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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇯🇵 has copied:

That depressing moment when you start your car to go to work and it doesn’t explode.

Someone from 🇳🇪 has copied:

My phone charger is lying in another room. HELP.

Someone from 🇨🇱 has bookmarked:

When you have the money, you can go a whole day without eating. But when you’re broke, the dizziness starts at 6 a.m.

Someone from 🇧🇫 has viewed:

I don’t know what’s more fun—grocery shopping or making the old men blush by asking if these melons look ripe.

Someone from 🇲🇹 has viewed:

Me driving at night: I hope this is the road!

Someone from 🇦🇴 has copied:

Gravity, at all times, is trying to pull your pants down.

Someone from 🇦🇪 has bookmarked:

I’m best man at my buddy’s second wedding. Is it appropriate to open my dinner speech with “Welcome back everyone”?

Someone from 🇷🇼 has downloaded:

Babe, you’re not acting according to my delusions right now.

Someone from 🇧🇷 has bookmarked:

A lobotomy and a forehead kiss would fix everything.

Someone from 🇩🇿 has bookmarked:

Sorry, can’t. I’m too busy growing new neural pathways to make space for a stranger’s opinion. Evolution takes bandwidth, man.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

242 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,511

Funny Quotes Topics

17,578

Funny Quotes Images

15,511

Updated

Jan 7, 2026

Users Online

3,342

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Pinterest:

I’ve reached a point in my life where if I can’t find parking, I’m just going to go home.

Shared recently on Snapchat:

I fear one day I’ll see one of my posts marked as an “Exhibit A”

Seen just now on WeChat:

Having leftover pizza for breakfast is an actual blessing.

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

My tapeworm is starting a podcast about the McRib.

Spotted on Instagram:

All I’m saying is that big burgers should be wider not taller.

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

I’ve watched porn with better writing than Stranger Things.

Shared recently on Threads:

Life is short. Smile while you still have teeth.

Broadcasted on WhatsApp:

Nothing angers me more than tall ghosts in horror movies. No one born in 1782 was that tall. Do your research, screenwriters.

Spreading quickly via WeChat:

I told my suitcase we wouldn’t be going on vacation this year; now it’s dead inside and I’m left with emotional baggage.

Going viral on Messenger:

Hate when I get halfway there and have to go back for my teeth.

Funny playful comparison quotes

Funny playful comparison quotes bring a splash of humor and wit to everyday moments 🌟😄 They cleverly spotlight life’s quirks by comparing the unexpected—think laughter, lightheartedness, and a dash of sarcasm all rolled into one 🎉✨ Perfect for sharing, giggling, and brightening your feed with relatable fun! Ready to see the world through a funnier lens? Let’s dive in and enjoy these clever twists! 🎈😂

New funny playful comparison quotes 👇

All funny playful comparison quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes
🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

12 shares on Facebook this month:

No more looking back in anger. It’s time to look forward in anger.

71 shares on Slack this month:

Keep moving, lady, I don’t have room for you in my delusions right now.

71 shares on Snapchat this month:

Diet tip: Your pants can’t get too tight if you never wear any.

39 shares on WeChat this month:

I know it hurts like hell, and you don’t think you can do it, but it’s just one push-up.

60 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Your childhood wasn’t complete unless you were chased by a dog… or a goat… or even worse, a chicken.

40 shares on Messenger this month:

Three serious exes is the right amount before you meet your spouse. You need one truly evil one, one normal one, and one situationship, and then you’ve basically experienced all dating has to offer.

67 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Dear God, thank you for the job I have. But if you have a lottery win planned for me, I’m ready! Thank you.

44 shares on LinkedIn this month:

My taste in music ranges from “You’ve gotta listen to this” to “I know, please don’t judge me.”

74 shares on Telegram this month:

I am stoned and laying in bed reading, and the idea of Santa going on Ozempic popped into my head, and I whispered, “No!”

60 shares on Facebook this month:

I can easily spot a wolf in sheep’s clothing but this guy was dressed like my grandmother which threw me off.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

19 folks are currently checking 👀

69 but we both just farting.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

Eat whatever you want. If someone calls you fat, eat them too.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

I might be annoying, but at least my lock screen isn’t a selfie.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

To the spirits in my walls: going to the store, be right back.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

If Dracula had a cat, she’d be the one sleeping in the coffin.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

My whole life just flashed before my eyes and there was way too much pizza.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

Sorry, I said yippee when you took off your pants. Do you still think I’m hot?

17 folks are currently checking 👀

Sorry I’m late, I was fighting for my right to party.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

Your honor, my client wasn’t trying to stab the victim. He was checking to see if he was cake.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m going to need to rewatch Idiocracy to see what happens next.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

242 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,511

Funny Quotes Topics

17,578

Funny Quotes Images

15,511

Updated

Jan 7, 2026

Users Online

3,438

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇩 has bookmarked:

If at first you don’t succeed, the internet will let you know immediately.

Someone from 🇬🇭 has bookmarked:

I’m a pocket full of sunshine, not your dumping ground for grumpiness.

Someone from 🇨🇿 has downloaded:

It is kind of inspiring that I messed up my life without drugs, gambling or a troubled youth. People really can do anything.

Someone from 🇱🇻 has bookmarked:

I don’t have kids or a dog. What can I bring into a bar that will make everyone mad?

Someone from 🇨🇭 has copied:

The older I get, the more I lose my looks. But I’m also losing my eyesight, so it’s not my problem.

Someone from 🇪🇸 has shared:

Yes, officer I saw the speed limit, I just didn’t see your car.

Someone from 🇹🇩 has downloaded:

Someone at work just farted and I panicked and said ‘compliments to the chef’.

Someone from 🇦🇷 has viewed:

Sorry, I laughed at your bad joke. I was trying to flirt.

Someone from 🇱🇾 has viewed:

Home is where you trust the toilet seat.

Someone from 🇰🇲 has downloaded:

My issue with Jeopardy is that you never get the sense that the contestants are in any real danger.

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Twitch:

It must be hard having an erectile dysfunction.

Broadcasted on Facebook:

I’m bored, but not “read a book for fun” bored.

Seen just now on X:

I’ve faced more peer pressure to watch certain TV shows than to do drugs.

Shared recently on Reddit:

Filling animals with helium is kinda weird, but whatever floats your goat.

Going viral on Reddit:

Dropped my skinny boyfriend between the bed and the wall like a vape or a TV remote.

Just shared via Messenger:

Most insane people live outside of madhouses.

Breaking via Discord:

Combining breakfast and lunch: Brunch. Combining wine and dinner: Winner.

Broadcasted on YouTube:

I try not to post too much, to give everyone else a better chance at being seen.

Making waves on Reddit:

They should release the Epstein list right before the Oscars.

Breaking via Facebook:

That place is so crowded; nobody goes there anymore.

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