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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇩🇲 has viewed:

I accidentally relaxed too much, and now I don’t have enough anxiety to get stuff done.

Someone from 🇲🇷 has downloaded:

I wonder if my recorded call has ever been used for training or quality purposes.

Someone from 🇨🇻 has viewed:

Free marriage tip: Don’t ask your wife when dinner will be ready while she is mowing the lawn.

Someone from 🇨🇻 has viewed:

I had a dream about you. You were stupid there, too.

Someone from 🇬🇹 has viewed:

Today is one of those days that even my coffee needs a coffee.

Someone from 🇨🇬 has viewed:

When I die, I hope it’s early in the morning, so I don’t have to go to work that day for no reason.

Someone from 🇹🇷 has viewed:

Please don’t leave me to my own devices. They’re all out of batteries.

Someone from 🇸🇱 has copied:

“I asked ChatGPT.” Okay, well, I asked my mom.

Someone from 🇲🇽 has downloaded:

I’ve taken a long, hard look at myself. I won’t be doing that again.

Someone from 🇬🇪 has viewed:

Going out for two days in a row should really be considered an extreme sport.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

242 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,511

Funny Quotes Topics

17,578

Funny Quotes Images

15,511

Updated

Jan 7, 2026

Users Online

3,454

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on WeChat:

Sorry about all the mean stuff I said when I was right.

Just shared via Pinterest:

So apparently it’s still a DUI even if you’re the birthday boy.

Going viral on Instagram:

Damn boy, are you a horoscope? Because I’m selectively focusing on the parts of you that make sense for me.

Spreading quickly via WeChat:

God: “I told you to love thy neighbor – not start trade wars with them.”

Just landed via YouTube:

80 percent of my life now is just “hmmmm… should I bring my jacket or not?”

Spotted on WeChat:

Waitress: “Do you have any questions about the menu?” Me: “What kind of font is this?

Spotted on YouTube:

Just paid my bills, so don’t ask me to come out. I’m at home getting my money’s worth.

Spotted on Reddit:

Turns out I like you a lot more than I originally planned.

Seen just now on Messenger:

Everything I like is either expensive, illegal, or wont text me back.

Shared recently on X:

Unmarried in your 30s should honestly be rebranded as – ‘Congrats, you didn’t pick the wrong person out of panic’.

Funny playful comparison quotes

Funny playful comparison quotes bring a splash of humor and wit to everyday moments 🌟😄 They cleverly spotlight life’s quirks by comparing the unexpected—think laughter, lightheartedness, and a dash of sarcasm all rolled into one 🎉✨ Perfect for sharing, giggling, and brightening your feed with relatable fun! Ready to see the world through a funnier lens? Let’s dive in and enjoy these clever twists! 🎈😂

New funny playful comparison quotes 👇

All funny playful comparison quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes
🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

99 shares on Pinterest this month:

My New Years resolutions are to do some things, and stop doing some other things.

17 shares on WeChat this month:

You wake up at 6 a.m. and it’s like you have 48 hours instead of 24.

48 shares on Pinterest this month:

I’m a social media influencer in that I’ve influenced people to ignore me on social media.

60 shares on Snapchat this month:

Do you ever wish you could just walk away mid-conversation when you’re bored?

27 shares on Telegram this month:

Things were better when the computer lived in its own specific room, and you only went in there sometimes.

69 shares on Facebook this month:

I talk to one guy, and he wants to break my heart. I talk to five guys, and they all wanna take me seriously.

54 shares on Discord this month:

Not arguing with a man that can cook. Whatever you say, handsome.

37 shares on Slack this month:

The cashier said, “Have a good day,” but she doesn’t mean it.

63 shares on Discord this month:

Gonna mess with my husband by texting “send nudes” when he’s in a work meeting.

62 shares on Slack this month:

The most valuable breed of cow are the Cash.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

6 folks are currently checking 👀

You can tell me what you want, but alcohol and eye contact are a dangerous combination.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

This heat made me realize I won’t survive in hell, I gotta change.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

I am a full grown adult. Now listen to me discuss the various plot holes in Paw Patrol.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

My milkshake brings all the boys to the yard, and I’m like, cool, can one of you reach the top shelf for me.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

Wolves should really raise more people.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

Damn, I just realized that the future idealized version of myself can’t exist without current me being the catalyst for change and doing hard things.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

Everyone’s an empath until I need to borrow some cash.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m an over-explainer (I explain things too much).

11 folks are currently checking 👀

How do couples who live together get anything done? I wouldn’t leave my bed if my girlfriend was in it.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

Sometimes you have to sit back and imagine what life could be if it wasn’t a horrifying nightmare.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

242 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,511

Funny Quotes Topics

17,578

Funny Quotes Images

15,511

Updated

Jan 7, 2026

Users Online

3,443

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇳 has viewed:

The Midwest urge to have a drink on a patio as soon as it’s nice out.

Someone from 🇲🇬 has copied:

The billionaires have decided that the people with nothing have too much.

Someone from 🇲🇽 has viewed:

Television is better for you than phone. It is like vaping vs smoking.

Someone from 🇵🇦 has downloaded:

God bless the student essay that is so confused and rambling, there is zero chance that they used AI.

Someone from 🇺🇿 has copied:

I need to consult the woods about this.

Someone from 🇲🇪 has copied:

I have high standards for dating because I’m a high-quality woman, and you wouldn’t want me any other way.

Someone from 🇧🇷 has downloaded:

I call my period Shark week. I want to eat everything, I’m snapping at people, I feel huge, people are scared of me, and there is blood everywhere.

Someone from 🇸🇹 has viewed:

Due to personal reasons, I’ll be using humor to hide pain.

Someone from 🇸🇮 has copied:

I make sure to post my political opinions after my selfies have gone viral to cull the herd.

Someone from 🇱🇮 has bookmarked:

My favorite type of gender reveal is the one where they just tell me and I don’t have to go to a party to find out.

Social Media Log 💫

Live now on Pinterest:

Men want to meet up too easily. What if I plan to sacrifice you?

Just landed via Reddit:

Robot bartender rips me in half after listening to my problems for over an hour.

Seen just now on Pinterest:

When Dr. Seuss wrote, “Oh, The Places You’ll Go,” he did not consider how comfortable my couch would be.

Going bananas on YouTube:

I really wish people would stop thinking they need to speak to me in the mornings.

Seen just now on WeChat:

Ever since I began sharing dad jokes, my followers have doubled in sighs.

Spotted on WhatsApp:

I have a man cold. Goodbye, world. Tell my story.

Just landed via WhatsApp:

The streets are not for me. I belong in an enchanted forest, eating berries, and talking to my animal friends.

Just landed via Messenger:

My Saturday was going pretty well until I realized it was Sunday.

Spreading quickly via LinkedIn:

I’ll marry the person who can go to a family event with me and still like me afterward.

Broadcasted on X:

Nostalgia is mostly dumb nonsense, but movie rental stores were legitimately better than streaming.

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