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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇫🇯 has viewed:

I love beating a dead horse with the girls. There is nothing better than a Saturday night rehashing, and never letting that horse rest in peace.

Someone from 🇷🇺 has downloaded:

If buying isn’t owning, then pirating isn’t stealing.

Someone from 🇭🇳 has shared:

People who say “teamwork makes the dream work” are the reason that some people want to punch other people in the face.

Someone from 🇺🇾 has viewed:

Fishing for compliments like “I’m a mess in this photo that I took all morning to get the right angle and filter and after 50 selfies this is me”.

Someone from 🇸🇬 has copied:

I liked the version of you from the other dimension better.

Someone from 🇲🇹 has shared:

Maybe your soulmate’s just late, like, wildly behind schedule.

Someone from 🇧🇬 has shared:

She was rare. Like a meth head with good teeth.

Someone from 🇫🇷 has viewed:

Be the horrifying lore of your family’s lineage.

Someone from 🇺🇦 has viewed:

Whoever invented the gender reveal party needs to be launched into the sun.

Someone from 🇹🇱 has downloaded:

A micromanager is someone you pay to watch your top talent walk away.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

55 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,324

Funny Quotes Topics

17,443

Funny Quotes Images

15,324

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,476

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via YouTube:

Apologies about the delay to your flight. We’re just waiting for one 3D printed part, but apparently a ‘fuselage’ takes a little time.

Just landed via Telegram:

It whistles, doesn’t it? Your head when it’s windy.

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

Please do not ask a bookworm if they are going to finish the books they have before buying more. It is very offensive in our culture.

Just shared via Reddit:

Drinking a couple of beers and then getting onto Red Dead Redemption, and just petting my horse and feeding it apples.

Seen just now on WeChat:

If I was an elephant, you’d all be sorry.

Going viral on Snapchat:

If I ever go missing, promise me that you won’t put my weight on the poster.

Just shared via Pinterest:

The rumors of my will to live have been greatly exaggerated.

Just landed via LinkedIn:

Making a record-breaking number of bad choices today, I’m really proud of myself.

Making waves on Threads:

I will always be hotter than everyone who hates me.

Spotted on WeChat:

“But it’s summer,” is going to be my excuse for everything from now until the end of September.

Funny outstanding quotes

Funny outstanding quotes bring a burst of laughter 😂 and cleverness 💡 to brighten your day! Whether you need a quick pick-me-up or want to share some wit with friends, these gems spark joy and unexpected smiles 😄. Get ready to scroll through a collection that’s as hilarious as it is unforgettable—because who says wisdom can’t come with a side of fun? 🎉✨

New funny outstanding quotes 👇

All funny outstanding quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes
🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

55 shares on Twitch this month:

Getting my next boyfriend a flip phone. He doesn’t need anything more.

68 shares on Telegram this month:

Is he trying to pronounce “charcuterie” or is he having a stroke?

19 shares on Snapchat this month:

I’ve reached the age where my train of thought often leaves the station without me.

15 shares on Instagram this month:

I’m going to a karaoke bar tomorrow, where I’ll sing every song in the style of Yoko Ono.

43 shares on Discord this month:

I heard you like bad girls. Well, I’m bad. At everything.

53 shares on Instagram this month:

Tried to be a responsible adult today. Won’t be doing that again.

86 shares on YouTube this month:

I love canceling plans. I didn’t want to go in the first place. I just wanted to be invited.

32 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I still haven’t heard one good argument why I should stop believing in Santa.

80 shares on Slack this month:

I bought a calming tea but the smell and taste is making me nervous.

27 shares on Messenger this month:

They need to increase life expectancy so I can squeeze in another mid-life crisis.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

25 folks are currently checking 👀

There’s not gonna be a civil war. None of us can afford to take that much time off work.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

I like how people say “manage your depression,” like it’s a stock portfolio, but you’re heavily invested in sadness.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

The sexual tension between me and buying more books.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

Telling everyone I’m an undecided voter because I need the attention.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

When I was a kid, they played lame music for middle-aged people in the supermarket, but this morning at Whole Foods, it’s now all amazing bangers from my youth.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

Have a good weekend, unless you have other plans.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

Whoever said money can’t buy happiness, clearly never paid for a divorce.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

August is almost over. September is next week. Time to pick out a Halloween costume and start your Christmas shopping. Happy New Year, everybody.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

Women are like apples; I like biting them.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

It feels like a million o’clock right now.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

55 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,324

Funny Quotes Topics

17,443

Funny Quotes Images

15,324

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,627

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇮 has downloaded:

Any place is a walkable city if you’re broke enough.

Someone from 🇸🇻 has viewed:

Body: Time to sleep. Brain: Hey, that’s an interesting thought, here’s six billion more.

Someone from 🇲🇺 has copied:

Every laptop should have a “cat” button that disables the keyboard so they can nap.

Someone from 🇵🇾 has downloaded:

Hardest part of beekeeping is thinking of all the names.

Someone from 🇸🇲 has viewed:

A murder on the dance floor would explain the panic! at the disco.

Someone from 🇻🇨 has copied:

I was not meant for Microsoft Teams.

Someone from 🇸🇰 has copied:

Everyone has that one friend they’ve known for years and still have no idea what they actually do for a living, but it’s too late to ask.

Someone from 🇭🇷 has bookmarked:

To everyone I offended this year: do better next year, so I don’t have to do it again.

Someone from 🇮🇸 has copied:

University is more like teaching yourself for a class you paid for.

Someone from 🇹🇱 has copied:

Goodnight to the men who know one woman is enough. The rest can get sleep paralysis.

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on WhatsApp:

I wonder what the part of my brain that used to store people’s phone numbers is doing now.

Just shared via Discord:

Your 20s are for lusting after furniture you can’t afford actually.

Breaking via WeChat:

The shrooms told me that we need to get our shit together. That humanity is a bundle of bad habits. I’m headed back in a few weeks, and they need a response from us. What do I tell them?

Seen just now on Facebook:

“I’m gonna decide everyone’s pronouns and sexuality tonight. And, yes, there will be some big surprises.”

Spreading quickly via Facebook:

Every time you give someone the benefit, they deliver the doubt.

Seen just now on Telegram:

The best part about your kids being sick is you get to see exactly how shitty you’re going to feel in 48 hours.

Just landed via Slack:

No, sorry, next week won’t work. I’ll be a shadow of what I once was.

Breaking via Snapchat:

I drive way too fast to worry about cholesterol.

Shared recently on TikTok:

But if i put my laundry away, the laundry chair will be out of a job.

Just shared via Threads:

Your posts make me wish I could forget how to read.

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