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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇷 has viewed:

I’ll never be badass enough to walk around chewing on a toothpick.

Someone from 🇵🇰 has copied:

I miss when The Weeknd made haunted strip club music. Didn’t know how good I had it.

Someone from 🇲🇻 has downloaded:

The government even made aliens boring.

Someone from 🇨🇴 has downloaded:

I recently saw a documentary about dinosaurs. They simply ate everyone they didn’t like. I like that concept.

Someone from 🇵🇦 has shared:

Due to inflation, a picture is now worth 2300 words.

Someone from 🇩🇴 has bookmarked:

Having someone sing you to sleep is so comforting, until you realize you are the only one in the room.

Someone from 🇿🇼 has viewed:

Satan: “I’d tell you to go to Hell, but I work there and don’t wanna see you everyday.”

Someone from 🇰🇭 has bookmarked:

Men will ruin your whole life then come back and like your story.

Someone from 🇦🇱 has shared:

Wisdom of the day: Don’t do anything you don’t want to explain to the paramedic.

Someone from 🇲🇾 has viewed:

Why do my fully charged AirPods deplete at different rates? Do I listen harder out of one ear?

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

774 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,936

Funny Quotes Topics

13,910

Funny Quotes Images

10,936

Updated

57 minutes ago

Users Online

3,440

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Pinterest:

She is both the storm and the shelter.

Broadcasted on Messenger:

Men are like dogs. They’re actually cute, but having my own would be too much work for me.

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

These days I just accept the website cookies without any protest. Website is like Grandma, I’m not gonna fight with you.

Freshly posted on X:

I didn’t really mind the voices in my head until one of them started their own podcast.

Just shared via Instagram:

90% of parenting is just thinking about when you can lie down again.

Just shared via Discord:

Never trust a wet fart.

Just landed via Snapchat:

Mindfulness is out. We’re doing drugs again.

Just landed via Slack:

Why would I date a nonchalant man? I like my men how I like my thong.

Spotted on Telegram:

Suffering from a forehead kisses deficiency (self-diagnosed).

Freshly posted on Facebook:

Hey bartender, can you turn down the music, please? This guy I just met is trying to explain how baseball works.

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media need people procrastination relationship sarcasm social someone technology time want work

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

774 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,936

Funny Quotes Topics

13,910

Funny Quotes Images

10,936

Updated

57 minutes ago

Users Online

3,448

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇻 has shared:

Divorce is so weird. Why do I have an ex-aunt?

Someone from 🇾🇪 has shared:

I don’t wanna be dramatic but the work week continuously restarting is literally ruining my life.

Someone from 🇲🇻 has viewed:

Even worse than the buzzing of the mosquitoes is the moment when it suddenly stops.

Someone from 🇵🇬 has viewed:

Do beavers even know what they’re doing, or do they just see water flowing down a river and think, “Absolutely not”?

Someone from 🇬🇭 has bookmarked:

Another beautiful day, ruined by responsibility.

Someone from 🇬🇳 has bookmarked:

I’m growing a mullet so no one will want to hangout with me.

Someone from 🇸🇱 has shared:

Ever read something so magnificently stupid that you have to just stare into space for a little while and reconcile with your brain for having been subjected to it?

Someone from 🇮🇩 has downloaded:

If the zombie apocalypse happens we’re double screwed because there are millions on record as having no brain.

Someone from 🇧🇿 has downloaded:

A haunted house, but it’s just a room full of people asking you to tell them a fun fact about yourself.

Someone from 🇰🇿 has downloaded:

Weekends are getting shorter and shorter. You blink and it’s already Sunday 5pm.

Social Media Log 💫

Breaking via X:

It’s beginning to cost a lot like Christmas.

Spreading quickly via Snapchat:

You never forget your first kiss. Or your first meeting with HR.

Spotted on WhatsApp:

If I was an elephant, you’d all be sorry.

Just landed via WhatsApp:

Please pray for my husband, he’s struggling to find me.

Just shared via Instagram:

Meetings are great because who doesn’t like being held hostage?

Just shared via Discord:

Mike is short for Micycle.

Live now on Telegram:

My bear’s diarrhea problems are really starting to worry me. The vet says he’s getting better but he’s not out of the woods yet.

Spreading quickly via Slack:

I hope some dyslexic people don’t mail Satan instead of Santa.

Going viral on Slack:

Parents be like “why aren’t you eating, don’t you like my food?” and after you eat a ton, they’ll say “you look a little chubby, maybe you should eat less.”

Making waves on TikTok:

Men be like “I would do anything for you” and then do nothing.

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