Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇳🇿 has shared:

Noise cancelling headphones but for when the noises are coming from inside your head.

Someone from 🇧🇷 has copied:

I know there are bigger problems in the world right now, but I’ve just realized I’ve never seen a baby seagull.

Someone from 🇧🇳 has copied:

I tried a onesome before, but I started catching feelings.

Someone from 🇱🇹 has copied:

Go to Heaven for the climate, Hell for the company.

Someone from 🇦🇲 has viewed:

One year of friendship, and I’ve not seen your breasts? Are we really friends?

Someone from 🇹🇹 has viewed:

Apologies about the delay to your flight. We’re just waiting for one 3D printed part, but apparently a ‘fuselage’ takes a little time.

Someone from 🇬🇪 has copied:

I don’t know about you guys, but when I have to make a decision I analyze the situation, evaluate the risk, take measures to limit the consequences and then I completely screw up.

Someone from 🇲🇪 has copied:

I’m not fragile like a flower. I’m fragile like a bomb.

Someone from 🇯🇵 has viewed:

I’m at the age where unnecessary noise be pissing me off.

Someone from 🇲🇻 has bookmarked:

Twitter is cigarette for the eyes.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,665

Social Media Log 💫

Live now on YouTube:

One of the main reasons to drink tea is because you can say, ‘Let me put the kettle on,’ and stuff like that.

Trending via LinkedIn:

If you haven’t tried blindfold archery, you should give it a go. You don’t know what you’re missing.

Going viral on TikTok:

I used to have this mental illness, where I thought putting your heart and soul into a relationship would make it work.

Making waves on Instagram:

They should invent a DoorDash but for a kiss goodnight and getting tucked in.

Trending via WeChat:

Thank God they have medical marijuana in this state. I need it for my joints.

Broadcasted on TikTok:

Looking for someone who loves me as much as some people love standing up the second a plane lands.

Broadcasted on Pinterest:

In other news, congrats to my therapist for securing a 4 year contract with me.

Just shared via Snapchat:

Y’all ever feel like your mouth is stupid but your mind is smart? Like you’re intelligent but you can’t express it when you’re speaking? It’s so frustrating.

Just shared via Facebook:

My son got braces today. Yay, he’s not going to be a teenage dad.

Trending via X:

Being alive and sentient has been the worst thing to have ever happened to me.

Funny post-apocalyptic quotes

New funny post-apocalyptic quotes 👇

All funny post-apocalyptic quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Funny Quotes Collections
✨ New Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

70 shares on Messenger this month:

My husband sure has a lot of opinions on which movie he’s gonna sleep through.

38 shares on WhatsApp this month:

You have to be careful about sending your spouse things on social media. You send too many things, next thing you know chores are being redistributed because of “all the free time you clearly have”.

35 shares on Messenger this month:

There are approximately 1,010,300 words in the English language, but I could never string enough words together to properly express how much I want to hit you with a chair.

66 shares on Reddit this month:

I just found out it takes 5 sheep to make one wool sweater. I didn’t even know they knew how to knit.

26 shares on TikTok this month:

It was so windy today when I was walking to the gym that I got blown into the wine store.

63 shares on WhatsApp this month:

The fact that someone looked straight at a purple onion and named it red onion really bothers me.

74 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Treat me like a joke and I’ll leave you like it’s funny.

95 shares on TikTok this month:

There are people who leave comments on porn videos.

33 shares on X this month:

My extravagant lifestyle of paying for housing and buying groceries is really getting in the way of my ability to save money.

78 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I always preferred the English spelling of “diarrhea” which is “diarrhoea” because it really looks like you’ve lost control of your vowels.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

24 folks are currently checking 👀

Nothing more humiliating than sending a text message with a picture and the picture doesn’t send for ages and now you’ve said something sooo odd out of context.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

Whatever the plot is in Barbie’s movie, my dolls have been through worse.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

When the weather gets warmer, I will become unstoppable. As long as it doesn’t get too warm, then I will be stoppable.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

Ever since I began sharing dad jokes, my followers have doubled in sighs.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

I think that police officers on foot should wear blue flashing sneakers.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

There is no actual wolf in Wolf of Wall Street.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

My daily routine. Morning: Feeling tired, cranky and lazy. Afternoon: I could go for a nap. Night: I can’t sleep.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

Prime numbers are so cunty. Like okay, diva — only divisible by yourself?

5 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m at an age where, when I’m tying my shoes, I think about what else I can do while I’m down here.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

l identify as a Christmas tree. Lit on the outside, dead on the inside.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,449

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇲 has shared:

Let the kids believe in Santa. I believed the Undertaker and Kane were brothers.

Someone from 🇹🇯 has bookmarked:

‘Blinded by the Light’ is really just a song about turning the bathroom light on in the middle of the night.

Someone from 🇨🇭 has bookmarked:

I hope Google never goes down. I know like six, maybe seven, things.

Someone from 🇲🇨 has shared:

Have you guys heard of recency bias? I hadn’t, but now I’m seeing it literally everywhere. Must be a big deal.

Someone from 🇳🇮 has viewed:

I gave you a follow back, not a Tinder match, don’t “Hey, beautiful” me.

Someone from 🇹🇭 has viewed:

There should be sympathy cards for having to go back to work after a vacation.

Someone from 🇮🇷 has copied:

Idiocracy wasn’t supposed to be a documentary.

Someone from 🇱🇸 has viewed:

“Gravy is not a beverage.” Okay, well that’s why I was trying to drink it in the bathroom, so you wouldn’t see me.

Someone from 🇹🇩 has shared:

Free marriage tip: Don’t ask your wife when dinner will be ready while she is mowing the lawn.

Someone from 🇸🇴 has viewed:

69% of people find something dirty in every sentence.

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Instagram:

I admire how time manages to quickly heal wounds but takes forever to remove awkward tan lines.

Breaking via Instagram:

I’m begging for a day to be added in between Saturday and Sunday.

Freshly posted on Reddit:

Accidentally became important at work and it’s ruining my life.

Breaking via Reddit:

Saw a big spider crawl into my closet last night. He’s probably in there trying on all my clothes, acting like he’s me.

Freshly posted on X:

Big fan of the comma, just great. Like look, I just made you pause the sentence as you read it. Oh look, I just did it again.

Just landed via X:

A Jackie Chan fight scene where he’s in an IKEA warehouse and he fights off dudes with furniture pieces, but by the end he’s accidentally assembled it all into a complete Malm bedroom set.

Shared recently on X:

You’re 25, stressing like you’re 40, because you want to be rich before 30, am I right?

Just landed via Messenger:

Thanksgiving should be called Feaster.

Making waves on Twitch:

Being a people pleaser that no one is pleased with is the main cause of my anxiety.

Breaking via Slack:

When they ask “how was your weekend?” answer “better than yours” and maintain eye contact.

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