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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇧 has viewed:

I totally get why Leonardo DiCaprio is trying to save the environment for future generations. They could be his girlfriend.

Someone from 🇸🇹 has downloaded:

I saw a spider crawl under my kid’s bed and was too tired to go after it, but that’s okay, no living creature can survive that environment.

Someone from 🇸🇨 has bookmarked:

Nobody is more stressed than a person who has a lot of interests or passions and is still confused about their career.

Someone from 🇹🇹 has viewed:

Potato chips ARE vegetables! I exclaim as I tear open the third bag.

Someone from 🇮🇶 has copied:

At this point, I’m not sure if my house is a mess or my mess is a house.

Someone from 🇪🇹 has bookmarked:

Some days you are the table and some days you are the toe.

Someone from 🇯🇴 has downloaded:

Toddlers: I’ve licked everything so everything is mine now.

Someone from 🇭🇺 has viewed:

RIP to everyone killed by the Gods for their hubris, but I’m different. And better. Maybe even better than the Gods.

Someone from 🇲🇭 has downloaded:

My life is just a series of awkward moments separated by snacks.

Someone from 🇯🇲 has copied:

Halloween candy isn’t bad for you if you keep it in a salad bowl.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

826 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,988

Funny Quotes Topics

13,932

Funny Quotes Images

10,988

Updated

13 minutes ago

Users Online

3,427

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Snapchat:

I didn’t lose a girlfriend, I gained an enemy.

Shared recently on X:

“Your password is too weak.” Just wait until you see my will to live.

Trending via Snapchat:

Not to brag, but I was unhinged way before it was cool.

Just landed via Facebook:

Sorry I’m late. I was scraping the clearance tag off your Christmas present.

Making waves on Pinterest:

Not all who wander are lost. Some are just moms. In Target. Hiding from their children.

Going viral on Slack:

Them: “Ugh, could you be more annoying?” Me: “Oh God, yes!”

Just landed via LinkedIn:

The pizza delivery guys say “see you tomorrow” to everyone, right?

Making waves on Threads:

Until further notice the days of the week are now called thisday, thatday, otherday, someday, yesterday, today and nextday!

Spotted on WeChat:

Just read the Ten Commandments for the first time and you can’t do shit with your neighbor.

Live now on Pinterest:

The mattress in the guest room was perfectly fine until I had to sleep on it once.

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm sleep social someone technology time want work

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

826 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,988

Funny Quotes Topics

13,932

Funny Quotes Images

10,988

Updated

13 minutes ago

Users Online

3,426

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇴🇲 has downloaded:

People who sound like fonts: Ariana Grande. Roman Roy. Jim Courier. Lydia West. Bon Iver. Suella Braverman. Jesse Ventura.

Someone from 🇨🇭 has viewed:

If someone asks you if you’re in the queue, what they actually mean is “you’re really shit at queuing, aren’t you?”

Someone from 🇳🇮 has viewed:

When I die, I want to go peacefully like my grandfather did, in his sleep, not screaming, like the passengers in his car.

Someone from 🇿🇦 has viewed:

Tidying up usually ends up with you sitting somewhere and playing around with things you found while tidying up.

Someone from 🇦🇿 has bookmarked:

Will someone please make me drink some water and limit my screen time?

Someone from 🇨🇺 has bookmarked:

Fun Fact: Dove chocolate tastes way better than their soap.

Someone from 🇧🇸 has bookmarked:

Everyone hates drama, yet somehow the tabloids remain in business.

Someone from 🇨🇺 has viewed:

Blocking someone isn’t enough; I need their PornHub videos to always buffer, just as they’re about to climax.

Someone from 🇲🇾 has shared:

I’m not totally useless. I can be used as a bad example.

Someone from 🇦🇸 has bookmarked:

My parents often told me I would lose my own head if it wasn’t screwed on and now that I’m an adult, I want to know what tools I need to have it screwed off.

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Twitch:

They should let you spend one night in a house before you buy/rent it, just to make sure it’s haunted.

Just landed via Messenger:

I’m actually breaking generational curses by surviving my 20s without marrying a man who hates me.

Broadcasted on Pinterest:

They should invent a political party that doesn’t suck.

Freshly posted on Reddit:

Life is like bread. It gets hard at some point.

Freshly posted on Twitch:

Rorschach tests are like so easy. Everything’s either a demon or a butterfly and it’s up to you to decide.

Just landed via Instagram:

My unemployed neighbor with an unlimited firework budget would like to wish everyone a happy 9th of July.

Trending via Twitch:

Them: Money doesn’t bring happiness. Me: Pass the money over here, I like to be sad.

Trending via Threads:

If you’re feeling lonely, start a small business. Then you’ll have a little company.

Breaking via Slack:

As long as you’re still fishing fruit flies out of your drink, you’re not drunk.

Making waves on YouTube:

Gonna end every insult with “but in a good way”.

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