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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇾 has shared:

If you have to remind them to give a shit, remind yourself not to.

Someone from 🇫🇷 has downloaded:

I told myself I’d behave today. Then I saw my reflection and thought, maybe tomorrow.

Someone from 🇦🇪 has downloaded:

I put my pants on like everyone else. With hope they still fit.

Someone from 🇨🇻 has bookmarked:

I’m only awake because my coffee needs me.

Someone from 🇳🇱 has shared:

So annoying when your family knocks on the toilet door and asks what you’re doing. I’m baking a cake. HBU?

Someone from 🇶🇦 has viewed:

I’ve been following this strict diet all week and so far all I’ve lost is my patience.

Someone from 🇹🇳 has shared:

My reality check bounced, guess I’ll have to stay insane for the time being.

Someone from 🇵🇰 has shared:

I am a friend to all cats. Yes, even the mean ones. They have their reasons.

Someone from 🇸🇻 has viewed:

“You’re so self-aware!” Thanks, it’s ruining my life.

Someone from 🇳🇦 has viewed:

I haven’t given up on my fairy-tale ending. I still plan to be eaten by a wolf.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2334 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,496

Funny Quotes Topics

15,197

Funny Quotes Images

12,496

Updated

26 minutes ago

Users Online

3,454

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on LinkedIn:

I feel like I’m in season 5 of my life, and the writers are just making ridiculous shit happen to keep it interesting.

Shared recently on YouTube:

Establish dominance by eating a salad in front of your indoor plants.

Spotted on Snapchat:

Sorry I’m late, my dog was sleeping in the shape of a donut and I had to take so many photos.

Making waves on Reddit:

If your name is “Guy”, you have lazy parents.

Spreading quickly via Pinterest:

When I tell a joke that doesn’t land, I follow up with a worse one to make my audience realize how good they had it with the first joke.

Just shared via Pinterest:

Overheard the most hilarious conversation on my morning commute, then realized it was just me talking to myself in my car.

Seen just now on YouTube:

I hate that moment when you are tired and sleepy but as soon as you go to bed your body is like “just kidding.”

Trending via Messenger:

If you don’t buy any snacks, you’re proud for a moment and then incredibly sad.

Spotted on Snapchat:

When my nudes go to the cloud, I always hope God is impressed.

Just landed via X:

When life gives you lemons, squirt someone in the eye.

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2334 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,496

Funny Quotes Topics

15,197

Funny Quotes Images

12,496

Updated

26 minutes ago

Users Online

3,439

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇾 has viewed:

You can’t hurt me. You’re not how I look first thing in the morning.

Someone from 🇨🇴 has copied:

Santa: “Don’t leave me milk. Leave me whiskey.”

Someone from 🇻🇪 has copied:

Your 20s are for developing attachments to people who will haunt you for the rest of your life.

Someone from 🇹🇼 has copied:

She calls me Anthony Bourdain because I eat her parts unknown, no reservations.

Someone from 🇬🇳 has viewed:

Dear unsuccessful applicant, we ultimately decided to split the role between existing staff without paying any of them extra.

Someone from 🇯🇵 has downloaded:

The only reason I haven’t gone crazy yet is because I’m just too lazy.

Someone from 🇵🇬 has viewed:

When I was a little kid, I used to think, “This little pig went to market,” meant it was going shopping!

Someone from 🇱🇸 has viewed:

I have two reactions when I leave the house: Ew, the people. Ew, the weather.

Someone from 🇧🇮 has shared:

If I climbed all the way to the top of Mount Everest and looked up, then I’d finally see the top of our family’s weekly laundry pile.

Someone from 🇰🇼 has shared:

If you drink enough, any bar can be a karaoke bar.

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Pinterest:

I’m at the gym and I just saw someone put their water bottle in the Pringles holder on the treadmill.

Just shared via WeChat:

Bit strange that the same culture is responsible for both kissing and onion soup. You’d think they’d be incompatible.

Making waves on Telegram:

Basically a lot of my problems boil down to me being really bad at waking up, and also really bad at going to sleep.

Seen just now on YouTube:

I talk a lot of shit for someone who turns every black shirt into an abstract deodorant mural.

Spreading quickly via Messenger:

I hate commas. It’s not my job to tell you when you breathe. Work it out, you’re a grown adult.

Live now on WhatsApp:

Being a sleepy girl with a busy life is so hard.

Trending via LinkedIn:

Despite all my rage, I still keep refreshing the page.

Going viral on Threads:

Getting paid to sleep would be such a dream job.

Going viral on Facebook:

Sorry I’m late — I was standing in the shower, thinking about stuff.

Freshly posted on X:

Are you my pinky toe, because I will bang you on all my furniture.

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