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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇷 has downloaded:

Spotify: enjoy the next 30 minutes commercial free. Also Spotify: we have no concept of time.

Someone from 🇲🇩 has viewed:

“Hey you!” is short for “I have no idea what your name is.”

Someone from 🇳🇮 has bookmarked:

Washing your face and water going down your elbow is so sickening.

Someone from 🇲🇳 has copied:

Turns out I’m not an afternoon person either.

Someone from 🇲🇲 has viewed:

Twitter is a prime example why most of us shouldn’t be left unsupervised.

Someone from 🇱🇨 has copied:

The tag on my jeans says “Relaxed” so it obviously doesn’t have children.

Someone from 🇹🇼 has bookmarked:

Might make a living will because I don’t want my family deciding whether to pull the plug. My dad has a long history of being against wasting electricity.

Someone from 🇰🇪 has viewed:

I just want someone who will treat me like a lady and hold the refrigerator door open for me.

Someone from 🇵🇾 has shared:

I drink my coffee black because I like to save my calories for alcohol.

Someone from 🇲🇳 has shared:

Can you put some pants on my voodoo doll and pop some money in the pocket, please?

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

771 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,933

Funny Quotes Topics

13,906

Funny Quotes Images

10,933

Updated

19 minutes ago

Users Online

3,442

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via LinkedIn:

Life always has it’s ups and downs. I like to up the music, down the drinks, and then relax and enjoy.

Trending via Snapchat:

Brushing your teeth at night is a hellish chore. Walking from bed to bathroom feels harder than working in the mines all day. I’m getting pissed just thinking about it.

Going viral on LinkedIn:

Eternal Sunshine of the Thotless Grind.

Making waves on Messenger:

I’ll never salute you, General Settings.

Live now on Facebook:

My birth year getting a lil too far on those lil scroll lists. I don’t like that.

Spotted on Discord:

My life changed when I learned some house spiders can’t survive outside, so now I just catch them and release them in a friend’s home.

Breaking via LinkedIn:

I bought a calming tea but the smell and taste is making me nervous.

Reported on Slack:

Weddings should have a worst man.

Just shared via WhatsApp:

Talking to some people is like folding a fitted sheet.

Freshly posted on Messenger:

Putting a blanket over my boss so he thinks it’s night time and goes to sleep.

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

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Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media need people procrastination relationship sarcasm social someone technology time want work

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

771 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,933

Funny Quotes Topics

13,906

Funny Quotes Images

10,933

Updated

19 minutes ago

Users Online

3,423

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇦 has downloaded:

My funeral better have a bloody merch table.

Someone from 🇻🇺 has viewed:

Whoever removed the 30th and 31st from February, come get the 14th too.

Someone from 🇹🇯 has downloaded:

I probably never die because I don’t finish anything without a specific deadline.

Someone from 🇪🇷 has downloaded:

Do goalies ever get lonely during a game?

Someone from 🇦🇺 has copied:

If you relate to me, get some help!

Someone from 🇪🇷 has shared:

I hate it when people threaten to come over. Now I’ve got to do 2 years of housework in 30 minutes.

Someone from 🇸🇧 has viewed:

Planking is the only time we appreciate time.

Someone from 🇨🇾 has copied:

If you ever feel useless, remember that there are bathrooms at pools.

Someone from 🇸🇪 has bookmarked:

Sexting is hilarious, when you think about it. Like, this email truly should’ve been a meeting.

Someone from 🇩🇿 has shared:

The closer you are to nature, the further you are from idiots.

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on TikTok:

A Tinder type app, but it matches you with sandwiches.

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

There are three certainties in life: death, taxes and getting stuck behind a shit driver when you’re late.

Freshly posted on Messenger:

Nobody told me that when you get a husband the ears are sold separately.

Trending via Facebook:

Always be kind. You never know who has a pool.

Just shared via Reddit:

I’m not deleting my Twitter, I was here before Elon.

Shared recently on Snapchat:

I need like twelve incomes for this lifestyle I have in my head.

Broadcasted on Facebook:

It took me 5 minutes to do something I’ve been stressing about for 6 months. I will learn nothing from this.

Seen just now on YouTube:

I’m actually not funny. I’m just really mean and people think I’m joking.

Just landed via Instagram:

Love is like a bird. Sometimes flying around me but then moving on.

Just landed via LinkedIn:

Female breasts are nature’s anti-stress balls. The irony is that they are connected to the biggest stress-inducing device.

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