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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇮🇪 has copied:

Don’t throw hate at me, throw money!

Someone from 🇲🇬 has copied:

The sole purpose of your child’s middle name… is so they know when they’re really in trouble.

Someone from 🇬🇹 has shared:

Only difference between me and someone in a psych ward is I’m outside.

Someone from 🇺🇿 has bookmarked:

You want me to turn around? The thing that led to a total eclipse of the heart.

Someone from 🇮🇷 has downloaded:

Me, one week before the new year: Not to brag, but I have enough money to live comfortably for the rest of the year.

Someone from 🇲🇨 has bookmarked:

I don’t like being asked “are you at home?” Please expand further so I can know whether I’m at home or not.

Someone from 🇵🇪 has bookmarked:

How to write complaints: “Dear customer service, first of all, you should know that I am typing this with my middle finger.”

Someone from 🇰🇳 has copied:

Don’t even bother contacting me on the Ouija Board after I die. I barely answer my texts now.

Someone from 🇧🇧 has copied:

Sometimes I have to remind myself to put down my iPhone, go outside, and judge people in person.

Someone from 🇸🇰 has copied:

This Monday could have been an email.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

761 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,923

Funny Quotes Topics

13,892

Funny Quotes Images

10,923

Updated

24 minutes ago

Users Online

3,424

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Discord:

I didn’t lose an hour of sleep. The hour of sleep lost me.

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

Might start a YouTube channel “will it hurt if I drop it on my foot”.

Just landed via Snapchat:

Taking yesterday’s bad mood on a multi-day tour.

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

Changing my passwords regularly has certainly helped protect my accounts. Against me.

Spotted on Pinterest:

Prophecy class has been cancelled due to unforeseen circumstances.

Freshly posted on WeChat:

Welcome to your 50s. You used to be a lot taller.

Spotted on Slack:

I have many talents, all equally un-monetizable.

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

I always carry a knife with me in case I run into someone with 10,000 spoons.

Spotted on Twitch:

I googled my symptoms and it turns out I just need this election to be over.

Just landed via Snapchat:

I don’t need a psychic to tell me which planets make me sad. It’s earth.

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media need people procrastination relationship sarcasm social someone technology time want work

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

761 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,923

Funny Quotes Topics

13,892

Funny Quotes Images

10,923

Updated

24 minutes ago

Users Online

3,427

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇹 has downloaded:

If you’re riding a bike in New York City, it means you care about your health. Riding one in Tennessee means you got a DUI.

Someone from 🇰🇭 has downloaded:

No one told me adulting would involve trying to avoid so many scams.

Someone from 🇲🇹 has copied:

I’ve disappointed better people.

Someone from 🇸🇰 has viewed:

Like many men my age, my biggest regret is hiring the inexpensive hitman.

Someone from 🇦🇬 has viewed:

I don’t wanna brag, but I’ve been told I’m micro-management material.

Someone from 🇷🇸 has copied:

Life is just a sequence of missed opportunities.

Someone from 🇨🇴 has shared:

No amount of daylight can save us.

Someone from 🇦🇪 has downloaded:

“You’re acting weird!” I’m not acting.

Someone from 🇸🇳 has viewed:

The enemy of my enemy is my friend. But I’m my own worst enemy, so I guess I’m also my best friend.

Someone from 🇸🇾 has bookmarked:

“Delusional” ain’t a strong enough word to describe people anymore.

Social Media Log 💫

Broadcasted on Reddit:

Sometimes I’m grateful that thoughts don’t appear as bubbles over our heads.

Shared recently on Facebook:

Dear people who talk on speakerphone out in public. Everyone around you hates you.

Going viral on TikTok:

Why does everyone always think that I know what I’m doing? Most of the time I watch myself in amazement and am curious to see what happens.

Broadcasted on Threads:

I identify as a weather forecast: Anything’s possible.

Trending via YouTube:

Just once I’d like to wake up, turn on the news, and hear “Monday has been cancelled,” and then go back to sleep.

Spotted on Threads:

My goal is to do one thing each day that could prevent me from being elected to political office.

Trending via WhatsApp:

I dare you to try and be more single than me.

Breaking via Pinterest:

Great news everyone! The priest who took my confession is expected to make a full recovery.

Freshly posted on Facebook:

The best thing about driving in the snow is staying home.

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

Not to brag but I don’t even need meditation, my mind goes blank the second someone asks me for directions.

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