Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇰 has downloaded:

The only thing I gained so far this year is weight.

Someone from 🇳🇬 has shared:

The problem with rich people is that I am not one.

Someone from 🇻🇳 has viewed:

I could never work in an aquarium. I would have a penguin under my shirt at the end of the shift.

Someone from 🇻🇪 has copied:

I’ve walked the walk, but nowadays I just sit the sit.

Someone from 🇸🇩 has viewed:

By the time my CVS receipt finished printing, I was eligible for another prescription refill.

Someone from 🇧🇦 has bookmarked:

Just shaved my whole body for Santa.

Someone from 🇺🇾 has downloaded:

Being insane should at least burn calories.

Someone from 🇹🇿 has shared:

I like online shopping and putting everything I want in a cart, then checking my subtotal and laughing and closing the tab.

Someone from 🇰🇷 has bookmarked:

The problem with salad is, it’s salad.

Someone from 🇺🇾 has shared:

Getting mad when an app updates and changes their format is the new “rearranged grocery store” for me.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,755

Social Media Log 💫

Breaking via Facebook:

Therapy isn’t about being “fixed.” It’s about being your therapist’s favorite patient.

Just shared via Twitch:

I hope my parents feel proud. They scared me so bad about getting pregnant as a teenager that now they’re never getting grandkids.

Going viral on Slack:

A fitness trainer showed me the proper way to inhale and exhale and then got pissed when I told her she had nice breaths.

Spotted on LinkedIn:

“I’m not short. I’m just more down to earth than most people.”

Freshly posted on TikTok:

Procrastination isn’t a horrible thing. I mean, you always have something to do tomorrow… plus you have nothing to do today.

Spotted on WeChat:

Spending all my money on lottery tickets so I’ll either be rich or poor, none of this wishy-washy stuff in the middle.

Spotted on Pinterest:

I am like the weather. Temporarily friendly.

Just shared via WeChat:

I used to think that the older you get, the wiser and more self-confident you become. I now know that you just get tired more quickly.

Spreading quickly via Instagram:

The real challenge of adulthood is figuring out what to eat every day.

Just shared via WeChat:

I think the real reason this generation is so angry is that their music sucks.

Funny planetarium quotes

Funny planetarium quotes are the perfect way to add a cosmic twist to your day 🌌✨ Whether you’re stargazing or just love a good space pun, these witty lines will have you laughing like a shooting star 🚀😂 Get ready to orbit around humor that’s out of this world and brighten up your galaxy of jokes! 🌠😄

New funny planetarium quotes 👇

All funny planetarium quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Random Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

63 shares on LinkedIn this month:

IKEA is the swedish word for “relationship meltdown in a public place.”

45 shares on Instagram this month:

Can we call situationships ‘affairs’ again? It sounds more adult and less desperate.

22 shares on Twitch this month:

What did parents do before smart phones, hold their babies with two hands or something?

18 shares on Snapchat this month:

There’s no post-breakup healing process for girls. You just wake up one day and be like, “Ew,” and you’re free.

13 shares on Twitch this month:

I like to be alone a lot; it’s nothing personal.

79 shares on Twitch this month:

Twitter is the only place you argue with CEOs and heads of states while sleeping in the kitchen.

64 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Dentist appointments are so weird. “Hi, nice to meet you, could you root around in my mouth for a bit?”

57 shares on Twitch this month:

What is it called when you’re smart but everything you do is freaking stupid?

36 shares on LinkedIn this month:

My childhood led me to believe that as an adult I’d have to contend with truth serum, lava, quicksand, trap doors, and secret passageways. So far it’s mostly been weight gain and existential dread.

51 shares on Slack this month:

I have almost 100,000 miles on my office chair. So I got that going for me.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

19 folks are currently checking 👀

Skinny people are easier to get blown around by storms. These donuts are for my safety.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

My neighbors were up shouting all night. I could barely hear my bagpipes.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

I feel sorry for dogs. They learnt to fetch newspapers, but newspapers are dying. Killed by an internet driven by cats.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

Gay? We don’t use that word anymore. Person of rainbow.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

My bathroom mirror after a long party weekend: “Girl, those vitamins can’t help you now.”

15 folks are currently checking 👀

I’ve reached a point in my life where if I can’t find parking, I’m just going to go home.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

Everyone gives pleasure in some way, one when they enter a room, the other when they leave it.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

God, is there anything worse than when someone wants to show you a video?

23 folks are currently checking 👀

Desperately seeking my soul, mate.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

I plan the silliest murders in my dreams because all I have to do to get away with it is wake up.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,403

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇮🇳 has bookmarked:

Getting money from the Tooth Fairy is a gateway drug to organ trafficking.

Someone from 🇿🇦 has copied:

Before Facebook, we would hold people hostage inside our homes by showing them photo albums of our vacation.

Someone from 🇦🇫 has shared:

What does my tattoo mean? It means I couldn’t be trusted with $200 when I was 18.

Someone from 🇿🇼 has shared:

You can tell Monopoly is an old game because there’s a luxury tax, and rich people can go to jail.

Someone from 🇩🇪 has viewed:

Is it better to beat someone to the punch or punch someone to the beat?

Someone from 🇺🇾 has downloaded:

I don’t know how to flirt, but you can watch me eat fresh fruit in my sundress.

Someone from 🇧🇫 has bookmarked:

Feeling like a bug without his rug.

Someone from 🇨🇴 has viewed:

Slapping the TV remote on your knee extends the battery life. It’s science.

Someone from 🇨🇷 has viewed:

First date idea: we deactivate your Instagram.

Someone from 🇭🇹 has shared:

The brand name Oral B is so funny to me. WTF does the B stand for?

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Reddit:

If Kanye got hacked, no one would even know.

Trending via X:

Having long hair as a guy is so scary because some days I look like the charming lead of a classic film from the 80s, and other days I look like a Discord mod that runs his Magic: The Gathering group like the Navy.

Going viral on Reddit:

As per my last curse, I have no interest in this.

Making waves on TikTok:

I could have been the favorite mistress of the Sun King at Versailles, but nooooooooo I had to be born into late stage capitalism.

Spotted on Messenger:

To the tune of ‘Everybody Dance Now’: Himalayan Sea Salt

Just landed via Discord:

I was born tired, and I will die tired. If I ever tell you I’m not tired, I’m probably lying.

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

Forget pheromones, barbecue smells are always attractive.

Just landed via Discord:

My stomach just made the exact sound of the “your” in “your call has been forwarded to an automatic voice messaging system.”

Spotted on TikTok:

I go to tattoo parlors and trick them into shaving my leg for me, and then leave.

Freshly posted on X:

Just cleaned out my junk drawer if anyone needs a CD to reinstall Windows 95.

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