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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇩 has downloaded:

The worst part about working from home is that your real husband is also your work husband.

Someone from 🇬🇧 has copied:

I toss and turn in bed all night like a beautiful rotisserie chicken.

Someone from 🇱🇻 has viewed:

Sometimes, when I need a really good night’s sleep, I call my burrito guy to come over and tuck me in.

Someone from 🇬🇦 has copied:

Seriously? I came out of hibernation for this?

Someone from 🇳🇱 has downloaded:

They should invent weekends that are long-lasting.

Someone from 🇸🇨 has copied:

Bruschetta is 80% delicious and 20% mess.

Someone from 🇦🇩 has viewed:

Why are conclusions necessary in essays? Were you not following?

Someone from 🇳🇱 has bookmarked:

For security reasons, I highly recommend that you leave one of your children home during the holidays to set elaborate booby traps in case of intruders.

Someone from 🇲🇷 has bookmarked:

I’m only here to test your patience, but like, in a sexy way.

Someone from 🇨🇬 has copied:

Carefully choosing which wine to pair with a McRib.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2419 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,581

Funny Quotes Topics

15,252

Funny Quotes Images

12,581

Updated

4 minutes ago

Users Online

3,445

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

I haven’t even gone to bed yet and I already can’t wait to get home from work tomorrow.

Going viral on Twitch:

Can’t think of a single time the MGM lion advanced the plot of the movie in any way. Just needless jump scare.

Trending via Reddit:

Having a low quality camera will definitely force you to keep your life private.

Broadcasted on LinkedIn:

Her: how are you still single? Me: it’s easier than you think.

Just shared via Discord:

Some stupid little amoeba decided to leave the ocean a billion years ago and now I have to worry about Monday.

Trending via Facebook:

I don’t need all of these heat advisory warnings on my phone. I’ve been outside. I have skin. I know.

Spotted on X:

I’m so lazy that I’ll break my tooth trying to get this tag off before I get up and get a scissor.

Shared recently on Facebook:

You should never forget where you came from. That’s probably where your keys are.

Reported on Snapchat:

Aliens are gonna be super confused when they show up threatening to overthrow our leaders and we’re all stoked and offer to help.

Shared recently on YouTube:

I no longer need an alarm clock because I’m over 40 and have a bladder.

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2419 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,581

Funny Quotes Topics

15,252

Funny Quotes Images

12,581

Updated

4 minutes ago

Users Online

3,454

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇴🇲 has viewed:

Walmart was wild as hell today, so I fit right in.

Someone from 🇿🇦 has downloaded:

I don’t usually think about what I say before I say it. I prefer to think about it after I’ve said it, late at night, for the rest of my life.

Someone from 🇮🇹 has viewed:

We should be able to take our arms off when we go to sleep, we have the technology.

Someone from 🇮🇩 has viewed:

I don’t argue with my kids anymore. I just vacuum every surface of the living room while they’re trying to watch TV.

Someone from 🇳🇱 has bookmarked:

Everyone hates math until their paycheck looks funny, then all of a sudden you know trigonometry.

Someone from 🇼🇸 has bookmarked:

I am a fool everyday, I don’t need a holiday for it.

Someone from 🇧🇩 has copied:

If you want to know what God thinks of money, look at the people he gave it to.

Someone from 🇲🇺 has copied:

I was actually doing so well until your email found me.

Someone from 🇸🇧 has copied:

I don’t jump to conclusions, I cannonball into them like a boss.

Someone from 🇱🇰 has bookmarked:

The easiest way to shop with kids is not to.

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

I don’t need alcohol to make bad decisions.

Freshly posted on Reddit:

It’s funny how quickly you become difficult if you don’t always just say “yes”.

Broadcasted on WhatsApp:

Normalize saying “better you than me” to people who keep complaining about everything.

Spotted on Slack:

Been acting really busy today because I can tell my coworker wants to talk about something in his personal life.

Broadcasted on X:

You’re never alone. There’s mold.

Spotted on LinkedIn:

You ask for a Swedish massage and then get mad when I roll meatballs on your back.

Shared recently on Instagram:

I should have been a Librarian, my favorite thing to do is telling people to shut up.

Spotted on Discord:

Pitching a sitcom where all the top people running a major city have been arrested and by chain of command the person in charge is now a librarian.

Spotted on Facebook:

If stupidity got us into this mess, then why can’t it get us out?

Making waves on Messenger:

Oh great, you brought your ancient ancestors with you.

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