:

Adults should get spring break from their jobs.

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